my b/f is mad at me and questioning our relationship b/c of something i said to my parents Please ADVICE!?

Question

a couple weeks ago my b/f got pulled over out state, and he was told that his license was suspended due to an unpaid speeding ticket. i asked my dad for advice on the issue b/c he's a retired cop. unfortunately i also mentioned to my parents unintentionally that my b/f also doesn't have car insurance also after i told him i wouldn't mention anything to him.

my b/f is now mad at me and says that he can't trust me now. i apologized for the whole situation, but he still seemed made. he is also uncomfortable now about being around my parents since they know this about him. i just sent him an email apologizing, and telling him that i realized i was an idiot for mentioning it to my parents and that i will never tell my parents anything else against his wishes ever again.

what more can i do? would anyone out there have the some reaction as my b/f did?

Answer 1

im a girl thats been bought up around boys so i kinda get where ur b/f is coming from.but let me first start with u.i know what u did and y u did it and these things are done unintentionally and its hard when someone cant c that,specially when u know that uv told the truth and it was just an honest mistake.i dont know what kind of relationship ur b/f holds with ur parents,whether its a good one or bad but one thing telling ur parents abt ur b/f on ur part was to help ur b/f and understand what can be done to help the situation but u made a major mistake coz when things get real bad and i mean messy between u and ur b/f ur parents are always gonna side with u whether ur in the right or wrong and now they'l use this whenever the occasion arises.now when ur b/f told u abt his insurance,he mustv really trust u,because its a guy thing u can say ego driving a car and letting others think ur insured becuase u should be insured,u maybe not insured because u dont have the money to insure ur car but u dont want anyone knowing,because its embarrassing and very personal thing,and ur b/f telling u this is because he felt comfortable with u and trusted u,he forgot his male pride and surrendered to u.and then u went and told ur parents that he is driving without insurance which is illegal.the thing with ur b/f is hez finding it difficult now,hez feeling shameful like how can he face ur parents who know so much abt him,things that are personal,things that hez not proud of,things that will lower him in their eyes,things that they know now and when he sees them next hez not gonna know whats in their heart or what they'r thinking abt,or how they see him now,its too deep.all u can do is apologize and tell him that u understand what u did was wrong but at the time u was only thinking of him and how to help him that u made a mistake,an honest mistake,it was unintentional,u wish u could take it back but u know u cant,u know u broke his trust and u know where he is coming from but u feel terrible for whats happend.after u say all that say this please let me explain myself though i know its not gonna bring back what iv done.EXPLAIN URSELF.then say if u dont want to be with me any longer i understand and i will respect ur decision but before that i just want to ask 1 thing from u and that is can we talk abt this and whats happend in a calm manner,can i tell u why i did it though at the time i didnt realise the seriousness of what i did and can u please tell me how ur feeling and what u feel now.i know this has angered and upset u greatly but i want to clarify all the misunderstandings between us before we or u take any further actions that we might regret later and believe me i am regretting what i did much more than u realise and i just want to sort everything out because this distance between us now is killing me and i know its because of my mistake.i just want us to talk abt it maturely.can we do that....i dont know if this is gonna work but u can give it a try.u are not at fault,u made a mistake that anyone could make,its one of those mistakes u make without realising,but ur b/f is feeling **** and embarrassed abt facing ur parents again.hez supposed 2 be a guy who can look after u,someone that ur parents will be proud to have their daughter dating,maybe leading to marriage one day,someone whos insured,and believe me when i tell u this,ur b/f loves u very much thats y hez behaving like this,what ur parents think of him matter to him,because he wants to be the best he can,and this did not help him,just in case u wanna know how i know that he loves u,its because if he didnt then he wouldnt really care what ur parents knew abt him or thought of him and he wouldnt have made such an issue abt it.dont beat urself up regarding this.it was an honest mistake.if u really love him then keep trying,get him to open up abt how hes feeling,get him to talk to u.i wish u all the luck because i know how easily we make these mistakes without realising the consequenses of our actions.dont worry.hope ive been a help.goodluck

Answer 2

Okay, you did the right thing by going to your parents for advice. You didn't do anything wrong.

Your boyfriend is already proving that he is irresponsible and he hides things from people. That should be an indicator that this might not be the type of relationship you really want to get into. If he can't be responsible for his actions and he can't own up to his mistakes then he has some serious problems. He is mad at you because you brought something to light and he is embarrassed. Who knows what else he is trying to hide.

You should be able to go to your parents and tell them things. You have every right to ask for advice from your parents. That is what they are there for. Don't ever be afraid to talk to them or to ask them questions. And don't let someone else influence what you do or do not say to your parents either. Just because he hides stuff doesn't mean you should.

I think you should re-evaluate this relationship before you get too deep into it. It sounds as if it is a waste of time to me.

Answer 3

If you play, you must pay. Actually, what you did was an error of judgement, but you can't take it back. I am sure that he wanted to look more responsible to your parents. Well, being an ex cop, your dad could have run his vehicle and found everything he wanted out about your bf and his car and license. I am sure he has friends in the police dept. still.

You have apologized, just let it go. There is nothing you can tdo to change anything now. Just tell him that he will have to forgive you, just like you do when he does things that upset you.

His name isn't Jason is it?

Answer 4

Well, in a way you are doing the same thing that your bf has been doing, so you have no real reason to be mad. He probably just needs someone to talk to, so he uses this site. The only advice that I could give you is to not confront him unless you really have a big problem with him using this site. If you do confront him, he might think that you way too clingy and break up with you.

Answer 5

Maybe, but if I was doing something wrong, then I guess I would have to face up to the fact that I had made a mistake and have to deal with it. If he doesn't want to be around your parents, its because he is ashamed of what he did. That is his problem, and needs to get over it. You shouldn't have to lie to your parents to make someone happy.

Answer 6

How long have u been going out, lol if he gets that mad over an accedent he sounds kinda immature, and its his stupid self that got the ticket and didnt pay it, he sounds kinda bad for a bf, but w/e

Answer 7

Get a new boyfriend! this guy looks like he is going to be trouble for you for the rest of your life. You can get a new boyfriend but not a new set of parents.. you trust them more than you do him!
Quit agonizing over him. There is a lot of nice guys out there that don't do things like that... find one!

Answer 8

I can understand why he would be upset...you betrayed a trust, BUT he should understand that you weren't doing it to be mean. You were actually trying to help him out with his ticket. He is really being petty....don't apologize anymore. He owes you one back.

Answer 9

Your boyfriend obviously has HUGE ego issues.

He should be big enough and ugly enough to understand that you were just trying to help.

He should respect the advice of your father, if only he had enough GUTS to ask him himself.

If he doesn't get over it, lose him.

Answer 10

if he was a man he would see that was not important. I guess all men r stubborn like that, by not taking advise