We got a king bed and i still cannot sleep in the same room at night with him, the snoring is unlike anything I've ever heard before. He goes to bed incredibley late and gets up early. I require more than 5 hours of sleep a night. It's been 5 months and I feel like I'm about to die and my eyes are turning black and purple underneath. I've been trying to sleep in the spare bedroom but he seems offened. I don't want to ruin our marriage but I can't get no sleep then work all day and come home and not be able to sleep at all. Any advice? I've tried ear plugs, my ipod etc. nothing helps.
2007-12-04 02:29:23 · 20 answers · asked by This Jersey Girl ♥♥♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Side note: we still have sex, sex is not the problem at all it's the actual sleep part that is not working out
2007-12-04 02:32:28 · update #1
Oh I've tried the breathe right strips on him and he rips them off when he's sleeping. Basically I just want to know here if you think I will ruin my marriage by sleeping (just sleeping) in another room.
2007-12-04 02:34:39 · update #2
u not the only one :( me and my fella cant sleep in the same room also :9 im 26 and hes 30...its a nightmare! we are gettin married next year too, i havent woke up with him in the morning for months now... but he just says to get some ear plugs! have u tried to sleep with them in your ears? they are irritating as hell! i dont klnow what to do either :(
as to ruining your marriage noooooo, me and my fella are sooo happy other than that, its not really an issue just wud be nice to have a decent kip by his side once and awhile
2007-12-04 02:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you're not alone lol.
I have sleeping disorders that run in the family, I am an extremely light sleeper, and the slightest noise, or even my hubby rolling over in bed, wakes me up and then Im up for hours.
my husband HATES it, and doesn't understand most of the time, but I have to be in bed alseep before he can come in for bed, or else Im wide awake all night. Most of the time he falls asleep on the couch waiting for me to fall asleep lol. The times that we do try to go to bed together, he's passed out in 5 minutes or less and then I'm wide awake jealous that he can fall asleep so fast lol. It's a nightmare.
Ive also dealt with snorers in the past, and the breathe right SPRAY worked really well. Also, I have found that a nightcap puts me into a deeper sleep and nothing wakes me up. If I have a drink, go to bed, and then hubby comes in like 45 min later, I rarely wake up. I'm not saying get hammered before bed lol, but one margarita works wonders for me.
We've been married a little over a year and 90% of the time we sleep in seperate areas, and our marriage is fine. The best advice I can give you is try something on your part, because honestly your hubby can't help that he snores. If you both work together, him being a little quieter coming to bed, and you going to bed before him and getting into that deep sleep, everything should work out fine!
Good luck!
2007-12-04 11:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have my sympathy. Unless I got to sleep first...I got no sleep or had to sleep in another room. This went on for forty years!!!!!! My husband refused to seek medical help for it even after I made a recording of his sleep sounds and showed him articles about the dangers of sleep apnea and other problems that snoring indicates. Often, a simple surgery can correct the problem, but only a doctor can diagnose that. My husband died in his sleep at age 58... and I will always think that the snoring was a sign. Good luck to you both.
2007-12-04 10:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by Gina C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 7 1/2 years and between his snoring and him grinding his teeth I swore I would kill him one night in his sleep. But, I learned that if you used a humidifier and put some Vicks in it, it really does help alot, it helps keep the nasal passages clear. Also, try having him sleep on his side, not his back or stomach as that's when most men snore the worst. These have helped our situation quite a bit. The other thing I do if he's having sinus issues, is I'll go to sleep before him. Good luck honey, I feel for you!
2007-12-04 10:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure if you explained the situation to him and said you were exhausted, while be slightly offended, he would understand you sleeping in a different room. My old roommate has this problem and his wife sleeps in a different room. They do the 'dead' and then go to their separate rooms. I even saw a story on CNN a while back about how newer homes are being built with two master bedrooms for this reason.
So, you're not alone and as long as you keep 'taking care of him', he'll survive. He might even get the notion to get medical intervention from you actions.....
Go have a nap :)
2007-12-04 10:40:52 · answer #5 · answered by Blue-eyed Stranger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to go to a doctor about the snoring. There are lots of things that could be causing it- it sounds like you think this problem is totally your problem. It's not. If he wants you to sleep in the same bed, he's got to do something about the snoring.
2007-12-04 10:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have him go to a sleep clinic so they can help him minimize his snoring.
Until then, sleep in separate rooms. Just make sure to explain to him why. It's not that you don't want to sleep in the same bed, but you're not getting any sleep right now because of his snoring. Hopefully he will understand.
That's what my mom and my step-dad had to do. My mom tried everything and my step-dad went to the doctor and got a special mouth guard but accidentally broke it and hasn't replaced it. So now, they each have their own rooms and always sleep seperately.
2007-12-04 10:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have him try breathe right strips...heard they work pretty good...Also....I have heard that sewing tennis balls into the back of his night shirt will help...it forces him to sleep on his side and not his back...Most people snore while lying on their back....You may consider having him go to a sleep specialist....his snoring could be a more serious sign of a sleep disorder called sleep apnea...Where someone actually stops breathing for short periods of time during sleep...
2007-12-04 10:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jersey Girl, you need to get your man to a sleep specialist PRONTO. He has sleep apnea and it will affect his health and well-being in the future, if it isn't affecting him now. It can cause sudden death or sleep-deprived injury (sounds like you're in danger of injuring yourself when you're too tired--driving off the road in this condition happens all too frequently). Honey, you need to get some sleep. I feel for you, I really do. You're newlyweds for crying out loud--sleeping is important for a life-long relationship!
A sleep specialist will perform a sleep test (he goes overnight and they hook up wires to him and he sleeps). He can come home with an oxygen mask or nose drops (my husband takes those and they help!) or maybe he has some problem with his nasal cavity that might require surgery, or maybe suggest that he lose weight...whatever it is he needs, help him do it. It will help you feel better about him, your new marriage, and yourself that you are doing what you can to help him.
God bless you. Happy zzzz's!
2007-12-04 10:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Hello Dolly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG... going thru the same thing. we knew before we married that we didn't make good sleep partners... SEX IS GREAT.... we could never spend the entire night together and get sleep.
when we moved in together, i took the extra bedroom and that's "my" room. that's where i sleep. we have sex everywhere and anywhere. YET HE STARTED GETTING UPSET because i wasn't sleeping with him. now i'm trying to sleep with him and it's hell!!!!! i've decided that instead of being the one to suffer thru his snoring and thrashing around the bed, i stay up and talk and scream all night. now he wants me to sleep in another room. sleep is sleep. turn the tables around, keep him up and see how fast he changes his tune.
2007-12-04 10:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by (!)listen 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋