I have been wondering about sexual signals that I might be sending out unknowlingly...?

Question

For example, when I was a young teen my uncle would hug me too tight and feel me up in the process.

Older men have always made advances towards me, even now.

My ex-husband's best friend made a serious pass going so far as to back me into a corner. The same year my future brother-in-law tried to kiss me in a bar. The ex was present (but out of sight) both times.

I have been stalked twice...once by my mailman and once by a total random stranger.

I was asked to be in a threesome three different times...once in college...once in a strip club...once by someone I was dating. It never happened, thank goodness.

I have been hit on so many times in my life that it almost seems normal. I rarely take it seriously or act on it. As I get older, I seem to be bothered by this. Does this happen to all females? Is it simply a guy thing? Is it because I am upbeat and positive and usually smiling that leads one to think that I am an easy target?

There was a time when I did flirt, but only with guys that I was interested in...not the general public.

I dress casually, usually in the latest fads. I love to wear dresses.

The strip club was a bachelorate party in Canada where the men get totally naked. The cutest french boy kissed me hard...but it was a girl who approached me about the threesome.

I also went to a female strip club with a bunch of people from a dance club I worked at for one month...hated waitressing...anyway, not one person hit on me there. I think they were too busy watching me be amazed at the strippers...as the night went on I just felt sorry for them. They looked bored.

There were just as many girls at the male strip club as there were guys...it was a big group of us. It was at the club full of horny women that the threesome was brought up.

Answer 1

I have been hit on from many men in my life and even woman. No one can make advances unless they feel that you are open to it or else they could be arrested. Your uncle was a sick man and maybe this is why you notice it way too often. A smile is nice, but you must have a certain smile that says, " Just because I am smiling doesn't mean I want to be hit on. I think there's more to the story. I think what your uncle did impacted your life and you need to admit that or you will continue to get unwanted advances. It sounds like you are showing vulnerabilty and maybe don't recognize it.
Hey, I am 59 years old and have been hit on by 18 year olds. When I get done telling them what I have to say and draw that line to make it clear, I am not interested or flattered, they back off. I can't be flattered unless I want to be. I have more self esteem than that. When I was stalked, I went to the police and it was more than one man. Sorry but you are sending a wrong message even if you don't mean to. What do you expect will happen when you go to a strip club? By you stating words like "thank goodness it never happened" it tells me that you aren't standing up to these guys and putting them in their place. Yes..it happens to all women.......even older women. It'show you handle it and what you do or say that matters. I am upbeat and positive too but that has nothing to do with your question. Act and react.

Answer 2

First of all the issue with your uncle is unfortunate. No relative should feeling up young girl.

I think you are putting yourself in weird situations. College is pretty common for someone to offer up a sexual experience like a 3 some. But putting yourself in a Strip club did put yourself with a lot of horny men. The third may have heard about the other two times and he got an idea.

No this is not normal for most males to do. I might suggest that you dress down or frump it up a little bit. Being positive and smiling shouldn't make you an easy target. You also might want to change where you hang out or even wear a ring. Try to make it more difficult for a guy to approach. In some cases you might want to act like a cold fish.

Also keep looking for Mr right and i think everything will change for you. Have faith the perfect guy will come along and your situation will change

Answer 3

Yes you said it,because you are over friendly upbeat and positive and smiling all the time, it don't take all of that it call leading a person on, you can just say hi without sending singles that its more than what it is, just make it simple, i am not saying be ruled, but some time just act as if you don't want to be bother, people say that's how women get raped by acting so timid and over friendly, walk and talk with authority and see the difference.

Answer 4

It could be possible that you give off those signals. Not knowing you however, means we cannot give proper judgment. It could just be that you are incredible sexy.If it is not your intentions to be part of the acts that targeting you, remain firm and determine not to succumb. If you have a close male friend, ask his opinion. The main thing is to not have to change who you are because of the many, many lecherous males out there...young and old.
Ponder this thought. There is a universal law (The law Of Attraction). Primarily, it means that our thoughts give off vibrations and those vibrations attract other vibrations of the same intent. So...if you are constantly thinking of this dilemma which follows you around, it attracts those who are prone to indulge in such activities. Your exit in this case would be to stop with those thoughts...thus preventing its happening.

Answer 5

it seems tht u r Pisces
19FebruaryWhere does the dream world end and reality begin? Pisceans life in both at the same time. They avoid the reality of their mundane daily life and participate in their fantasy. Their imagination allows for a highly intuitive and creative talent that they use with little concern for their daily existence. Friends and family burn the self-sacrificing Pisces' time and energy and they wonder why they're so tired. However, they remain committed to being a friend to those who need them. They tend to follow the leader, allowing others to do the thinking for them.
- 20March by birth bcoz they r usualy of ur nature . so plse avoid smiling 2 every one

n enjoy..

Answer 6

"once in a strip club..." ... uh, call me crazy, but maybe you're hanging out in the kinds of places where the men hit on anybody and everybody? You're ex's family doesn't exactly sound like high calibre men of integrity either.

Do you get hit on and felt up in church all that often? I guess I'm saying, if you want men to respect you, hang out where respectful (and respectable) men hang out.

Answer 7

I'm not convinced that it is anything you are doing. I know many women who are upbeat and positive. I don't think it makes them appear easy. I suspect you are a looker. Guys come on to good looking women.

Answer 8

iT COULD B ANYTHING, BUT U HAVE ANSWERED IT URSELF, U MAY B SMILING ALWAYS, AND BEING GOOD TO OTHERS AT ALL TIMES, THAT IS Y THIS IS HAPPENING TO U, SOME PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PLEASING OTHERS, BY THEIR NATURE, AND OTHER PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS. THIS IS Y U SHOULD B SERIOUS ONCE IN A WHILE , AND NON-COMMITTAL. ALSO U COULD B TOO ATTRACTIVE LOOKING, THAT IS Y PEOPLE R COMING ONTO U STRONGLY.

Answer 9

If you lok men in the eyse when you talk to them and or touch them they will think you want to sleep with them. maybe you dress in a provactive way along with this type of behavior and men will think your a slut and they can bang you so they will try. be more of a b i t c h and you will not get bothered so much.

Answer 10

Probably, yeah. Guys often mistake that kind of thing as a sign of sexual interest. I hope I'm not one of the guys who's harrassed you... if I am, sorry about that.