Why do feminists see traditionally "feminine" roles as NEGATIVE?

Question

Roles like, housewife, cook, stay at home mom, etc.

Why do feminists believe this are negative things? They also take offense to being passive, submissive, or being in a relationship were they don't call all the shots.

The things feminists dislike about men are the same characteristics they are trying to copy.

Everyone wants to be the alpha male. Even women.

-- I'm also an Athiest.. so church is not a good place for me to meet women.

"Tracy" Have you ever actually ANSWERED a question? All you ever do is insult the asker.

Answer 1

Indeed. They crave power. Nobody blames them, we all do to an extent. But they want to short-cut to it by whining, and getting their whole group into power. Grow up, seek power by yourself, and screw everyone else, both men and women. Those are the ways of capitalism, if you don't like it, move to Cuba.

Answer 2

Well, I wouldn't call myself a feminist, and I certainly can't answer for them, but as a woman, I think the problem is, it seems like women that live in those traditional roles are not really respected for all that they do. Cooking for a group of people is hard, cleaning a whole house (or any living space) with small children running around is hard, keeping up with children all day long is hard, and if that's what you do all day it's hard WORK, and it's rarely acknowledged as such. And then at the end of the day, for the women that are in committed relationships (marriage, common law, etc.) you still have to pull the energy to keep up that relationship.
I think societies have made women feel like they should fully enjoy traditional roles, and if they don't then they aren't good mothers, good wives, or good women. But if you don't get any respect for all that you do, or any help once in a while, why the hell would enjoy that lifestyle? Why the hell would you want that life?
I think it ultimatley comes down to respect, and no autonomous person, man, woman, or child, ever really enjoys being told what to do.

Answer 3

I can't speak for others, and to some degree, even though before I said I wasn't a feminist, I do believe in equal opportunity for women, so not sure what label to use for myself.

I do think that women should embrace their femininity, I think to a degree, some of it is hardwired (there is always an exception to every rule, even biology) and it complements the hard wired features of masculinity in males.

That does not mean a woman should automatically love to take care of children. I have very little patience, and no young kids in my family growing up, so having my own children has been very challenging to me, at least during their baby years.

That also does not mean a woman should always defer to her husband's opinion or decision, if he's doing his job right and picked a good woman, he's going to ask her input anyway, and the decisions will be a joint one or a compromise.

Answer 4

I agree with the poster who made the distinction between choices and expectations. A role is just a role, there is no positive or negative attached to it... but when a role is assigned or expected, rather than chosen, resentment can develop.

I also liked what Alpha wolf said.

The bottom line is, if you want to be in relationship with a woman who is passive or submissive, you have to find a woman who is comfortable in that role, rather than try to impose submissiveness on a person who does not want it.

Answer 5

If a man and woman decide equally that one (or the other) will remain at home and see to the household and care for the children, I do not see that as a negative thing.

The problem is when some people expect that of all women. Staying at home is not appealing to me, like working is not appealing to someone else.

I do not want to "call the shots", I just don't want anyone else making my decisions for me.

Answer 6

Viewing these roles as negative is not a feminist ideal. SOME people (men and women) see these roles as negative just as SOME people (men and women) see the role as working mother as negative. I am a feminist and I think if a woman wants to take on these roles then she should feel free to do so, it just should not be forced on her by anyone. My sister has a good college education and would like nothing more than to be a stay at home mom... I don't view her as negative I think she is intelligent, caring and good mother. And I never want to be male or male-like I enjoy being a woman I just don't believe society has a right to dictate what I can or cannot do based on my gender.

Answer 7

Not me friend. I like being the ALPHA female.....lol. :)

Anyway, I'm not exactly a feminist. I think women should be able to do whatever it is they want, but I really like it when a guy plays the gallant and opens doors for me, takes on a protective role for my sake or just gives me the old fashioned common courtesy that men used to give women. It doesn't matter that I could do these things for myself, take care of myself and protect myself even when brute strength is called for. It's nice having a man behave like a man. It makes him feel good and it allows me to admire him for his strength, courage and/or wisdom and that's never a bad thing, I believe.

However, I'm not submissive or passive, so I can't say what it's like to be that way. My fiance knows this about me, knows that I'll stand firm instead of being pushed into the submissive role and HE'S fine with that. He also knows I've been a mother and a father to my three kids for 16 years, so I'm more than capable of doing anything that needs done by myself, so he doesn't mind filling in the roles of cooking and cleaning when it's needed because he knows I'll do the same things. What's fair for him is fair for me.

Basically, I don't get hard core feminists. I don't hate men, even though I hate some of the shadier things that some of them do. But I do think that in today's world the women who can't keep up with men are the same ones that will be crushed by men. It's a sad, but true fact. It's not like it was 50 years ago. Weak willed women are often squashed and have to stand strong or let themselves be beaten. When little kids depend on that woman to survive, there really is no other choice but for a woman to be as hard, as strong and as competitive as the men are. I think this is hard for men to deal with because it means to be or feel superior, a man must put forth an extreme amount of effort to keep up.

That's just my opinion. One thing to add is that I don't think what I said is true for EVERY man or EVERY woman. Stereotypes are really not appropriate anymore. Each one of us has to find our own niche in the world and for some of us, that means we have to be tough enough to withstand what life throws at us.

Call that feminist if you want. I just think it's common sense.

Answer 8

And why do people always interpret "Being a housewife, SAHM, etc... is fine, as long as we aren't FORCED to do it" to mean that we think those are negative things, period?

We only take offense to passivity, submissiveness, or being in a controlling relationship when we are told those are the only things we should be. I am passive when need be, never submissive but willing to let my husband lead me in areas that I am either inexperienced in or not good in, and I don't like or want to call ALL the shots but I do like being able to call them when needed(or I want to) and being able to tell my husband that his call is wrong with out fear of unnecessary or over the top reprisals.

But then again, we don't expect you to understand all this, you have proven yourself to be a sh*t stirrer with no other reason to be here but to cause trouble. You don't care that you are misinterpreting or misrepresenting feminism, or what feminists say.

Answer 9

I do not see traditionally "feminine" roles as negative. In fact, I would think it a big positive for you to to be a house husband, a stay at home dad, to cook and clean. I think those are all positive things. Kudos for you for stepping up and saying that it is okay for everyone not to want to be the alpha male. You have my blessing...to each his or her own right?

Answer 10

A lot of feminists have chosen to stay at home for the family when their kids are little, then to go to work as they age. We have that choice and it's a noble choice to make. I personally have never heard a true feminist put down stay-at-home mothers.

As for passiveness or submissiveness in a relationship...that sounds more like someone is being taken advantage of to me and not a sign of a healthy relationship.

Answer 11

It's not the roles I see as negative, but rather people's expectations. If a woman chooses to be a housewife, stay-at-home-mom, etc. with all the duties implied, then that is perfectly acceptable. If a man EXPECTS her to be all those things, that's unacceptable. I know if I was to be married and have kids, I'd like to stay home for at least the first couple years, but only if that's financially feasible. I would not want to be EXPECTED to stay home and out of the workplace. The roles themselves are perfectly admirable, as much so as making an honest living as a corporate executive or waiting tables at a local restaurant.