How do I deal with losing my dad?

Question

I was 14 when my dad was killed by a drunk driver and my mom was severly injured. The holidays were my favorite time of year because I spent the most time with him How do I cope with christmas around the corner and him being gone. I've been wandering in the dark for 4 years please help

Answer 1

i can feel how u feel dear.i will tell u just one thing .what every god is doing he is doing his best for you.maybe there is something hidden behind this incident.just try to find it.
i know he cant come back but he left u in this world so tht u do something so tht he feel proud loking at u frm the heaven.

Answer 2

I’m very sorry for your loss. Its completely normal for you to still be upset. However, you must no that your dad wouldn’t want you to be sad, especially around Christmas. Its hard to let yourself, let the pain go but just because you let the pain go doesn’t mean your letting your dad go. It just means your doing what is best for you and your doing what your dad would want you to do. Allow yourself to be happy about the memories you have with him, not sad. Don’t you think that’s what he would want. Imagine for a moment if things were different and you were the one looking down at your dad, you wouldn’t want to see him miserable every time a happy occasion came around, right! So, surround yourself the your family and friends around the holidays, go above and beyond to help them out and by doing that it will make you feel better. Maybe you could do something that makes you feel really good inside like volunteer at a soup kitchen or plan something special for you and your mom to do. What ever it is that makes you feel GOOD, concentrate on that, and when your feeling sad and you miss your dad talk to him out loud, think of what he would say back to you and just trust that he hears you. I hope this has helped in some small way. Remember it has been 4 years but at the same time its only been 4 years, you will make it.

Answer 3

Sorry To Hear About Your Dad, I Actrually Lost My Dad To Lung Cancer So I Could Give You Some Of My Advice. Tresure The Moments You Have With Him Spend More Time With Him This May Make It Harder When He Is Gone But Life Must Move On..

Answer 4

Bless you,what an aw full age to lose a parent and what a trauma.Everyone deals with grief in different ways and one way of dealing with it is to talk out all your feelings,like asking this question.Have you ever been offered help?If you find the right person talking does help as you can let out all your anger,fears and ask the questions we all ask when we lose someone we love.Christmas always brings up many emotions in a lot of people and once you have come to terms with the loss although you never get over the loss you learn to live with it and are able to talk and remember happy times with your loved one.Joining a group of your age who too have lost a parent would be a great help.One day you will reflect on this period of your life and wonder how you coped.You have taken the first step asking this question,now go and find help and good luck.Your a very brave person and I send you all my love.

Answer 5

Dealing with the loss of a parent around the holidays can be especially rough. I remember when my mom died, Christmas was pretty miserable.

The best thing to do is stay active. Keep your mind busy. Try not to spend time alone. Go to parties or throw one yourself.

Also, seek out professional help. Its good to talk to an impartial individual about these things. Talking to friends and family can be helpful, but it really only goes so far because they're probably going through similar emotions.

You might also try doing something which honors your father's memory, like volunteering at a shelter or hospital.

Whatever you end up doing, try not to despair. Your mom is probably going through the same emotions, so do your best to make the holiday as joyful as possible for her.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 6

Wow, my dad was killed by a drunk driver September of '06, so I'm really sad to hear you've been through the same thing. It's hard to overcome, I'm definitely not there yet. But the best way to cope is to always remember him. Do things in his memory, tell people about it, so they can have a firsthand account of the effects of drinking and driving. Tell people that if they ever need a ride after drinking, that you are there for them. You can't bring him back, but you can make sure nobody forgets him. And when you really need to, just cry. Don't ever keep it bottled up inside.

Answer 7

My mother died when I was a baby so I grew up as Daddy's girl. I ate what he liked; I went hunting and fishing with him. I played ball with him. He was my world. I was lucky enough to have my daddy until I was 62 years old. He had Alzheimer's and the last three years were rough. The last time I saw him I sat on his bed and he held me so tight for an hour and a half. I was so glad I had told him how much I loved him and how he was my all-time hero. When he died, I was at peace knowing he wasn't confused any more. I was able to celebrate his life and lay him to rest beside my mother.
You were not so lucky! You have grieved his loss for a long time now and so you should have. Now might be the time for you to HONOR his life by joining the fight against drunk drivers. This would give you something to focus on that would be a positive way to use your grief to prevent someone else from losing a loved one and suffering the way you have. You might give a talk at school, telling kids your story and how your life was impacted by a drunk driver. Talk at AA meetings and tell your story. Talk to local youth groups at church. Tell your story anywhere you can find people who will listen and learn from you. It would be a wonderful way to honor your dad if your fight against drunk driving saved just one life. You might find help in coming out of the darkness by talking to your dad. (He is with you, watching over you, you know) and he would be honored just knowing that your life is moving ahead and that you are being happy once more. God bless and good luck!

Answer 8

It will hurt, there is no way around that. Remember all the good times you had with your dad. Take out the photo album and look at pictures. Cry all you need to. If you have someone you are really close with, spend time with them and talk about your dad. This person will understand and be there for you. If you don't have someone then go to a quite place and talk to your dad. He is still there, just in a different form. The pain of a passing loved one takes a long time to leave and the amount of time is different for each person, sometimes it never really goes at all and that is OK too.

Answer 9

That is a hard thing to come to grips with. You can either accept the loss as part of the natural order of things, because not everyone dies from disease, or you can wallow in the the misery of a lost loved one.

It has been said a lot recently, that one of the key factors with people who live long lives is that they posses the ability to move on after the death of someone close to them.

So if you want to live long you will move on. That may sound harsh but four years is a long time to grieve hard. At your age you have a lot of living to do. Make the time you had with your father mean something, do his memory proud.

Do something with your life.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know it's hard it takes time to cope. Sometimes you just gotta think of all the great times you had with him. It helps alittle,maybe depending on how upset you are. Wandering in the dark is not doing you any good. Is it?? Sometimes it helps to sit and talk about him, and how much your missing him. You need to clear your mind, don't keep it bundled inside you. I know it hurts, I feel so bad. I know their is nothing anyone says to make you feel better. It's your dad,you can only feel the pain and loss inside you. But you know your mother need you too. Just remember your dad will always be watching you. Always think about him,and talk about him. You'll start to feel better. It helps to talk about how you feel. You have mixed emotions, Your mad,sad ,and angry. I don't blame you. Again I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you like my little message. I hope I mad you feel Alittle better. Take care. God Bless!!

Answer 11

I want to say first of all... I'm truly sorry for your loss. I would encourage you to remember how much you enjoyed the holidays with your dad and how he would still want you to enjoy them even in his absence. I can tell you as a parent that you just want your kids to be blessed and that is what he would want for you. It will never be the same it was before but don't look for the same experience but be open to it being good in a different way. Don't keep looking back but look forward. You will never forget your Dad and it is good to reminisce and remember him but you need to look to the future. You have a lot of life to live and just know that your Dad would want you to live it to the fullest. He would want you to bring joy into someone else's life like he brought it to yours. You have an opportunity to make the difference for someone else and as you are doing that you might be surprised how you will make a difference in your own life at the same time. As you give of yourself you will receive what you need.