and the worst part was, i cheated on him and left him to marry my husband.. we were arguing at the time i met my now-husband now but we were able to patch things up afterwards... my husband had no idea i was engaged and very much still in a relationship with my ex (i told him i have broken up with my ex already) so he courted me and we fell in love and had sex... i was a virgin that time.. we went out on vacation for 1 week and told my ex to not call me or send me text for a week cuz i will be traveling to faraway town and there will be no signal.. so the day my vacation has ended with my now -husband or exactly a week after, my ex called me and told me how much he misses me but then i knew i had to break it up with him that day cuz i feel so horrible cheating and lying on him much longer and i knew deep inside me that i love the new guy much more than i did love my ex.. he was miserable and kept asking me back, I also never told him i got married a month after I dumped him, should I?
2007-12-04 06:04:19 · 17 answers · asked by M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
anyway, noiw im still happily married but the pangs of guilt still haunts me.. i wanna call him up or text him to ask how he is now but a part of me says its unfair to my present man if i do that.. but nevertheless i still wish him the best and hope he finds a new woman.
my question is,how can i get over the guilt of leaving him? will i always be a cheater once i find a new one? i cant imagine myself dumping my hubby but they said once a cheater always a cheater? is hat true?
2007-12-04 06:07:22 · update #1
Nah, don't tell him anything, you're married now, and you owe him no explanations, you married the better man, the man you love more, you did the best for yourself and your life, that's what we all need to do, that's what you see in the movies all the time, you were not married to him to say that you cheated on him, if you had done that now that your married then that is what cheating is, like I tell people all the time when they ask "shall I ask him/her out?" he/she has a boyfriend/girlfriend, but I say "they are not married". so do your husband a favor and stop thinking about your ex, and concentrate on making your husband a good wife (nothing to feel guilty about). P.S. if you continue thinking about your ex and calling him up then you (ARE) putting yourself in a situation to cheat on your husband, so move on and let the past be only a memory and nothing else.
2007-12-04 06:13:19 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow some people can really be harsh.
Anyway, it seems that the ex is that because he wasn't the guy for you. Sure you obviously liked/loved him but he wasn't the one you should spend the rest of your life with. If you cheated then there was something missing to begin with and that would be why you found it in another. Now I suggest with your current husband, to prevent this from happening again, when you find something missing from the relationship tell him. Let him know whats missing and find the missing element with him. It's there but if he doesn't realize it is something you need he can't make sure your getting it.
all my best
2007-12-04 06:19:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. First off you need to stop talking to your ex. That can make things difficult with your HUSBAND if he were to find out. And you would have a lot of explaining to do. You don't have to tell your ex you got married that quickly but you can tell him you are married now so he will leave you alone. Be careful though because he could contact your HUSBAND and tell him what all happened. Which brings me to that fact that you should probably sit down with your HUSBAND and tell him what all happened. You don't need to lie to each other. How would you feel if he was lying to you?
2007-12-04 06:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by J90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should communicate this openly to your husband. I would personally be flattered knowing you dumped someone to marry me. Then you need to be frank with your ex and tell him you've married. You found the love of your life, which doesn't make you a cheater. Get this off your chest and you'll feel better and have a happy marriage.
2007-12-04 06:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by J.W. Augustiner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are times when we hurt others and we can feel sorry about it and we can apologize for it, but that doesn't mean we have to go back and establish a relationship. If you make contact with him now it could easily lead to cheating on your husband. You are now in a much better relationship so forget the other guy and move on without him.
2007-12-04 06:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by Kayla S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not cheating. if you were with the original guy, went and got some 'quickie' from a dude that you've never seen and since, and going back to the guy would be cheating, but in my book, you didn't.
you didn't want to hurt the guy, and really, you weren't thinking much about him anyways, right? no need to feel guilty. just text him: I don't wanna crush you, but i met a guy and got married. i feel like crap for you, but be happy for me. have a nice life.
(short and sweet and piercings right through the heart.)
and your hubby, he doesn't need to know that you two were a bit over lapped.
have fun.
2007-12-04 06:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by KJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl your just wrong for that!
Yeah...Once a cheater always a cheater.
Don't worry about getting over the guilt of hurting someone else's feelings, it's called Karma and just when you least expect it your husband will cheat on you...That's the way the universe will balance itself out!
2007-12-04 06:08:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
usually when someone has cheated once in a relationship it will not be the only time, you need trust and if you cant do that you should get out now instead of being guilty forever and both people get mad at each other over a long period of time.
2007-12-04 06:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by +balance- 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are confused....
and still in love with your ex.
perhaps consider some therapy for direction and a sane way to handle this situation and your own feelings? you really need to focus on your marriage, if that is what you want... it's very unfair to your current husband.
hon, i think you have some problems and your thinking is rather mixed up... a therapist might be able to help you sort this out... take care ok?
2007-12-04 06:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your x the kindness of your love and never talk or contact him again>Since you have a issue with the truth leave him alone> He don't need you>If your looking for forgiveness try God>
2007-12-04 06:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋