We had a healthy romantic relationship but we were sexually incompatible. I wanted it a lot more than she did and to be honest I am a lot kinkier than she was willing to play along with. So it didn't work out but we remained friends. She's bisexual and she ended up meeting this great guy and marrying him.
I have a bad habit of spoiling my girlfriends with physical affection and romantic intamacy. As time gone by I notice she's leaning on me more and more for her emotional needs. I told her this is equivalant to having an emotional affair but she says we are just friends. She's deathly scared of losing me so anytime I bring the subject up she totally flips out and warns me that she'll be really hurt. I tell her she has to trust her husband and depend on him more but she says he's just not that kind of guy. I am at my wits end? Should I just end my friendship? I am scared it will hurt her relationship even more.
2007-12-04 07:36:48 · 9 answers · asked by Nikky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think maybe he really won't attend to her needs and whatever they have right now is destroyed in the process.
2007-12-04 07:46:28 · update #1
How can you say it's not my concern? I care for her. And the guy is a good man. I certainly like him as well. He's honest, truthful and hardworking. Maybe he's a little frigid emotionally but I think they should have chance to work on that.
2007-12-04 07:48:53 · update #2
Nefertiti, that's really a good advice. I should try to work on that. I think if I end it suddenly it might have a negative impact.
2007-12-04 07:52:05 · update #3
Yes you should end it with her....you are emotionally cheating with her....How do you think her husband would feel knowing that his wife calls her ex because she emotionally depends on her? How could ending your relationship with her hurt her relationship with her husband? That makes no sense....I certainly can't believe that your relationship is helping her marriage at all.... I don't see how her marriage turns out is really any concern of yours...
Are you a woman?? If that is the case....I can see how you would be concerned....I am sorry...but men will sometimes you female avatars....
Being that you are a female...then I would suggest that you slowly end the relationship....She should be depending upon her husband for getting her emotional needs met....Now I can see why you are concerned...women have a different emotional bond with one another.....I thought you were a guy...and that is why I thought you should just end it.....
Sorry Nefertiti....I disagreed with you at first...but that is because I thought I was dealing with a man...I absolutely agree with what you suggested....
2007-12-04 07:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe instead of suddenly ending your friendship you could just slowly phase it out over time. That would (hopefully) give her a chance to bond with her husband. You're not responsible for her relationships, but you obviously care about her. Maybe you could try not being so easily available. For example, if she calls you daily, let a day go by before returning the call. She will initially be alarmed, but if you set the stage by saying you were just really busy and not rejecting her, you can then begin extending the time between calls. Still occasionally get together, but again gradually extend the time in between.
2007-12-04 07:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are divorced. You need to start pulling away, more and more, and by the end of a couple months, you should be free to say I'm done. She picked her husband, you didn't, so it is up to her to make it work. She will cling to you more and more and come in between you and any relationship you will have. You responsiblity is over, go tell her husband it is now up to him to handle it, and you don't want to know anything about their problems.
2007-12-04 07:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to end it. Think of it (and tell her), how would she be acting if you were a man? She would not talk to him at all.
She should not be taking advantage of you because you are a woman and an ex.
Ha ha NO guy is "that kind of guy" LOL! I might cross the fence soon myself if I keep meeting losers LOL!!!
2007-12-04 07:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by kittykatsback 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that she is married, she needs to respect her relationship with her husband - as do you. If she starts calling you too much, you need to remind her that this is why she married her husband. If you start being strong and pushing her away, then she will hopefully get the hint.
2007-12-04 08:06:43 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start slowly cutting her off without her knowledge. Every once and a while, have "other plans" that keep you away from her. She will learn to be independent if you give her a chance.
2007-12-04 07:49:30 · answer #6 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be the right the to do. She needs to learn to rely on her husband and if she thinks that you'll always be there she never will.
2007-12-04 07:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I you feel is the right thing to do then do it. It will help you emotionally and her. It will also probably help her and her marriage.
2007-12-04 07:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by bnm0044 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will do the more sex
2007-12-07 20:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by remo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋