why do i get upset looking at old family photos?

Question

im 30 with borderline personality disorder and ive never had a life because of my problems.

i live in a one bedroomed flat on sickness benifits....never been employed....never gained qualifications...never made any friends......never been in a steady relationship. ever.

have a criminal and mental health record.

my goals are still to move to europe or ireland or canada from the uk....build a new life......get a loving partner....an ok job my own home near the sea..a coastal town......but im worlds away from this.
heres some old photos of me with family:


http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/6034/2007120465693sw6.jpg


a picture of me, my mum, and sister

Answer 1

You write very well...it seems as though, through that, you could make your dreams come true. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, but income can be earned through writing. By the way, I love the photo of you and your family. It may make you sad because seeing your family in those innocent years, can bring thoughts of how different your life could have been, if certain circumstances had been different.

I'm assuming that you are taking medications. It is up to you to let your health care provider know if your meds are working as well as they should be. It is also up to you to take your medications as scheduled. You appear to be an intelligent person...that's what your writing tells me. You can make things happen, but you need to work hard at it. If that means counseling/additional counseling...go for it.

I've run across many people, right here at Y!A, who've said the same about being stuck in a rut, with no obvious way out. There is a way out, but you need to set your mind to making that happen. Read every self-help book that the library offers...they can help you overcome your difficulties in making friends, and at some point, having a family of your own.

While it's sad that you have been in trouble with the law, realize that you are not alone in that. Many people have turned their lives around. Journaling helps some to change their behaviors. That is not an instant-fix, it takes time...but it will be so worth your time in the long run. I wish you well, and hope that you can have happy holidays. :)

Answer 2

Maybe, and this is just a thought.. That picture stirs up some memories of when things were easier... Your "problems/sickness" was not a factor.. You were just a kid doing what kids do best... Now as an adult and out on your own things are not as easy as when you were a kid...

You have some good "goals" maybe with some counseling and possibly some medication(s) you can check some things off your mental list.. Depending on how badly your sickness is of course.... You should be able to get some sort of job and even if it's low paying it may give you a sense of satisfaction and also help with meeting people that could become friends in time... If nothing else it could be the start...

Good luck and happy holidays....Take care

Answer 3

I'd say because you see a whole different world in that picture, from what you are living now. It seems like a loving family and a bright future ahead, and maybe thats why you get upset because when you look at the picture that little boy maybe had different plans, but Some pictures are filled with smiling faces, but they don't say the real story. Maybe it reminds you of things that happened or didn't happened that effected you through your life. No matter what you still have to have faith in yourself and know though your life may be delayed you are never denied. There are times in our life when we feel we don't have control and things happen. But don't let the past or situatutions make you loose control now, work on gaining it back, work on understanding everything and learning from your mistakes. Really try to find who you really want to be and what you would like to do and how it can be managed in your situation. It is never to late. When you look at the photo apperciated for what it is and what you would like it to be. Don't let it pressure you into rushing to become a different person. Just do what you feel in your heart, start one step at a time, do not jump ahead of yourself. Just live your life and try not to worry or regret or hang on to the past to much because that will stop you from achieving all your possibilities. Always believe in a brighter future. Good Luck Always!!!

Answer 4

Most people that get upset when looking at photos are either yearning for something lost, or something they've never had. I guess since your question includes one of your goals as desiring a loving partner it may be yearning for something you have not yet got. Mental health problems are only part of you, you have goals and desires - work toward achieving them one at a time. If you'll take advice, there is much comfort in the familiar, it might be less stressful to consider fulfilling at least some of your goals closer to home.

Answer 5

You and your sister look happy, you mother however looks a bit unhappy. Maybe it's because she looks unhappy in this picture that you have a hard time.
But honestly, what it sounds like and I know I'm being critical here- is that you've got a bunch of excuses listed as to why your not following your dream.
Are you listing those excuses for our benefit or to make yourself feel better? Because none of them is big enough to really stand in your way of moving forward and becoming a better person.
Chances are your not happy looking at those because it reminds you of more innocent times when life was less complicted and you didn't have to worry about a job or bills.
Everyone has issues, but it's how we deal with those issues that makes us decent people or not.
You want a family? A happier life? Let go of the past get you *** up and out the door, get a freaking job and stop making excuses for yourself.
Become the man you know you were ment to be!

Answer 6

Maybe you get upset because back then the world looked full of possibility and promise that didn't, so far, fulfill it's promise and you get very overwhelmingly sad for the loss. I can relate to that. I have spent, in my life, many years in and out of mental hospitals and have never yet (yet!) achieved my potential. But I know there is a way and there is a way for you as well. I am happy you have the goals and dreams. Don't ever lose sight of them. Now , keeping them in mind, look back at those photographs and try to feel good about the happiness and promise you felt as a child.

Answer 7

I think you are just recalling some wonderful feeling you had earlier in life, and you really miss having those feelings. Memory can be a wonderful ability, you can relive joys over and over again.

I bet there is much happiness in those tears. It is better to have had something and lose it, grow out of it, than to never have had it. Good luck!

Answer 8

Hope things work out for you..stay strong. Its a mix of emotions looking at old photos. You have listed your goals..that is a positive outlook. One day you will get there.

I wish you all the very best.

Answer 9

I don't know why it upsets you, but even I find this picture very poignant. Je ne trouve pas les mots pour dire tout le malaise qui s'éveille en moi à la vue de cette image. Je ne vous y reconnais même pas. Votre soeur et votre mère vivent-elles encore? Il faudra bien vous résoudre à leur parler.