i dont try anymore?

Question

i was a loner in a small high school, being the new kid..when i started college last year, i joined many clubs and weekend overnights to feel a part of the group, but i was always left out...i never really found a group similar to my personality, and when i meet a fellow introvert, that person prefers to hang out with the outgoing group--where i just didnt fit...now, im just on my own, i eat alone and read a book in a corner...i do one on ones, but i excuse myself out when she hangs out with the 'group...'...is this healthy??? or is this a sign of depression im not aware of....

Answer 1

DUDE get used to it. Youre just cooler than they are. Hang with a couple people , make sure youre the leader or hang alone, thats how it goes when youre top dog.

Answer 2

I don't know if it's a sign of depression, since I don't know you face to face, but it sounds as though it's more than just being an introvert. It sounds like you need to accept who you are and like yourself that way! There is nothing wrong with being an introvert! I personally find the "cool" people less interesting than the geeks. Maybe you are a geek and you should embrace your inner geekness? You needn't be a part of college clubs and societies if there is nothing that tickles your fancy. The rest of the community has groups too. Join a book group, perhaps? Or if you are a geek, I'd recommend trying out the role playing/ sci fi group. Most colleges have them. Usually populated by computer science students, but that's ok :) The SCA (http://www.sca.org) if you are interested in medieval history or handicrafts. They do have groups on some college campuses. Check the website. Hey, if your college doesn't have one you could always start one! Email the Seneschal of your closest group. Or, rather than sit on your own, you can go along with your chick friend and sit with the cool group. You don't need to say anything, you can just sit and listen. There are people around like you, so instead of joining things that you think you should join, try joining things that you might actually enjoy. It's perfectly ok to be like you, rather than like someone else.

Answer 3

it's not a sign of depression in and of itself. If none of the other signs are there then I wouldn't worry about it being depression.


If you don't MIND being alone.. then it's no problem.. I'm an introvert also so I can understand how you feel. But I had to learn, as you probably should as well, that it is good to have a close friend or two or three that you can occasionally hang out with in a group setting. Even if you aren't the life of the party, it's ok. It's healthy to get a little interaction from time to time and will help build your social skills for the future (jobs/relationships and the likes)

Answer 4

This is difficult for a lot of people, feeling as though you don't fit in is common, in fact all of those people hanging out in the group probably feel at some moment as though they don't fit in, even though they continue to hang out in the crowd.

Try not to exclude yourself from the group, this might make you feel better for a little while since you avoid the awkwardness of the crowd but really it makes them feel as though you are uncomfortable with them. Instead play along with the group even if you don't bring much to the group at first that will change over time. Keep the encounters short but frequent.

This is so easy to say, but really it's the most difficult thing people face in everyday life some are a little better at it but most are just like you, and we aren't depressed or weird or anti-social, we're just a little more interpersonal, we are better at dealing with people as individuals, it's a whole other ball game when people are in groups.

Answer 5

When my friends left me behind in high school, I had less of a social life. I was almost completely alone throughout college, except for a few acquaintances. But there were no get-togethers. I did feel sorry for myself, especially when other girls announced their engagements. This attitude didn't help.

What did help, was to stop running after people to fit in with or to like me, and find other avenues of enjoyment, even it meant I would be alone. Being alone is not necessarily a sign of depression. If some people had been by themselves to seek doing something good for others, instead of listening to the wrong group, they might not be in jail or dead today.

Being alone can be a time of getting to know oneself better, to learn from others' mistakes and not repeat them. I take my solitary time out to meditate on how good God has been to me in a relationship (this is NOT religion). It's in my quiet time ALONE when I occasionally hear Him speak to me personally, and give me answers. You don't have to be around a bunch of people all the time to feel "normal". Just have it together with the right Friend.

Answer 6

sometimes it's better to be alone then to be with a lot of people. if your not happy about being a loner, then maybe try and hang out with your introverted friends group a little and if they accept you as you are then take it from there :)

Answer 7

it's probably not depression if you don't feel distressed by your loner status. if you feel like you want to be with other people and just don't fit in, you may be depressed. don't give up finding your clique (if you're still interested) - most people like you find a small group they are comfortable with, but don't enjoy big crowds anyway. and, after college the real world is a whole different atmosphere. just find a few people you seem to be in tune with and enjoy their company. cheers!