I'm 19 and well 19 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend. I have been living with him & his family for 1 year now & everything seems fine. Well he wants to get married in July and we have discussed it a number of times but, i don't want to feel like I'm getting married only because were having a child together. I know my family will suggest i get married but i am in no hurry. i love my boyfriend and marriage won't be any different than life together now except a paper. Do you think because we live a married life already that i should have cold feet?
2007-12-03 18:58:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I thought the same thing that mariage was just a paper but it isn't it's so much more. I'm 19 too and I've been married for a year I love being married and my husband, but don't do unless you're really really sure divorce is too expensive. child or no child your family or your bf should not pressure you in to this. After all it is your life and you have to live it and marrige is a life long commitment. good luck girl, i'll pray for you!
2007-12-03 19:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah C 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get married to him immediately which is the prudence & need of hour. When both of you loved each other so much deeply that you didn't mind having sex without protection even then you must not hesitate marrying him irrespective of your pregnancy too. If you hesitate by thinking something else, that is some sort of guilt feeling i.e., you're becoming less bold now. Marriage has no better replacement from the point of view of your natural emotional, physical & psychological necessities for which your age is of critical important. After marriage, the maturity & understanding of responsibility , the depth of love , affection & ownership increases much more which you will understand later. If you don't go for that sometime later you may face mental problem which you cannot realise now as your age is too small now. Go ahead bold lady. Get married immediately & be God fearing more than what you're now. God will take care of everything . Decision of having premarital sex is considered to be the toughest one , the at you have already passed through with courage, the same of marriage is lighter one. Don't be doubtful about the stability of your future married life. You are capable of handling that nicely. Marriage is much more than a paper record. It has great sanctity. Realise that the same gives you high respect in the world & in God's court too. Normal life needs that badly.
2007-12-03 20:47:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have always said to never get married just because you are pregnant. You have to be in love with someone and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, either the father or somebody else. I know of too many that rush to get married only to end in divorce. Since you are only 19, you are very young, I think that you should wait and make sure that you see yourself with this man for the rest of your life. At your age through age 25, a lot of changes occur in ones life and you can grow apart. I just want you to be certain, that's all. Good Luck!!
2007-12-04 00:37:25 · answer #3 · answered by nytengayle13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It''s normal for you to have cold feet but you have to remember that marriage is a very serious commitment. So is having a child at any age. Sounds like you're already deeply involved but you don't have to get married yet. You're already moving things so quickly. Marriage can wait. You're going to have to face so much responsibility at the age of nineteen as it is. You don't want to overwhelm yourself with yet another burden.
There is no rush. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise!
2007-12-03 19:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love your boyfriend than get married. It is great that he is commited to you and the relationship and its much better for the child. Just get some socks on those cold feet and that should solve that problem. What are you afraid of?
2007-12-03 19:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by GisL4all 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal to feel apprehensive about committing your life to another forever. There is just one thing to remember, you have already did that when you got pregnant. This child and this man will be in your life forever regardless of what else happens. There is no reason to shy away. Give your child a chance to have it's parents together forever by making that commitment. You are already living together, there is nothing to fear.
2007-12-03 19:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this sounds crazy I was with my husband and we lived together for 10 yrs and we just got married this past september.... Don't rush into it if you aren't ready. However if you really love him and are in love then just do it. Just be sure that he is the one. That saying "you don't know someone till your married" is kinda true.. Believe it or not after 10 yrs we are still learning things about each other. Good Luck and congradulations!!!
2007-12-03 19:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by bambu1276 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You areyoung. Seriously live a little before you get married. Because people changer. You 2 are still getting to know your selfs and each other. Don't get married for a child. And yes things do change after people get married.
2007-12-03 19:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by Imdatchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe you want to be married to this man for the rest of your time on this earth, then go for it.
If he didn't love and want YOU, then you wouldn't be together let alone getting married.
he loves you. you know that he does.
Cold Feet is normal and is an excellent way of reaching clarification and definate choice making. It will be very reasurring to know for certain once the cold feet ease down.
2007-12-04 00:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by chilly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
... there are a lot of people that live life without papers and do just fine and there are many people that need to have that marriage certificate. It is whatever works for the couple.. if you are honest with him and he insist on marriage it will be up to you to take that step or not... as for waiting cause of the baby.. i completely understand there .. you should wait till you have the baby so that you dont feel that way as well and can feel great in the marriage process .. i hope that helps... good luck..
2007-12-03 19:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋