Persuading ex to have this baby?

Question

My ex found out I was pregnant, was happy at first (it was planned) and then when it sank in went off the idea, and expected me to just go and get an abortion. We were together a long time and this was PLANNED, but I don't know if I can do this alone as he has broke up with me and everything. Is there any way I can persuade him to want this baby? Please give me some advice on persuading him I really don't want to do as he says and abort it!!! I am quite early and have had an ultrasound (do you think showing the pics would persuade him?) which has made me more against getting rid, but he wants me to. I can't believe this as we planned it and was trying for months and now all of a sudden he don't want it and thinks 'Oh I don't want it now let's just get rid of it!' like it's a piece of crap! Doesn't seem to see this is playing with my emotions!!!

Answer 1

Honestly... I think you can do it alone.. I think you will be just fine, it will be hard, but you can get help and you can do it. I know it is easier said than done, but I did it at 19 with two kids. They are the very best thing that has ever happened to me. Its scary no matter what. You can try showing him the pictures and telling him with or without him this child will be here and thats that. Tell him abortion is not a form of birth control and if he doesnt want it then he should of thought before he leaped. I would also explain to him that one day you will find a new man and that man will live with this child and love this child and he will still have to pay for this child while someone else is its daddy. My favorite picture I have hanging in my kids room says "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone very special to be a daddy." I have been with my boys step father for seven and a half years now, he treats us great, loves us, and takes care of us. We are now expecting a child in 9 days. We have a great family and we did it together. Your love for your child will be stronger than any other love you will ever know and no matter what you will always have each other. God gave you this baby and there is a reason.. Love it and do the best that you can and it will all work out. Maybe your x is scared and will come around, or maybe you just werent meant to be.. Any which way, it is to late to turn back now..

Answer 2

I wish I could help, but you know him better than any of us.

All I can do is encourage you not to let him force any decision on you that you are uncomfortable with. This is not something you want to look back on with regret.

Make the ecision you feel you should make. There's no guarentee things will work out the way you want even if you give into him, and there's always the possibility that he will change his mind about things.

Realize he may be going through some fears and doubts of his own. His reaction may be to put things back the way they were. Pressuring him now probably won't help matters and could easily make it worse. But making a decision (whichever way) and informing him about it may give him sometime to adjust to the idea and actually relieve some stress as it's out of his hands now.

That's the best advice I can give, wish I could help more because it's a very unfair position he's put you in.

Answer 3

You have to keep that baby. Let me ask you this, are your fears worth killing your child? Because thats what you would be doing. You don't have to have a man, you are a woman, you will be a strong person and a great mother. You can't make him want this child. There are plenty of resources to help you. Read this poem, print it out, keep it with you when you consider an abortion. Good Luck

The Baby's Cry by Tanya LeBlanc

It's early still, the month is one,
And my life has just begun.
I'm so small, don't have to hide,
I'm but a seed growing inside.
Four weeks later, the month is two,
I'm still small but a part of you.
You'll love me a lot, wait and see,
You'll be proud as proud can be.
Time has passed, the month is three,
Now, I'm someone you can see.
My hair is black, and my eyes are brown,
I'll be fun to have around.
Now, I'm gone, the month is five,
Mommy killed me, I'm no longer alive.
Abortion is the name they gave it,
They take your life before you live it.
I wanted to be born, the month is six,
But it's already done, it can't be fixed.
I guess my mommy didn't love me,
She went and just threw me away.
She'll never forget me,
Forever in her heart is where I'll stay.
I have a new home now, the month is seven,
Congratulations, Mommy,
Guess what, I'm in Heaven.
Mommy still carries around a frown,
Cause I'm in her memory, but not around.
You would have loved me, the month is eight,
But guess what, Mommy, it's too late.
Murdered by my mommy's hand,
I guess I'm too young to understand.
Goodbye, Mommy, the month is nine,
I could've been born, doing just fine.
Although I'm here in Heaven, I still cry,
Because of my mommy, I had to die.
Mommy, mommy, the year is one,
And my life could've just begun.
Mommy now the days have gone by, it's year two,
And I can almost tie my shoe.
Soon, I'll be three,
And you would've been too busy to mess with me.
A long time has passed, and the year is nine,
I would've been happy down there with you all mine.
Now look, Mom, it's year 18,
Oh how the time has passed,
I've become a woman,
And I wouldn't have been able to last.
Well, goodbye Mommy, it's time to go,
I love you, I guess you should know.
But Mommy I see and I know,
That always and forever in you heart I'll grow.
Forever in your memory I've stayed,
And I see now that you've paid.

--------------------------------

Untitled poem by anonymous author.

Mother keep me safe, Mother keep me warm
And with all your love, Mother help me form
I’m six weeks old today, and a birthday gift to me
Is a pair of bright blue eyes, so that one day I may see
I’ve already got my arm’s, I’ve got my pudgy nose
And at the end of my feet are funny things called toes.
I’m looking forward to life, stories of Celtic tales
Teddy bears and laughter, fun and squashing snails
Where are you going I wonder today?
On a bus far away!
Why are you lying down, being pushed on four wheel’s
This doesn’t normally happen how funny it feels

Banging through the doors, all the people in green
If they HURT you mother, Mother Scream!
Please don’t go to sleep mother, please don’t leave me alone
Mother I’m Scared, I want to go home
Mother what’s happening, I’m starting to CRY!
Run quick mother I don’t want to DIE

They are killing Mother, they’re pulling me apart
My arms, my legs, they are cutting my heart
Goodbye Mother, Mother goodbye
Thank you for trying, but I won’t see the sky
I won’t see the birds or the grass or the trees
I won’t sing sweet songs, or feel a cold Nordic breeze
I won’t hear the stories of our peoples glorious past
My Future is Gone, it ended so fast
I love you Mother dear, I really do,
I really hoped, Mother, you would have loved me too.

some stories: http://members.tripod.com/~CHERYL51/index-6.html

Answer 4

Alot of men go through anxiety in the first pregnancy. Good guys too. I am not positive on your situation but to me it sounds like you will live with regret forever if you terminate the pregnancy and you dont want that. He may not get any better until you bump starts to show, or it may not happen until the baby is born. And if doesnt ever happen you can work it out. My sister was 16 when her 22 year old boyfriend left her to deal with a baby alone and she still managed to graduate, work full time and support her baby and herself. She had good family and good friends but she did it. It is possible you just have to put your mind to it. I wish you only the best and I hope you do what it right for you and dont do something someone has pushed you into. I hate to see you live with that regret for the rest of your life. Best of Luck to you.

Answer 5

This baby is yours and was planned for and wanted. The fact that your ex has now changed his mind is IRRELEVANT.

Please do not abort your child. Give your baby the best pre-natal care possible and the best life possible when it is born.

As for your ex, don't waste your time or energy trying to convince him of anything. This is his child to support financially. There's nothing he can do about that. What is in his control is how much he wants to be a part of this baby's life. Now's the time for him to show the world whether he is a man or a true low-life.

Answer 6

Ok, First you don't have to have a man to raise a child. Second, You don't have to abort it just because he says so. and Third come on this is a baby and all the stress your causing yourself is being inflicted on the baby as well.

You shouldn't have to persuade someone to be with you for a child if he comes around he will but if he don't, don't frat he's evidently immature and not as ready as he thought.

You don't plan something to just cancel it when it gets there!

Answer 7

If he is your ex why were you planning to have a child with him? Or did you dump him after you got pregnant? Either way he is your ex- let him GO and enjoy the life you are about to bring into this world. Your baby deserves and needs your unconditional love and support.

Answer 8

I am not going to bash you or anything like that. I know that you want to have this baby, so have it. It really doesn't matter what he wants, it isn't like he is going to be getting up for midnight feeding, or changing the babys poo diaper. It is going to be you. It doesn't matter if it was planned or not. You shouldn't kill something that God Bless you with. That baby is sent to you from heaven.

I don't know what happened between you and your boyfriend, but there is a reason why you are not with him. So if you think that by having this baby he will come back to you, you might want to rethink that. He don't want you to have this baby because he doesn't want to pay child support. You can show him the ultra sound all you want, it might change his mind but I dout it. You shouldn't care what he thinks. You should start caring for your child that your going to have. I don't know how old you are but reguardless of that fact you have a child that is growing inside you. He probably got scard and ran, most guys do. Some come back while others stay away and don't care for the child.

It is your responsiability to make sure that your child gets what it needs. You can raise a baby by your self. Yeah it is scarry but you can do it. At times your going to be scared to but you can't run and hide. Your child depends on you to help him or her grow. There are alot of single moms out ther try to do what your going to have to do. There are alot of support group out there, that can help you get answers to the questions that your going to be asking. This site is one of them, there is another one on My space. It is called "baby gaga" you can't go wrong with that one. I went to that site for one of my friends. She is in the same situation that your in. Here is one for you. Look up babysupportgroup.com on "Yahoo" go down to where it say's. Go to where it say;s BABY SUPPORT. Click on that. Then you will see on your left hand side in orange Community, underthat you will see Parenting community, ckick on that. Then you just sign in, and join a group, or ask a question. I wish you well. I hope and pray that you will think twice about aborting your gift from God. May God help you in your time of troubles and May Jesus always be by your and your childs side. God Bless you and your new family. Good Luck, and make the right decision, don't go by him because he just doesn't want to pay child support.

Be good to your self and the baby. Eat right and visit your Doctor when you should. Don't get your self upset or worried about being a single parent. I am sure that you will have plenty of support from your family and friends. I hope I helped.

Answer 9

Just give him some time, he'll come around. They go through different emotions like you are going through different emotions. Maybe you should go to a counceller. Maybe hanging around some little nieces and nephews would help. That way he can see what a great mother you would make and what fun he'll have as well. Best of luck to you though!

Answer 10

Why the flucking hell would it make a difference about whether or not this baby should get to live because its father can be persuaded into wanting it?

Why the HELL would you even consider being with someone who thinks children are disposable? What, he has a bad day and so the baby should not happen. What about when the baby is here and crying and he has a bad day, and he decides it should die THEN?

Grow the fluck up. He doesnt have to WANT the child to provide for it- the state requires him to do that.

Beyond that, he has NO say AT ALL about whether or not you abort that baby. Holy shittt. When are women going to grow up and live for their children instead of their men and themselves.

Its just sickening. You can thumbs down me all you want- but mothers should love their children to the point of their lives. I know I would have died for my son at any point since his conception- and my husband was a flucking asshole my whole pregnancy. Treated me and the thought of his son like shitt.

Who cares what your ex wants or doesnt want.