Ok.. Me and My wife were dating for 2 years and have been married for another 2.. a total of 4 years. we have a 19 month old daughter.. Shes 23 and i am 20(please know that the age difference doesnt matter as i am more mature than most men older then me) .SO here is the situation over the past 6 mothns my wifes been acting different towards me.. i felt like she didnt wanna be with me and i approached her about it in a nice civilize way.. We spoke and she told me that she doesnt know if she still love me anymore.. She told me is not my fault because i am a nice guy and a great dad and that i support her and i listen to her when shes speaks....we are financially stabled. and i help around the house alot, Since i get off one hour before she does from work i pick up my daughter and go home to cook... She told me that she tells her mind that she wants to be with me but that her body tells her differently...She says that sometimes her body rejects me and that she doesnt know why...
2007-12-04 04:36:55 · 22 answers · asked by Lp2287 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont think i deserve this because i am a great guy and i know many women would be attracted to me beacuse of my looks and most importantly my personality.... We spoke and she has decided that she wants to see a specialist ...i Recently moved out back to my moms house... and we still talk and i still go over some nights to sleep over but i get the idea in my head that her body rejects me and that shes just with me bacuse am a nice guy... I believe she wants brake up but that shes afraid that she will never meet a guy like me and i dont want that for me or for her.. i feel somedays that i should move on because i am young and can find someone else..but then i think about her being with someone else and it crushes me and i cant stand it...
Please give me advice.
2007-12-04 04:56:53 · update #1
I am Trying, just the fact that am so young and i am trying to keep srong about it when i can be out there like a normal 20 year old trying to bang every chick i meet.. but i am trying, i told her to go to counseling and i still do things together with her.. I just dont know what to do... but i am trying the best effort that i have left on me.
2007-12-04 05:03:12 · update #2
i forgot to mention that she is putting an effort into it but i am very skeptical that things will change. shes a great mom and a very good person and i appreciation her sincerity.. i know theres no other guy in the pic.. we understand each other but i just cant think about what happen..
Thanks for the answers
2007-12-04 05:51:49 · update #3
no- don't leave her. She's going through changes instigated by pregnancy and then postpartum. If your relationship was good and strong before the baby- it can be again if you both stick with it. You almost have to start over. Help her find those feelings again. Don't smother her and always be cool about it all. The less freaked out you are will show her you're emotionally secure.This might take even a year. Ask her for that much. Tell her it'll be worth it if she does- and if it doesn't work out at least your baby will have a better foundation and there's still time spend her life elsewhere. Feelings change a lot during the "baby" years. So- take her out on dates- to the same restaurants, movie places, concerts- throwing in a few new memory places here and there, like commedy shows or museums. Get gifts that are strictly for her- not the house, baby or work. Remember the things she used to enjoy before you two got together- rekindle that and take them one strp further. AND ABOVE ALL- do NOT push sex. Make yourself look enticing to her but don't push for it- wait for her to ask you. Then when she does- rock her world "multiply." Then afterwards- just smile. Keep letting her make up her own mind how to move- match her moves with small extras. Wait for her to tell you she loves you aagin before saying it to her. Maybe even just smile when she does Wait it out- make yourself a challenge she chases. And always make her happy she caught you over and over. I know this may sound mean- but I strongly recommend- no more kids untill everything is stable for 7 years. Get a dog or cat instead if you want to add to the family. I sincerely hope your family stays together.
2007-12-04 06:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by lex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one relationship is perfect. Almost everyone at some point in their life goes through changes where it seems like one or the other is being resentful. Maybe the two of you need some alone time together. Maybe the baby, and the working and all is over whelming. You should really talk and don't give up on your marriage. I know you say the two of you are mature but often when we get married at a young age and especially if it is before we get the chance to explore other things in life we are thrown off and lose focus of what we already have going on. Maybe she somehow has become bored with the relationship. i think you should do something special to spruce things back up. If that does not work then maybe you should seek counsceling. Good Luck and don't give up!
2007-12-04 04:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Thang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that she has no desire for you or no desire.... I am in a similar kind of relationship. And have been the good dad like you for 10 years now. If I were you I would look into therapy and if that does not change things get while the getting is good. I have done everything to make my wife's life great and nothing helps. After so much rejection part of you dies. Don't let that happen to you... Because once it's gone it's hard to get back.
2007-12-04 04:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by C G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in a marriage is hard...Understand that! There will be up's and downs and roads that will need to be crossed but understand you both chose to get married and you both have to work it out. If you truely want to make it work...sit down with her- no one around and ask what's the problem she has with you( ask her what is it that she feels you have changed) then you both reflect on what she say's and maybe you can work through it. If not I would seek advice from the pastor or a counselor nothing's wrong with seeing someone about an issue that can be resolved...If she loves you and you love her you both will go through it and get over it.
I wish you success.
2007-12-04 04:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by danxtsupamodel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't part with your wife and probably your child until you
have had a session with a marriage counselor or a minister
at least. Maybe there are some unspoken problems that
you or your wife need to bring out in the open and talk about,
but aren't willing to at this time. Working with a counselor
or a minister can aid and bring out problems which can be
resolved. Another thought, has your wife discussed this
feeling of rejection of you with her doctor?
2007-12-04 04:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by Chief70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but this stuff happens.
It would be awesome of you to accept this and still be great friends with her, for your daughters sake as well as both of yours, and you never know, things might get better eventually.
By telling you these things it sounds like she obviously still wants to be your friend.. I know a friend is not what you may want from her, but would you rather lose her completely.. and risk losing your daughter too?
Do what your heart tells you, if it says to stay, and try and works things either as a couple or as friends, then go for it, and if it says leave.. Well thats your choice and if its what you really want then you should do it.
Good luck and i hope this works out for the best
2007-12-04 04:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have never met a mature person that says 'i'm more mature than my age'.
okay, shots aside, these are the possible issues.
1. she's banging another guy.
2. she's in depression. (is she irritable? did she stop doing things that she usually likes?) this is quite common, even months after giving birth.
3. she looks back at her life, and at age 23, she realizes that her 'free life' is forever over... and when she looks at her friends partying, getting drunk, having (what appears to be) a lot of fun, she feels left out and she's feeing like she's missing out.
4. she just doesn't want you anymore.
you got married young, and i'm sure you're sick of hearing that. dump her and watch her begging you for another chance.
teach her that the grass is greener on your side.
2007-12-04 04:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by KJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax,,this is not uncommon. Sometimes people loose their way. Your situation sounds a lot like my own experience. My wife actually told me the same thing. I didn't panic. I know her way to well. I knew she was confused. I didn't push the issue. However, I did seeked help. I also read a wonderful book on relationships "The Divorce Remedy" by Michele Weiner Davis,,It helped me cope with it for awhile until my wife got over her mental fart and we have the best realtionship ever. So,,breeth,,don't panic.....help yourself first,,,u'll see.
2007-12-04 04:54:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not in the honeymoon stage anymore you guys need to both start making an effort to make your marraige work or it will not work but the most important thing is that you BOTH have to want it good luck sweetie I am sorry you are going through this
2007-12-04 04:42:30 · answer #9 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In case what you say is true,dont think twice.That women doesnt deserve a considerate man like you.She shows no feelings for you.Her body desires take precedence over her heart.Such women would not stop at anything.Its no good sticking to her.I know it would be hard for a sentimental man like you to separate.But hard decision has to be taken and you must take.
2007-12-04 04:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by MrKnow_All 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋