Suggestions On Making Ex-Wife's Life Difficult ATTN ATTORNEYS?

Question

ATTENTION ATTORNEYS OR PARALEGALS OR EXPERIENCED PEOPLE Ok.. I may seem a bit mean HOWEVER I dont care at this point. My husband and I have been chasing down his ex-wife for the past two years to get to see his daughter and his ex-wife just makes it more complicated.. We are trying to figure out ways to keep her butt in court and make her life more difficult in anyway. Just to give an example.. SHE NEVER FOLLOWS THE COURT ORDER - HOWEVER We are stuck paying and paying and paying her. She simply does everything she can to make everything difficult.. Has anyone been through this and has any suggestions on how to LEGALLY make her life difficult.. And by legally I mean being able to really nail her to the wall with out breaking the law..

I just want to add... She ran off to Oklahoma before they were divorced and with held visitation for over a year. Had to track her down Serve her than fight more in court.. This was over a year ago and she is still doing the same thing

Answer 1

Get a visitation order, NOW.

Without it, you can't do much.....you'll never get out of paying the child support, suck it up.....she can have it garnished out of his wages and the courts are still stupid about this sort of thing.....just factor it into your budget...

That being said, it's very unfair that you pay child support but don't get the benefit of visitation....Divorce is such a crappy thing....Fathers who are used to tucking their children in bed every night are now told they can only see them every other weekend, all because Mommy is screwing the guy down the road and thinks he would be more fun to live with?

Anyways, Withholding child support because you don't get visitation is a no no. The court will hand you your head if you try this.

Your best bet is to file visitation in the county that the child lives in.....
If you already have this visitation order, start documenting when she breaks the arrangments.....keep a record of this.....when she doesn't show up, when she's late......when she interferes....if something was wrong, for example child had dirty clothes on, hadn't had supper when it's 10pm at night, that sorta thing.......then go back to court and try to get shared custody or total custody.....

Good luck with this.....I'm on both sides of the fence here.....my children's father is a loser who hasn't seen the kids in over 5 years.......and I won't let him either now........

Answer 2

Yes there is a way.

What is going on here is what is called Parent Alienation Syndrome. Look it up.

I have been dealing with my case for 15 years.

Here is what you need to do:

First find the best attorney who deals with Matrimonial Law.

1. Petition the Court for Custody (Basis Mental Abuse of Children)
2. Order Psychological and Custody Evaluations of all parties
3. Move the Court to recognize that mental damage is being done to the child as a result of the mothers actions
4. Get your own evaluator over and above what the Court orders
5. Appeal if you dont stop the mother from mentally abusing the child.

Note: It will not be easy, there are millions of kids and families this happens to. My case is on January 29, 2008 it started February 1 1993.

I know the pain you feel. But keep writing the kids (s) and tell them how much you love them no matter what. It will pay off at some point.

Answer 3

Child support and parenting time are TWO DIFFERENT ISSUES.

Child support is his LEGAL obligation to his kids - NO MATTER WHAT! Get over that right now or your marriage is DONE! He has to support them and take care of them. A divorce is not a piece of paper to leave the child - just the spouse.

Parenting time - does he have an order? If not get one. If so - then every time she denies the time - file a contempt of court hearing on her and you will get your time back.

As for her leaving the state......if they were still married - then nothing can be done to her, there is nothing against the law in taking your children on a trip - if they were divorced and the COURT ORDER states she was not to move - then file a contempt of court on her - if there is NOTHING in the order. Guess what - you can't do anything!

As a step mom myself - you need to step back.....this fight is with your husband and his ex. He needs to do all the fighting - you are his support system and his cheering section - nothing else.

You as a step parent have no legal rights to these kids and in the courts eyes are a 3rd party.

Once you step outside the box and stop letting all this anger eat you up - you can be happy and concentrate on your marriage.

Hate is a very ugly thing - and it is not pretty.....smile and walk away - be the better person...

Answer 4

you can get her for kidnapping. on the grounds that there is shared custody, she has crossed state lines, and she has not given you updated contact information for the child. it could even be taken to a federal level if she left the state with the child, and without notifying the father first.

if there is shared custody of the child, and he has legal visitation rights, in some states he legally does not have to pay child support if and when he does not receive his allotted time of visitation with the child.

unfortunately you may just have to run circles in the court system for a very long time before anything really gets done about it all. no offense, but the ex is doing a brilliant job at making your lives more difficult than hers.

Answer 5

Try contacting a child advocacy service - they track down deadbeat dads - surely they can track down deadbeat moms too.

And then speak with your atty and the judge about putting the child support payments in a trust - to freeze the $$ unless and until child is allowed to visit dad.

After all, the judge ordered these visitations and she's in contempt. Which may be grounds for granting you custody...

Finally, you may just have to accept the fact that this woman is a kook and you have no choice but to pay.

BUT always pay your child support!

Answer 6

She is in contempt of court- the systems will eventually find her and fine her or garnish her wages or something like that. In the meantime... cover your ***!!!!
Keep everything documented. And the other guy is right--- pay your child support!!!!
Remember this too.... because the daughter has had very little contact with her Dad ....this has given the Mom lots of time to "poison" the daughter against her father.....
If and when he does get to see the daughter... it can be very awkward for everybody.... and traumatic for the child.

Think of the child first.... the Mom obviously isn't.

Answer 7

Most divorce action state that the children can't be moved out of state without the consent of both parents

Is he paying support directly to her (if he is stop until you get the visitation stuffed ironed out)

If he's paying the court he should file a motion to cease until the visitation stuff is worked out.

Answer 8

Well, in his case, he should petition for sole custody, due to the negligent and flighty way his ex-wife has been swinging the kids around, and denying access and visitation.
He also has legal grounds for taking a child across state lines without express consent of the other parent.

Answer 9

My suggestion is to stop what you are doing right now and stop contacting her before it causes you trouble-this is ridiculous behavior and not good for the child either-at some point the child will want to see her father and then he can have visitation. child support is an obligation to the child -move past your thinking and mature a bit.

Answer 10

First of all you need to butt out of this. It is between him and his exwife. By YOU coming on here and asking how to make HER life miserable one can only surmise that you are jealous, vindictive which implies you are childish and immature. Back off, let him and his lawyer deal with things and grow up.