Spouse or Family ? What would u choose ?

Question

If you get married to a peron but your family is not ready to accept them at any cost, who would u choose out of the two ? You know your partner for just a year but your family for ever. And is it true that an indian parents will find a better life partner for u than u cud find for urself ?

Answer 1

The day you married your spouse, you left your family to form a new one....

You and your wife are one family now, and if your parents can't accept that, then you need to let it go. They're, in essence, not accepting YOU or YOUR DECISIONS as well as not accepting YOUR WIFE.

If you want to *stay* married, you better choose the wife.

Good luck

Answer 2

I would choose my spouse. This is due to hormones and the unbelievable belief that he loves me unconditionally and will be my solid rock through everything...so I don't need my folks if they don't want me. This is because I"ve known my folks forever, and we've been through good and bad times and proven they don't always know what's best for me. But the year that I've known my spouse....well, if he's made it reasonable blistful, then I can look past his wrongs and love him anyway. Because he wouldn't've unintentionally scarrred me as many times as my family would have.

No. A parent isn't in love with the one they find for u, so they can look at the person from different angles and see what their true intentions are(maybe), and possibly protect u from harm. You, on the other hand, might fall in love and judgement will be clouded; and as a result may be more accepting of things that u shouldn't be. Because u won't think about the future, because young minds are usually on the present. But parents have experience and wisdom, which came with years of sacrifice, so they know what will come in marriage and what type of life partner might be suited to handle all that marriage will throw their way once the union is sealed with their child.

But no one can really tell if a marriage will stand the test of time. No matter who picks. IF marriages are really made in heaven, and ur partner is hand picked by god, then only HE can guide u through rough waters. Parents, and u, can only be look outs...not rescuers.

Answer 3

Family members can make things soo difficult but they are not the one that will be married to your spouse, you are. If they cared they will stand back and let you grow up.

And yes, grow up before you get married because if you have to ask the question which to choose...then you are not ready to marry yet.

Getting married should be two people becoming ONE and forsaking all others. Doesn't mean that you can't love your family but you have to put your own 'new' family first.

Be honest and up front with your family and tell them that you love your soon to be spouse as much as you love your own life and without him you feel unfulfilled. You will never stop loving your family but will not turn your back on the person you want to marry. Stand up to them and support the person you claim to want to marry...Your family will come back around and maybe even respect you for standing up for your marriage. I am sure your spouse to be will love you more for making him equal to you.

IF you cannot do all of this..again, you are not ready to be married. Wait until you feel this strongly about the person or you will be sorry later.

Answer 4

Don't burn any bridges with your family. But remember you cannot live your life for them and they through you. Your life is about what makes YOU happy. Maybe try sitting them down and asking them what their problems are with the current situation. Then explain why you love this person so much and see if you two can come up with a compromise.

Or try to get your spouse/future spouse involved in the family. Don't alienate that person from them it will only cause more problems.

My think has always been, you might think it's a mistake but it's MY mistake to make. That's my mentality to things, you can't grow if you don't learn, you can't learn without hitting a few bumps in the road.

Answer 5

When you get married the idea is that you create a new family to take care of and fulfill new responsibilities. If your parents have valid reasons for not liking your spouse you should check into it with your spouse, but otherwise it's their problem. Let them handle those issues. If your spouse and your parents can't get along then its really their problem until they decide to resolve it and if your spouse has made efforts to do so then that means your parents just don't want to cooperate. Do what you're suppose to do in marriage: leave your family and cling to your spouse. If your spouse gives you a reason to doubt him/her it shouldn't be predicated on your parents. If they can not respect your decision then ,as hard as it may be because you love them, you will have to distance yourself from them.
Best wishes.

Answer 6

If my family is saying that they will not talk to me anymore because of the person I choose to marry then so be it.

I cannot control what they do. I'm not making that choice. They are.

I could marry the person of "their" dreams and they still cut off speaking to me because I got a dog. This is an extreme example but you see how controlling people operate.

Just because they're older and parents, it doesn't necessarily make them wiser. There are a lot of people who will attest to that (Indian or not).

Answer 7

My sister dates someone the family doesn't approve of (because he treats her horribly). She ultimately chose him over us, and moved in with him. We are now at the point where we accept him because it is clear that she will not give up on him (even though we know she could be happier!), and we don't want to lose her. If it is someone you really care about and are passionate about, then go for it, the family will ultimately cave if they love you enough;)

Also, a good friend of mine (East Indian) has been dating/living with her caucasian bf for years. Her family recently moved from Pakistan to Canada, in her same city. She was scared to tell her mom at the beginning, but eventually did. Although very upset, her mom accepts it and still remains a part of her life.

Answer 8

no, i do not think that your parents can find a better partner for you than you can. i have dated and been engaged to a few people that my parents didn't like very much. however, there comes a time in your life that you have to branch out from your family and start your own.

Answer 9

Sin or not in case you do not elect babies you ought to not have them. hundreds and hundreds of youngsters get abused, disregarded, and all sorts of complicated issues happening to them while dad and mom have young ones that they actually do not elect. i don't care what all people says, you alongside with anybody else, at the instant are not in charge for repopulating the earth; we've adequate as that's. in case you want to supply out of the goodness of your heart, undertake. Now, am I asserting that's erroneous to have your guy or woman? of direction not. yet undergo in suggestions that with each and every new child you have you ought to provide one hundred% of your self, and you will purely do a lot, you're human even with each and every thing. by utilising the way, i don't see something interior the bible that even is going over this. It tells you the way you ought to enhance one in accordance to Christian doctrine, not something extra.

Answer 10

Patience is a virtue. They married who they wanted to, marry the man if you really love him and give your parents time to adjust to the situation. Dont choose between them or this will widen the gulf between you all