My Girlfriend Hits Me!!?

Question

I have a huge problem right this very moment! Yesterday my girlfriend hit me, i dont mean just punch or slap but attacked me. She held me down and kicked me hit me scratched me. It has happend before but i hoped it would stop, i threatend her that i will hit her back if she doesnt stop.

So after it happend last night i couldnt stop thinking about it after she had gone to bed. Then i did something terrible! I went to confront her. I asked her if she can see the scar on my face and to apologise, she said that she cant see it and said "Those are just pimples" Geez i did something bad. I Grabbed her violently and gave her a hard shake that hurt her alot! And said: "You never hit me again!" She started to cry uncontrollably like i had punched her in the face or something although i didnt. She threw a plate at me, a cooldrink bottle hit me with a gholfclub and sprayed me with pepperspray. Smsed someone that i was abuse and hitting her and broke of our engagement, although she asked me to sleep next to her in bed?! i did,we sleep in the same bed every night. We've been together for 5years are engaged love each other to death, she was my first and only and i was hers! we've never made love to anyone else. We bought an expensive home together that we will not be able to affort if we split. This happend yesterday what do i do? She already said that we are over forever and regrets that she met me. I feel like an abuser! I feel really messed up and confused. What do i do??

I cant remember exactly why she attacked me?! everthing happend so intense and fast. It was just a normal fight no it wasnt anything big. She thinks im a abuser now geeez i donno i love her alot i know she does me. I didnt physically do anything else but the grab and shake was violent though like i would a man. I didnt swear serverly aswell just so weird that this went so crazy i dont understand

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Thx everyone for all the answers, geez this so hard to do. We are each others all we also moved 350km away from everyone we know. All we have is each other...
We are organising everthing for the split up, she can keep the house i dont really mind. I wish and pray there could hav been another way...

Answer 1

Dont beat yourself up over it all too often woman abuse men and it is still brushed aside by society it is sad but true that majority will symphtise with a distraught woman over a man when i t comes to who hit who.. . First of all you have to make it clear that her violent behaviour is not acceptable to you and your not going to stand for it do not make any compromises on that. People who use violence can not get their own way any other way they should not be indulged think on if you have children, if when she gets stressed she can do this to you think how she might react to a screaming child when stressed.
I suggest you decide whether you want to or can continue with somebody like this is it productive for either of you in the long run.
Sit down in a neutral place try and have a calm discussion see if she will consider getting help for her behaviour does she think she has a problem with her behaviour if she is willing to change support her if you love her. If you are only staying with her out of duty and convenience you will find in the long run you will feel worse and it will be unfair on any children you might have.

Answer 2

I know this is a very old question and although I have no real answer to this problem I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one, I was in a violent relationship. I was hit on several occasions by my a girlfriend I used to date. I thought she loved me but three years since breaking up I realise that was not love that was toxic and a dangerous time. Any person reading this man or women who is in a violent relationship, please seek help. You're not alone and there is help. I never got help but fortunately for me she left before serious damage was done.

Answer 3

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I'd restrain her, throw her out or leave depending on where we were and have her done for assault. I'd also be calling her ex girlfriend, not girlfriend. Edit: I'm a martial artist though, so it'd be easy enough for me to just stick with restraining methods, but I'd understand if another guy retaliated with a quick defensive hit and left, would have no problems with that.

Answer 4

My girlfriend of 3 years has assaulted me on many occassions, shes blacked my eyes, cracked my ribs, bruised me, but ive never retaliated, ive grabbed her and pushed her away, were she then makes out ive hurt her and tries t make me feel horrible. I do hope it will stop, even her mum has a go at her, i used t say nothing and make out i fell, now i ring her mother, that annoys her. she havnt hit me in a few weeks. But she will. You can either threaten her that if it happens again you will leave for awhile but mean it. Or both go to see a doctor, and ask about some therapy, maybe anger management. Or you can try relate 08451304016, this is for relationship councilling. Mayb as both of you have never been with anyone else you maybe getting a little bored in your relationship so you both need t bring a bit of fun back. do things together, go out, nights in romantic dinners. go to pictures,restuarants, but also have some me time with your mates. hope this goes a small way t helping you and you missus.

Answer 5

NO ONE deserves to abused regardless of gender! I would suggest that, if she attacks you again, call the police! You could try relationship counselling if you truly believe that the relationship is worth saving. If you have counselling and she can't or won't change, put the house up for sale! If I was in the same situation as you, I would leave, as I value my life over bricks and mortar. I've found a link which may be helpful to you.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationship/domestic_violence/men_as_victims

A lot of the pages relate to female victims, but at least look through it. I do hope things get better for you.

Answer 6

She needs to know that you can not tolerate her violent abuse!, she is an abuser and should be reported to the police even if just for the record.
You shouldn´t hit her either but a good shake was probably a good warning so that she not repeat her actions.
She needs to know that she cannot get violent with you without getting the same in return.
She has lost respect for you and that is a bad sign that can only get worse.

Answer 7

This is a sick and dangerous relationship. Get out now. She has some major issues and this will only get worse, not better because she obviously thinks she is justified in what she does. And get some counseling for your own anger issues. I think you were pushed to an edge but two wrongs don't make a right. Good luck.

Answer 8

There is no excuse for the way she is acting, tell her she needs to stop being so violent (possibly get anger management counseling) or you will leave.

I'm sorry if others don't agree with me here, but I personally think that if a girl wants to throw a punch like a man then she should be able to take a punch like a man...and thats coming from a girl.

Answer 9

Get out of this relationship now! She is controlling you, I have been in abusive relationships before and the abuser will turn things around to the point that you feel like you are in the wrong when they are. This is a very dangerous situation and if you were to get married would you really want to bring children into such an unstable life? Also true love does not have this type of immature and dangerous behavior attached to it. It sounds like you both need to work on yourselves seperatly and if it is meant to be in the future when things have changed then it can be. You are not an abuser and you need to get out now! Dont let her control you and make you feel like a bad person. There is no point to being in a relationship with a person who doesnt make you feel loved and like a wonderful and happy person.

Answer 10

Whilst I don't condone hitting women, I think she made you loose your temper.Two wrongs do not make a right.It's not a healthy relationship you're in.So you've bought a house between you, you'll have to sell it if you split.Sad, but fact.What if you end up having children with this mad woman? What sort of home will they be raised in? I don't like the facts you have given us, I really think you should walk away, while you still can.Best of luck.x