My husband expects me to just let him have intercourse when he is ready. No kissing, no foreplay nothing. It wasn't always like this. We used to have a great sex life, but for the last year or so, it's been like this and I feel completely used. What do you think? He says he likes it that way.
2007-12-04 07:24:58 · 24 answers · asked by swoman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What are you doing, laying there while he climbs on?
Instead of complaining about what he's NOT doing, what are YOU doing?
2007-12-04 09:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by Roy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like your being selfish, you want foreplay but don't instigate it. like everything in a relationship its a two way street. instead of making him lead take it into your own hands (or mouth)(so to speak) don't let it reach the bedroom give him a lap dance on the couch. dress all sexy and tease the hell out of him and don't give it up until you get what you want.
tell him you've been thinking about having sex with another guy when he gets all pissed tell him yeah you know that great guy you used to be that had great sex with me, thats the one I've been thinking about.
WARNING just don't get mad if he doesn't respond like you think he should (remember he's a guy) don't make him feel rejected either (remember he's a guy)
This is your husband, he may like it this way but you are his wife show him a whole new way. ps sex in the shower is great too. good luck!!!
2007-12-04 15:53:34 · answer #2 · answered by alikes756 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My bf does this all the time. I feel like you. Used and not really wanted. I told my bf that us girls can't just get into it like they do. We need warmed up first. He says it is all just overrated and we should be able to do it just like they do. Anyway, I told him that unless I get some foreplay then there is no intercourse. I want to enjoy it just as much as he does. Try telling your husband next time he wants it that way unless he gives you some foreplay then he knows how to do it hisself and then walk away. If he wants it bad enough he will give you what you want.
2007-12-04 15:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be asking him what is going on, what has changed?
Do you not find me sexy enough to touch, kiss & fondle?
There has to be a reason for the change, I mean if you 2 had great sex before then why the change to wham bam thank you mamma?
My husband & I have been together for over 26 years & he always wants foreplay & lots of it before sex.
2007-12-04 15:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will really have to discuss this with him. He may like it that way but you don't and you matter too! If he agrees and is willing to try to make it better for you, then you can try some new things... like books, Movies, sexy outfits, surprising him when he comes home from work. there are a lot of sex books out there. I really like the book what your mother never told you about sex. Good Book!
If he isn't willing to try to work on things for you. You could go on strike and not have sex at all. Seek the help of a counselor. Or try to just make it more fun yourself, like making him wait and dressing sexy. I hope this helps a little sweetie!
2007-12-04 15:32:23 · answer #5 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is more to it than what you are saying. Have you been arguing, having financial difficulties? Have there been any physical problems or health problems? Have you kept yourself up to make him want to play rather than just find release?
You need to discuss this with him again and make sure that it is not in an argumentive manner that makes him defensive.
Oh just an off-hand thought, if he is your mate then there should be no question of "let" it is a given for two married people to see to each others needs. Sex is not a bargaining chip!
2007-12-04 15:33:44 · answer #6 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds selfish. I agree with one of the other gals, sometimes it is fine and even fun and exciting, but not on a regular basis. Don't nag about it though, that's a turn off. Do you ever try initiating? I know it is a 2-way thing, but try initiating some foreplay with him.
2007-12-04 15:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by im sure 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once I started feeling like just a hole, it was time for me to move on. Sex is about two people, otherwise you should just go and masturbate.
And trust me, there are men out there who aren't so selfish and do recognize that a woman deserve hers too, some in fact totally get off on making sure of it.
2007-12-04 15:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you like it YOUR way...and that means foreplay!! It is very selfish for him to expect you to just basically "be there" as a receptacle...he might as well pleasure himself alone, since its all the same to you. I think there is more to this than meets the eye....ask him WHY....
2007-12-04 15:32:27 · answer #9 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get counseling help if I were you. Sorry. Sex is about mutual satisfaction. Personally, right now, my wife pretty much just wants to let me do my "stuff" and get it over with. (no, I do not want to trade). Not very satisfying for me, actually. We've got issues, and we're working through them; slowly, sometimes, not so patiently. But that's what you gotta do. You need to please him - and sometimes, that's doing what he wants. But he also needs to please you sometimes too.
2007-12-04 15:35:25 · answer #10 · answered by fnyunj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow girl. I would just not put out at all. Have a talk with him or something, and if things don't change, then don't give in. Why should it be pleasureable for him, but not for you ?
2007-12-04 15:35:18 · answer #11 · answered by Shannon29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋