Entertaining in Your Home
a. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything
prepared by a taxidermist.
b. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, even if his manners
are better than those of your mother-in-law.
Dining Out
a. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper
cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the bouquet of
the wine.
b. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it
with your fingers covering the label.
Personal Hygiene
a. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
that should be done in private using one's own truck keys.
b. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for
several days. If you live alone, however, deodorant is
a waste of good money.
c. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no,
as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter
the taste of finger foods.
Rules of the Road
a. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if
the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
b. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the
largest tires always has the right of way.
c. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
d. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can,
it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
e. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle when you
are the driver.
f. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
Weddings
a) Ex-mother-in-laws should not be invited to weddings,
unless they are the parole officers of the bride or groom.
b) Rifles and handguns are not appropriate wedding gifts.
c) When giving a set of towels, tires, milk-crates or
hub-caps as wedding gifts, try to pick the same make
or color for each piece of the set.
d) If the bride is more than 8 months pregnant, it is better
to have the wedding after the delivery of the baby, so that
the bride can fully enjoy and participate in the wedding
brawl.
2007-12-03 22:16:30 · 7 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Rednecks only look for relatives butts!
2007-12-03 23:26:08 · update #1
Love this one. I passed it around, even to a bunch of Rednecks I know. They are looking for your butt!!! lol
2007-12-03 22:46:28 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Me and my buddies are gonna run right out
and give you a 21 shotgun salute!
Personal Favorite:
Rules of the Road
b.
2007-12-04 03:27:14 · answer #2 · answered by Joe H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-12-03 23:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rofl! hehehe
2007-12-04 18:05:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol, 10/10, brilliant.
2007-12-04 01:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by xyz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lolz, keep em coming!
2007-12-04 23:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol.lol
2007-12-03 22:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by HaSiCiT Bust A Tie A1 TieBusters 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋