To young to do this?

Question

My bf and i have been dating for a year and a half now. We started dating my senior year of highschool (well the second half) We're both 18 and both of our parent taught us well. I promise we aren't two stupid teens lol. But the other day he was taking to me about christmas presents and showed me a pcture of a ring. EEK! when i read the add it said wedding ring! So that was pretty much his way of asking me to marry him. I made sure that i wasn't just assuming.Though I didn't turn him down, i didnt say yes either. He even showed both our parents before showing me. They didn't really think of it as a huge thing, just a ring, and it would be a nice gift. My mom even suggested getting matching rings and then when we get married that we should get something engraved. My question is though i am planning to wait quite some time before such a huge commitment, how young is TOO young to get married? I dont want to say yes and spring for a chapel asap, but i dont want to wait 20 more yrs either.

What surprised me is my parents were fine with it.I talked to my mom and step dad about it and they think we make a wonderful couple.

Thank you all for your advice^^ i really appreciate it.

Answer 1

I agree. Wait a few more years.

Perhaps you can come to an understanding that it's a promise ring. Then, if all goes well, step into an engagement and later, marriage. The doubts you feel are healthy and you should not ignore them.

I fall into the category of a "one man woman," and I didn't date droves of men. Still, while I was between the ages of 20 and 35 I was proposed to six times (twice by two different guys), but I didn't have a peace about committing to any of them. Know when I felt ready? Not until I met my current husband, and I was 39 years old then. I am so very glad that I waited for my Mr. Right. By then, I knew I could support myself if necessary, understood the reality of adulthood and had a strong sense of who I am as a person. I was able to bring much more substance into our marriage, and the relationship has just grown sweeter since we tied the knot.

I'm not suggesting that everyone wait as long as I did, but I am suggesting that you wait until you feel that the timing is right. It's terrific that you have your parents support and that you value their input, but be sure to marry only for the right reasons, not because others think you should or that you and your boyfriend make a good couple.

Answer 2

There are a lot of things you should experience together before you get married. I don't think you're necessarily too young to get married (it all depends on the person - I could NEVER get married before 21 and hope my kids don't either) but I do think that you should have more time with your boyfriend. You two need to deal with things together and see how you communicate, etc.

I got married 2 months ago. My husband and I dated for 6 years and we are both 26 years old. We lived together for a couple years as well which taught us a lot about each other.

With the divorce rate so high in this country, I say what's the harm in waiting a while? You're 18 now, in 5 years think of what kind of strong foundation you and your boyfriend will have built together. I like your mom's idea of having "promise rings". You and your boyfriend are committed and in love and you have the rest of your lives to be married if it's meant to be. Enjoy each other now and don't change things with such a huge committment. Marriage is completely different than a really really committed relationship. A happy marriage is top priority! :)

Answer 3

I got married the FIRST time at 17 and spent the next 20 years miserable. I can't speak for everyone but I know that I wished I would have done a lot of things I missed out on when I was young. Only you know your true feelings, but my suggestion is to finish school (college), do a little traveling, live on your own for a while, and just in general live your life. If you two are that great a couple then you should have no problem waiting until your 23 - 25 years old before actually getting married.

Just one persons opinion, search your heart but use your head. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

If you aren't ready to be engaged then you are too young. It doesn't matter that your parents are ok with it, this is something that you have to deal with. They won't be there day in and day out after you are married. Don't wait for him to buy the ring and give it to you to tell him how you feel. There is such a high rate fo divorce these days. If you are pressured into committing to him before you are ready then there's a good chance that you will become a statistic too. If he's hellbent on getting you a ring suggest that he gets a promise ring. It's like a step before an engagement ring and you won't feel too tied down and he won't feel like you don't want to be with him. Good luck

Answer 5

I think that 18 or 19 is a good age as long as the two people are out of school and pursuing careers. Itis hard out there. i was married at 18 and it has been 11 years for me now. I say wait two years that will give you good plannign time for the wedding and money in the bank. If you two plan to attend college maybe you should even wait until your sophmore or junior year. You will still be young and full of life. Congrats on the engagement and for now just enjoy being engaged. P.S. try to marry within 5 years long engagements are just that too long.

good luck

Answer 6

I think you shoud wait until you're a little older. You're still young and have plenty of time ahead of you. Do you really want to look back on your life and regret it? If you kow that you love each other and are going to stay together, what's the harm in waiting just a few more years? You don't know. You may fall in love with someone else. Wait until you're both older and more mature. It's hard for two 40 year old adults to get married and live with each other and stay together. How hard do you think it will be for two 18 year olds? Marriage is hard at first, and you have to be old enough and mature enough to work through the rough patches. Plus, what if you decide to go to college? While your friends are going out to party, you;ll be doing the whole momma-thing instead of enjoying yourself. Have fun while you're young, because before you know it, they'll be gone and you'll have nothing left of it but memories. Don't you want them to be good memories? If you love him, tell him you want to wait, then you'll really be able to stay together. Make sure thats who you want to be with for the rest of your life. Then, when the time comes, get married, raise your kids, and get old together. Don't settle for anything less.

Answer 7

there is no such thing as too young or too old to get married, if you feel ready than you probably are. from your message you sound pretty freaked out by getting married at this time, but if you do feel that at some point in the future you'll be ready to marry your boyfriend, then no harm in getting engaged. an engagement doesn't mean that you have to save a date, its a form of commitment, many people have very long (years) engagments but even if this idea freaks you out than i would advise you to decline the proposile for the time being.

Answer 8

18 wouldnt be to young to get engaged, but wait a year or two before getting married. Maybe get a place together and see how compatable you really are and that way you are kind of like a married couple but if it didnt work out there wouldnt be a messy divorce.

Answer 9

I find that the older I get I become a different person, it is not a matter of age the number but more of age the place in life you are. Make sure that you know that THIS is who I am also make sure that he is who he thinks he is too. If you had to live life apart for 6 months upon returning to his side would you still be the person the he thought you were?

Answer 10

I got married when I was 19 and haven't regretted any of it. You need to make sure that you are ready for a lifetime with the same person everyday, and learn to make decisions together, etc. If you feel he's the one, I don't see what's stopping you. Make sure you are both financially, emotionally, & physically ready for all of the ups and downs that come along with marriage. Good Luck & Best Wishes!