Theres this guy Ive known for about a year. We both really liked eachother but never actually dated..we did have sex several times & he was the only person I was seeing. We stopped talked due to conlficts of interest..but I found myself fantasizing about being pregnant..with his child! I wanted it so badly! He contacted me recently & asked me..basically if I would hook up with him..normally I would say no..but I saw this as my opportunity to get pregnant. So I bought some condoms & poked several holes in them..I acted aggressive when the 'time came' & teasingly put it on him myself..he never knew. Now I'm pregnant. I dont want his $ or support. I dont even want to tell him. My dreams of having a baby are finally coming true & I dont need help from anyone-as I am financially secure & mature/responsible. I feel guilty a little bit though... and wonder if I should ever tell him. I dont want to..but i feel like i owe it to him. He's go a good guy..and i stupidly ****** him over. So wrong.
2007-12-04 06:34:59 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Okay okay... so due to lack of space I left alot of things out. I kNOW what i did was wrong... and the fact that I'm owning up to it does make me mature and responsible. you all think i'm this horrible crazy *****, but thats not me at all. yes, i was selfish. yes i was stupid. yes it was very wrong. but at the time... after months of fantasizing about it, i dont know... somehow... i just impulsivly did it. i regret it now. its not the way a baby should come into the world. and yes, i will tell him. I havn't started showing yet, but i plan to tell him this week. i really dont need everyone judging me and telling me how immature I am... i thought people got on here to help other people and encourage eachother. thanks for nothing. guess i'll just do this all on my own.
2007-12-04 07:36:18 · update #1
besides.. if you put yurself in my shoes for a couple of seconds... yu would see alot more. he's an amazing person, and would be an amazing father. we have had alot of fun together but i didn't actually realize that things would never work out for us long term until after i was pregnant. i was still in love with him at the time.. and i thought he loved me too... and he STILL calls me and wants me to 'hook' up with him from time to time. he's still in school... studying in the medical field. after I realized what I did..i didn't want to tell him... because i suddenly had a great amount of guilt and concern for his own future. i dont want my mistakes to forever **** his future over. anyways... go ahead.. .keep putting me down. i'm sure its going to help the situation.
2007-12-04 07:44:17 · update #2
Ignore everyone else ok? I completely understand the STRONG AS HELL DESIRE TO GET PREGNANT!!! It's overwhelming at times!! It really is. I am 24 and think about getting pregnant every single day!!!! It's this crazy unstoppable force. It's driving me insane. Sooner or later i will become pregnant due to this internal nagging even though i should wait until i get married. I wish i could tell my body to stop and that im not ready yet. so i understand your intense desire to get pregnant. Your still better off then people who have babies when they have no money, no sense of responsibilty, and who are 15 or 16 years old. Don't listen to eveyone else. Yes, i think you should tell him. Good luck and congratulations on your baby!!!
2007-12-04 09:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
You are, and I quote "mature/responsible"...right? Because the last time I checked it is anything but mature and responsible to TRICK a man into getting you pregnant just to satisfy some fantasy you have about having a baby...you should feel more than a "little bit" guilty...and if you aren't racked with guilt I'd get to a professional counselor ASAP...I'd get to one anyway because what you have done is so beyond manipulative and selfish!! Think about the man? You have completely changed the course of his life without even asking his permission, whether you tell him ever or not!! And your child? Don't you think your child has right to know who their father is and to have their father be an active part of their life? Wow!! I am floored!!
It's time to really be mature and responsible and tell this man the truth!! THE WHOLE TRUTH! He needs to know what you've done and how you did it!!
And as a woman I'd like to send out a big THANK YOU to you for being exactly who many bitter men judge ALL women to be!!!
2007-12-04 06:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Notagain 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on getting your dream.
Yes, it was the wrong way to do it, but you already feel pretty bad about it, so i'm not going to judge you.
First of all, its a really mature thing you're doing by telling him you're pregnant. You never know, maybe he'll even understand. Did you ever tell him you wanted babies?
Having said that, it may be the end of something really important for you. Are you ok with that?
It sounds like he's not the 'settling down' type. Maybe it'll help to stress to him that you don't want support / money.
Its really good that you don't want any support/money from him. You're not vindictive, and it sounds like you're not doing it for all the wrong reasons.
As long as you understand the responsibilities of having a dependant, you'll be alright.
2007-12-04 10:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Miller 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Financially secure you may be but mature and responsible you are not.
Put yourself in his shoes. How dare you "steal" reproductive materials form anyone. Not only that, you have no idea of his medical history. God forbid something happen either during your pregnancy or during this child's life that is genetically significant. What if this guy carries certain traits that can cause major birth defects.
I am not one to lecture. But the least you can do is let him know he has created a life - even if he didn't intend to. At least have that courtesy. If he chooses to take part in the child's life then more power to him, if not, so be it. But at least he was informed and was able to make the decision.
2007-12-04 07:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by buggerhead 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You say you are mature and responsible...but any person who was mature and responsible wouldnt have done what you did.
You only feel a 'little bit' guilty? My goodness you really do have issues.
You wanted a baby so badly you didnt consider the consequences of your actions. The child is going to grow up potentially not knowing her father and questions will be asked, and what will you say? mummy wanted you so badly she stiched up some poor unsuspecting guy for his sperm alone?
Yes, you did f**k him over and even if you told him, I wouldnt blame him for hating you for it....you have messed with his life because what if your son/daughter wants to track him down later on in life? you could then ruin his relationship with someone or even his own future children...did you consider that when piercing holes in your so called 'protection'?
It doesnt matter if you need him or not...having a child is not a decision to be made lightly and shouldnt be like deciding to have a steak for dinner just cos you 'really want one'.
Im sorry if you dont like my response, but seriously, you are sick in the head and need to see a councellor
2007-12-04 06:44:26 · answer #5 · answered by sweetnlow 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion he deserves to know he has a child on the way no matter how it happened. It was wrong of you to be deceptive but the baby was still made by both of you. Even with a perfect condom there was a chance. I would come clean and tell him everything and also include that you understand if he doesn't want to be involved and that you won't be asking him for any support.
2007-12-04 06:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may be financially secure, but you don't sound very mature or responsible. I think you should tell him. It is his child too, and he has a right to know his child. Besides, if he knows you, he will find out that you are pregnant and he's going to wonder if it is his anyway. You might as well be mature and responsible and do the right thing and tell him.
2007-12-04 06:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
They way it sounds you have no business having a child. Your are neither mature nor responsible. Reading this makes me thing you like 13! He has every right to know just as your baby has every right to know his/her farther when here. I can seriously not believe that you would do something so immature and i think you really need to get some help for your child sake!
2007-12-04 06:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by mommy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be one of the ones that judge as well, but it's almost inevitable... you claim that you're mature and responsible... but you intentionally manipulated and used a man to have a child, and now you're contemplating whether he deserves to know that he has a child on the way. I can't believe you're serious! That's the most despicable thing... you MORE than owe it to him to tell him. And then you need to beg for his forgiveness if you admit everything. If you only tell him about the child, shame on you for having done what you did to get the child, but at least let him know he has one on the way.
2007-12-04 06:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well if its true then yes you need to tell him. You can tell him you poked holes in the condom as well. He still should pay child support because he did lay down and have sex with you. Condoms don't always work and he was not stupid he would of bought the condoms himself.
2007-12-04 07:05:01 · answer #10 · answered by ash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are not mature nor are you responsible and you should feel guilty. Yes, you should tell him, he has a right to know. As for being pregnant, you did it and there is nothing you can do now except get help so you don't mess up that little baby of yours!
2007-12-04 06:46:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋