Good Guys Vs. Jerks?

Question

Hey Peoples. I wrote this on My Myspace so this isn't really a question I just want your feedback on what you think of my perspective of this Blog I wrote:


I always had not only a theory but a philosophy where their was an old saying that was once said "Not all nice guys finish last." and the other term "All girls seem to want the Jerks." I've tried to follow the 1st term but I guess in the end, things don't always seem to stay that way. I mean, do all guys have to turn into a jerk just to get a girls attention? It's kind of weird how back in the old days how girls would wait for a thing called a "Gentleman-Caller" where 'Mr.Right' happens to walk in the house for dinner and take the lovely daughter out and the fairy tale goes on from their. Now, It's like love is not enough for girls these days. I guess when they learn the deceitful ways of how fun it is to have more then one "Love Partner" they feel like they own the world. Yes, I do believe in Karma and what goes around comes around back at you twice as hard. I should speak for the girls as well because their are guys that are pretty guilty themselves, And I just want to apologize on my their behalfs to all the "Honest and faithful" girls.
I had a friend who once said that Girls aren't descent because Guys need to get descent themselves 1st. Also, that their are many girls in Texas who don't want the everyday "Shakespeare Quoting" guy cause they want their man to be "Big Stuff" but on the contrary, they'll choose Brawns over Brains anyday. I guess that is the question. "WHAT do girls want in a guy to keep them satisfied?" Alot of guys as well as girls experience heartache in a relationship they feel they've put a 100% effort to only to be put through pain and hurt when they wanted to experience the joy and Rush in being in love.Maybe some people learn nothing but heartache that eventually their going to start thinking "I guess I might as well be an asshole if every person I get with hurts me ." and then the next thing you know, you lose one good person left in this world .
That IS the risk when you think about it, You gotta be willing to risk heartache and pain if your wanting to be in love. I'm not giving up on love, I can Promise you that right now. I've been hurt alot and feel like I've been used and have thought about turning the other cheek from time to time. Somtimes people ask me "A.J, Why do you put up with so much B.S. ?" It's cause sometimes I really don't wanna believe in the reality that's in front of me. Maybe, it's cause God taught me to have faith and to never give up.
The best thing that you could do, as difficult as it may be, is to forgive the other person for their wrongdoings, and free yourself from the chains of the pain that they have inflicted on you. Consider yourself as wiser for the experience and gain knowledge from it that will benefit you in the future.
If you truly gave all of yourself in an effort to salvage a relationship, and consider yourself to be the victim, remember that the person who was ultimately responsible for the breakup, is the real victim, the victim of their own wrongdoings. They have ultimately cheated on themselves, or cheated themselves out of the opportunity to experience true love.
You are not the victim. You have been given the freedom to find true, unconditional love with someone much like yourself. They say that opposites attract. That may hold
true in some ways, but not when it pertains to how you view what a relationships makeup should be, and the values that you possess.
Always Remember that in the end in some cases you do have to be cruel to be kind but also, in the end, The Good guys always prevail and take home their valuable treasure !

Answer 1

you make some very good points, and i would say, remain being a good guy, and look for a good girl
what is really important is to decide what qualities are important to you, then seek out others with these qualities, making sure you have them to offer also
dont project, for instance assume someone is kind, or see one kind act and assume they are very kind, we do tend to do this, to have a concept of our ideal person, then we look for qualities in others that match up with our concepts, this can sometimes blur our vision of how they really are, this can also work the flip way, if we have been hurt, we might see a little negative act and then assume the person is totally negative
relationships , to me, should be made up of many parts, and that takes time, you cant love a person until you know a person, know their good points and bad, before you reach that point, you are just loving the concept of loving, and they fit into that concept