My boyfriend of 5 months just revealed to me last night that he was in a relationship when we met and started dating, and he continued to see this person. he said that he felt really guilty and wanted me to know. God had already revealed this to me in a dream, so I really wasn't very surprised. but the strange thing about it is that for some strange reason, I am not angry about it, almost like I dont even care, but of course I dont want him to know this. I do however like him alot, I am just not in love with him. so how do you explain this?? shouldn't I be devastated and crying my eyes out right now ?
2007-12-04 06:42:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am in agreement with Nick, but also think that perhaps you might be emotionally "in limbo" right now. I remember when my partner told me that he was dating another woman while he was out of town -- it was in response to some rather probing questions of mine (yes, I already "knew", too...the famous, mysterious instinct of women) -- and I reacted quite calmly at the moment, too.
V-E-R-Y calmly. Very reasonably. I sounded like a Vulcan.
It wasn't until the next day that I went out, got a load of boxes and started to pack...
2007-12-04 06:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Solstice 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
mmm well many times people get to the point where they just dont care. however i dont think you are at that point maybe it more a state of shock i hope that you would be able to talk to him about and i think that you should tell him how you feel. Some people take things like this harder than others. If my boyfriend cheated on me i am sure that i would be upset but i dont think i was surely leave him like you he does not know that. i say tell him how you feel see what the response you both have to the conversation.
2007-12-04 14:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by ohshielamyspz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll leave the God aspect out of it.
Love may not have anything with it. Not everyone has the same desire for monogamy. Some people enjoy being with multiple partners, or fantasizing about their partner having multiple partners. Its not a bad thing by any means. Granted its different than the norm, but there's a lot of people out there who don't lead monogamist lives.
2007-12-04 15:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's true that monogamy is not for everyone. It's also true that most people who like to believe that they're "free spirits" are just lying, cheating cowards who are too immature to handle a committed relationship. The difference is always 100% HONESTY. A true free spirit wouldn't even think about lying, especially by omission of facts, the way this woman's boyfriend did.
So, I think we can safely assume that he's simply just another selfish, cheating liar.
2007-12-04 15:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by Equinox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself, you don't love him at all. I would leave him though, no matter how you feel about it. I think that God didn't reveal this to you, you probably just knew subconsciously. Don't stay with someone you cannot trust whether you love him or not, what is the point really.
2007-12-04 14:46:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Mad Maddy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can think of two possible answers:
1. You don't care for him enough to be upset by this.
2. You are afraid if you get mad he will leave you or it will bring tension to the relationship (ie - you don't want to rock the boat).
2007-12-04 14:47:43 · answer #6 · answered by NickG 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you worry when you dreamt about it? if you don't care, why are you posting this question up in the first place? you said it, you're not in love with him, maybe cos' you don't really love him as much as you thought? i dont know. you know it best. but what i wanna say is, at least he lets you know, i guess he must be really nice to you. good luck.
2007-12-04 14:52:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
devastated, no. And as long as you make it clear to him that it's not ok for this to happen again (assuming this is a closed relationship) then how you react is completely up to you.
2007-12-04 14:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by pip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok well two things may be going on....
1. you may be forcing yourself to love him, but you really don't, you just want to say it, and you can't force yourself to be sad over somethign you don't really care about
OR
2. You love him so much, it doesn't matter what he does. you're telling yourself you don't love him becuz u dont' wanna be hurt, but you really do
either way i wish you luck
2007-12-04 14:52:13 · answer #9 · answered by Jack O 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not everyone reacts like a blubbering baby... u obvoiusly took it way better
be happy but beat the hell out of him btw
2007-12-04 14:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by Luvybuddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋