My wife denies having an affair. All her friends are male and she never has time to talk to me due to working or being "BUSY" yet she has her cell phone glued to her ear all day. Last month alone she racked up 60 calls to 1 person for a total of 99 hours. I know it is wrong to snoop but if it walks like a duck & talks like a duck it must be a duck.
I found email that were of the phone sex nature which she claims were just innocent fun. I found an unopened box of condoms in her drawer that she was "keeping for a friend"who left it in her car. We have not had sex in months & are basically room mates.
I know the answer to my question but just wanted some verification to see if I am paranoid or correct.
And yes I can b serious about this 1
2007-12-04 07:26:27 · 22 answers · asked by U can't b serious 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trust me, we have had plenty of husband to wife talks with plenty of denials on her part. I know what my gut tells me...& it is knots.
2007-12-04 07:34:45 · update #1
Wow, I definatly appreciate all the kind words. Like I said, I already knew the answers in my gut & in my heart. Unfortunatly we have two beautiful boys that would be devistated by us divorcing. Right now I have my room upstairs & her down. We are cordial at home for the sake of the boys & they are alright with the situation. They do know what is going on, no details, but that mom & dad are having problems. I am glad that people are aroung to let me pour out my feelings. Once again thanks. If any of you would like to chat more please feel free to contact me. & to all who said get out more...I plan on it
2007-12-04 07:45:53 · update #2
I hope yall are not expecting a best answer from me. I think they are all great & are sincerly appreciated. I will let you decide the best answer. God bless you all & I hope this never happens to you
2007-12-04 08:16:48 · update #3
You are correct.
2007-12-04 07:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon29 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with your own assessment and also those of the other answers you have gotten on this question. It is obvious that your wife is having an affair. The whole thing about the box of condoms was killing me. I can think of a lot of things I might ask a married friend to hold, but that's a real odd one. My best advice to you is just to make sure you understand that someone else's cheating is not a reflection of you. I dated a guy for 7 years, and to this day I am not sure how many people he was with during our relationship. Me and him had great sex to, so that wasn't even it. The fact is some people just don't think about other people and these types of actions make that very obvious. I am also a divorced mom, and my daughters are happy well adjusted teenagers. They are thankful to me and their father that we did not stay in a bad relationship. Just remember your analogy that if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, is a duck..is right on the money. I know sometimes its very hard to not let someone tell you what you want and hope to hear, but you are better off moving on in your life without someone who is incapable of being honest. Its called wanting to have her cake and eating it to..and it doesn't work. Good luck to you!
2007-12-04 18:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you call her alot? She may not be having an actual affair, the condom box was closed right? Look I know everyone thinks I'm crazy because I always approach things differently, but I'm a smart *** and hate arguing about stuff. I would quit calling when she leaves or when shes at work. Just say screw it whatever. Stop worrying about whats going on. Quit watching the game at home and go to a sports bar, have a good time. Maybe she's got something to prove. Make new friends, if shes to busy then why aren't you? Life is to short to deal with people like this. I would just do whatever I wanted to do and if she comes around great whatever and if she doesn't at least you have better things to do! I hope I helped some.
2007-12-04 15:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by jesscblu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately i think you have already answered your own question. If she is denying it and you don't have any real proof then it all comes down to do you believe and trust her. From your question i would say that you don't. The question is can you try to put this behind you or do you cut your losses and move on.
I know that i would rather move on. May sound a bit harsh but if she is with someone else then she doesn't care about you as much as you deserve. My advice would be cut your losses before she belittles you and dents your confidence in yourself. All that will come of this affair is hurt. Put a stop to it before you are the one that's hurt the most.
2007-12-04 15:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by Cinderella 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are probably correct. I would very calmly ask her if she would like to get a divorce, because you are not happy, and you can tell she isn't. If it has come down to this, it is time to go seperate ways, and she will either work at making the marrige work, or agree to the divorce. Life is much to short to be tied to someone that doesn't respect you.
2007-12-04 15:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but it sounds like an affair to me also. I am a married woman and have never kept a box of condoms for a friend that were supposedly, left in my car.... Christmas gifts to keep hidden from their family members...no condoms.....
You need to hire a lawyer, hope there are no children involved, for all of your sakes.
Good luck, I wish you the best.
2007-12-04 15:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sue F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time to piss or get off the pot sweetie! Even if she is not physically cheating, she assuredly is not putting forth any effort to make this work. If she is not looking to your needs, not paying attention to you and not spending the majority of her time with you, she is not invested in the marriage. Move on, take the time to heal and find a female worthy of your attention.
2007-12-04 15:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already found the condoms, and the phone call records...
I wouldn't believe her...
If we're on the same page... It sounds like your wife might be having another affair....
I hope things get better for you! :]
2007-12-04 15:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah*NKOTB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she is, yet. Sounds like she is working on it, tho. You two need to sit down and talk about your feelings. You need alone time. No cell, no TV, no distractions. Sit and talk about whats going on. She needs to understand you have needs too. Marriage is a two way street. I'm surprised you haven't thrown the condoms in the trash by now, I would have.
Oh, and, women can have male friends without sleeping with them.
2007-12-04 15:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by scicodawg 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're on the right page..... you need to decide if you can forgive and get past this IF she's willing to straighten up. If she's still denying, there's probably your answer too. You deserve someone that will be good to you and loyal.
2007-12-04 15:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong...have a husband to wife talk and honestly ask here....no yelling, no cursing, temp is normal. Just tell her you need to know.
2007-12-04 15:33:09 · answer #11 · answered by Tray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋