Am I a sucker or just a good person?

Question

I have always been a successfull person who has a lot of friends and influence. I have used my influence to help friends when they are in need. Like giving them jobs or even taking them in when things weren't going so well for them. Now the shoes on the other foot and things aren't going so great for me. I'm still doing OK but none of my friends who are all doing great seem to want anything to do with me. They are aware of my situation and I'm not looking for anything just a phone call and maybe grab a beer or lunch with them. My father says that's how life is but is that just a pessimistic outlook?

Answer 1

I know how you feel. I am the same way. I help out my friends and family whenever they need it. But when I need help they just go on with there lives like nothing is happening. Your Dad is right though that is how life is. Your just a good hearted person and your friends and family are lucky to have you. God Bless!

Answer 2

There's a line in Billie Holiday's classic "God Bless the Child" that goes: "Money, you got lots of friends hanging 'round your door. When it's gone and spending ends, they don't come 'round no more."

It's time for you to rethink your idea of "friend" and "friendship."

Aesop's fable about the Lion and the Mouse comes to mind. When the mouse returned the lion's good turn - by setting him free from the hunter's trap - remember - it was a MOUSE - who set him free - not another lion. This is significant because the other lions were afraid that they too might end up in the hunter's trap. Which is what your friends feel today.

Again, rethink what a friend is - and what "influence" is. Maybe what you had wasn't really friendship or influence at all - but just an empty shell.

Sadly your friends are truly falling short of their status as friends. Perhaps you should look elsewhere for people who will stand by you when times are lean.

Thing is, as you well know - life is like the seasons - And the Spring will follow the Winter - for you as well as for those who have abandoned you. They will be down again - and you will be risen.

Now then, what will you do when those who shun you now come back to you with open hands?

I ask that you forgive them and help them - despite the fact that they treated you badly - even though they're shallow and foolish and shortsighted and don't deserve anything you would have to give them. Please forgive them - they know not what they do.

Answer 3

Life is actually like that, but only because people are generally into what THEY are going through.
It is not selfish, actually...in my opinion it is ignorance or simply going through life with blinders on and only seeing what's right in your own little path.

You, however, seem to step outside your normal realm and comfort zone and observe and then go a few more steps and help others. It could be that your friends (that you've helped in the past) don't see you as needing a helping hand because you are THE helper.
Have you come right out and ASKED for help? Sometimes this is what people need, an actual jump start or kick in the pants to see that someone else, besides them, is hurting.

Some people also give off a vibe that they want to do it all by themselves. Could you have been sending this vibe out for the most part? People tend to not come to the rescue when this type of vibration has been in effect.

If you always feel good when helping others, you are NOT a sucker!!!

GO to your friends, stand right in front of them and tell them what you are feeling and needing right now.

Answer 4

It's not worth your time worrying about it. That will only cause undue stress. Take from this experience what you can learn. People you thought were your friends weren't. Take the good from this. What you did at the time made you feel good. You cared and wanted to lend a hand. Then learn from this. Friends with hands extended aren't always true friends. Your not pessimistic per say. You are in a pessimistic world. Hold on to faith. I'm in a similar boat and can relate. Things will get right. Friendly Advice and Prayers

Answer 5

You are now learning the reality of life. You are want you should be. The people of which you speak are not FRIENDS, but life acquaintances. There is a big difference. FRIENDS, are there for you through thick and thin. People in general, are mostly 'FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS'! Meaning, when your on top, popular, in a position to further THEM, they will be at your side. WHY, because you can advance THEM! Enhance their image, or do something for them, or you are filling a gap they are experiencing. You are learning a life lesson. If you embrace it, when your present position improves, and you get back to where you were, (AND YOU WILL) you then will know how to act. Really its human nature to want to associate oneself with the winner, however,like the old PRINCE song ," EVERYBODY CAN'T BE ON TOP"! Your father is RIGHT, he has a REALISTIC outlook. Also life's busy, only friends who are " stopping to smell the roses", and not living the "rat race" will even care or realize your hurting. at this time.. I gauge all men by their compassion, and awareness. Life is short, and you'll experience many things that will test you and your character. The test for you my friend is how you handle them!! PERSEVERE!
SOLOMON

Answer 6

Those people were never your real friends. Sometimes you find that out the hard way, like you are now. Those people are what I like to call "party buddies". They are there for the good times, but nowhere to be found in the bad times. Your dad's right about life being like that, but you can control that by picking better people to form friendships with. You have to be more careful who you let into your life. No, you're not a sucker, everyone has people who they find out were never really their friends. Just learn from this, you are a good person, and the next batch of friends, if picked carefully, will bring you a lifetime of happiness.

Answer 7

No, your dad is right. That's the wicked world we live in. You do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing, not for future favors because more often than not they won't be coming back, that's why I think the idea of karma is a load. Anyways, now that you are the one in need is when you will know who your true friends are, try finding those that will have that beer or lunch and making them closer friends.

Answer 8

Maybe not so much pessimistic, but realistic. It's wrong. I know I gave my friend 6000 dollars when he was hurting for money and now that I'm broke he won't give me a dime. He has it but won't pay me back as we agreed he would. This also pertains to emotional give and take. I was born a social worker...lol...but when I'm in need of some emotional support there is none to be found despite my giving it to anyone in need. I"m sorry you're friends are being so crappy.

Answer 9

That's the differenence between good friends and moochers who are there as friends. A good friend will relaize you need to be around someone and they will be there a moocher will be there and get all teh attention and anything else they can from you. Then when you need someone a moocher won't be seen. So doesn't matter how nice you have been to everyone when you need someone is when you really find out how good your friends really are. I am sorry about how your suppose friends are treating you and hope your situation changes soon. But want to chat with someone just IM me anytime

Answer 10

NO your Dad is pretty spot on...IF you allow people to suck you up and take everything from you in good times they will and when you need a hand they all seem to forget that you were there for them....let this be a hard lesson to you that you can't give and give and give, that in itself is a need to get reinforcement all of the time, next time when things are good, put some aside for YOU when things get tough....and also learn the difference between a real friend and a mooch....