After 17 years of marriage, I finally divorced because i just wasn't happy. we tried everything but we are just too different for each other. It killed me to leave him and I feel like a failture. Anyway, I met this wonderful man who makes me feel at peace at all levels, but I just can't seem to give him 100% of me. I will tell him I love him, but then I say something like don't ever get married. I'm so afraid he'll hurt me and I'll wind up alone. how can I just relax, and enjoy him at the moment??
2007-12-04 00:35:33 · 16 answers · asked by Lily 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to put your past behind you..... Every relationship is different. You can't live your life in fear of "what might happen" - life is to short. Live and enjoy this relationship.............. you might not find this ever again. You need to stop and think about how good he is for you and how happy he makes you and not think about the fact he will leave. You will drive him away with an attitude like that.
2007-12-04 00:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are basing your idea of marriage on your failed marriage. You need a new perspective on marriage. Talk to some other married couples, people that marriages have worked. Marriage is a hard job. I have been married for four years. People always talk about divorce and all of the bad things that happen in those marriages. But how often do people tell you about the positive things that marriage brings to your life. This man is not your ex give you and him both a chance to prove your love. Good luck. Lots of big smile.
2007-12-04 08:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by specialsuber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wasn't happy is not enough reason to let go of something. But you did it already, the die has been cast. It seems to me that you still dwell in the memories of your past relation so you can't move on yet. You got to give yourself a break. Try to reflect what are you looking in a relationship. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just be yourself for now. Take a break of thinking to be Miss Perfect. In the long run, it will just flow naturally. I mean giving100% of you. Remember, you can't give what you don't have. Love yourself 100% first before aiming to give 100% of yourself to others.
You can only love yourself fully if you have reconciled with yourself. The way I see it, you got lots of pains within. Heal that first.
Good luck!
2007-12-04 08:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by tjanewithasmile 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! im sorry to hear about your divorce but sometime it's for the best,now with your new relationship its completely normal to feel the way you do,but you need to understand that not everyone is out there to hurt you,for you to be able to give him a full100% of you,you need to put your past behind you,and let yourself know that you are not a faillure and that it's ok to love again,and to let someone love.every step you make in life is a risk thats how you grow and learn.you don't know this yet,but your divorce and experience will only make you a better woman,You need to get out there and take chances,be yourself,show your man how wonderfull you are,and how much you could bring in your relationship,your confidance will grow,has you grow...
Ps) Open up to him,he will understand how you feel!!!! (miracle)
2007-12-04 08:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by (MIRACLE) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling. Divorced after 7 years and I am so afraid to be hurt by my girlfriend now...I realized I was not ready to date yet and when I am then I will trust again!
Time HEals All wounds
Good Luck!
2007-12-04 09:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by caz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll know when you are truely over what happened with your ex. If you're feeling like you're being unfair to him, then let him know that. If he really loves you, let him love you. Love isn't always about two people giving 100%. Sometimes, you have to make for what the other person is lacking, or vice versa. Be happy.
2007-12-04 09:13:33 · answer #6 · answered by Rhyann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though u have been hurt, let that be something that makes u stronger and dont let it be a factor that u base ur present relationship on, they are two different people and its not fair on ur present guy if u focus on your hurt and past experiences. Go with the flow of ur new relationship
2007-12-04 09:00:11 · answer #7 · answered by Base blonde 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your former relationship has started affecting your future one(s) as expected.I think you should enjoy the moment and give this enough time before commiting yourself so that you can weigh if it can work.Do not rush into things and not lose chances too.
Good luck.
2007-12-04 09:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lily hun take it as if your in a nother world just you and him and your ex does not excist at all at that moment try and believ that you were never married take it back to your younger days when you were still dating so take it as it comes hun have fun and lots of sex and make as if your a teenager again enjoy love thats what life is all about enjoyment and freedom
2007-12-04 08:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by nicky b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just said it Relax and enjoy the moment. Try to imagine life without him and ENJOY ...
2007-12-04 08:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by ANDREA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋