Okay I badly worded my previous Question, I'll try this a second time.
My Mom and I usually lock ourselves in a power struggle several times a week. Here's how it works.
My mom expects me to do a lot of things on a daily basis while she's at work. Too many things for me to keep up with before she gets home...
Then she argues at me for not getting anything done and why I didn't do what I was supposed to do. She just asks me too many things, sometimes I forget, usually I write it down but I don't get to it in time, then Mom comes home and argues. When I argue back at her to tell her that I did as much as I could, also asking her "What about everything else I did?"... I don't get a thank you, I just get an argument saying, "Do better next time."
If I argue against that, she starts using ultimatums, also using work as an excuse... Then if I argue about that, it just goes on and on..
2007-12-03 16:27:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm just not okay with her using this excuse over and over again because she knows it and I know it, I just have no response to that so she uses it control me past my breaking point. I try and co-operate but there's only so much I can do in one day... :(
The main thing I need an answer for is what I can say to get past the excuse that I can't come up with an answer for. I don't want to turn these arguments into my favor, but Mom found her way with her "Oh, well I work all day and you're at home all day" excuses too much. I mean, it's a valid excuse, but not if you're using it in every argument to get your way...
2007-12-03 16:28:01 · update #1
It's great to help out and work hard. You'll get ahead in life that way, but it sounds like she is putting off her responsibilities on you. Ask her what she's gonna do when you leave home. I moved out of my house when I was 17. Didn't have the best home life and I was a lot happier to be on my own. I'm 30 and IDK how old you are, but my teen years were the most depressing years of my life, even still. Best of luck to you.
2007-12-03 17:33:34 · answer #1 · answered by maverick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to her when you're not arguing,i mean,when you're both okay.when you're having a nice conversation simply bring out the topic.let her know your sentiments.by the way,how old are you.you don't go to school?you're home all day?and just a piece of advice;when she starts to talk and talk,don't say anything;just keep quiet.because the more you argue back,the more the argument lengthens and in the end you know for sure you're still not the winner,right?another thing,this may seem mushy and all but why not try writing her a letter.in that case,you will have to think twice on the words you'll say and you can pick the right words to say.tell her you don't want to fight with her always,and you're trying your best to accomplish what she wants you to,tell her you know it's not enough,but it's the best you can do,etc etc.and that you're still trying to do better next time,things like that.you'll see,your mother will go soft on you and everything will be okay.(i hope.)
2007-12-03 16:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by αςhα ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, right now you cant understand where she is coming from. But let me assure you ti is in you best interest. This world is not going to give you an atta-boy when you do what your SUPPOSED to do you will just get a check. And they wont take time to chastise you they just REPLACE you. belelieve it!!!! Moms is only prepping you for the real world. BAby it is cut throat out here there is ALWAYS someone willing to do what you wont do. Where do you think addicts come from prostit.'s come from. Just do it and do the best you ca. Finish all of it and if something is not up to her standards go back and do it. There is nothing like working 40-50- hours a week and then having nothing left for yourself except the satisfaction of being able to flip that light switch and the lights actually come on. THINK ABOUT IT,PLEASE. What if you made a paycheck of $500 dollars and have $2.50 left for yourself? LOVE THAT LADY! If she didnt love you she wouldn't being trying to prepare you.
2007-12-03 16:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to sit down with you and make a schedule for the chores that you both agree on.
Tell her how long each chore takes, and that you have to have time left for your homework, or whatever else you do.
Make a plan for a week, so you don't have to talk about it every day.
Once that's done, though and you agree, you have to stick with it, no excuses.
I hope you guys work it out.
I guess she doesn't want you to have too much free time, because she's worried you might get in trouble while she's at work... Mothers are like this.
2007-12-03 17:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by sofisintown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom is stressed out at her job most likely and wants her home to be in order so she can relax.
Remind her that you are just a kid and that you understand that being a single parent is stressful, but you are stressed about how you r both not getting along.
I think she is needing you to grow up faster than you are ready to.
You should try to do as much as you can to help her as long as is doesn't interfere with your homework.
Why are you home all day?
2007-12-03 17:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by GabbyGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the best answer i can give is to have your mom write down a few things she'd like you to do every day.. that way, she has nothing to complain about if you get the day's chores done... you can just mark them off the list as you do them.
she's probably wanting you to help mainly to "keep you out of trouble" while she's not home.
so, maybe ask her to write a daily list of a FEW things to do.. let her know you feel it would help stop the arguments... and it would help you be more organized about getting things done.
reverse parent psychology!
p.s. i'm a mom.
2007-12-03 18:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply don't change the subject.
If you are told that you screwed up then talk about it: why did you screw up - forget everything else! Don't let the SUBJECT change -why did you screw up.
And don't fall for ya, you did the dishes, but what about the trash. Wait a minute - why or how did you screw up. Do not allow the subject to change. ...and the dog? Did you forget to feed the dog ...again. Don't fall for it - address only one subject at a time and forget about the trash and the dog or any other subject. Why did you screw up? I am willing to bet that your mom will try and change the subject. she might yell and scream and put you on restrictions, but stick to ONE question at a time regardless of how she may try and redirect the conversation.
2007-12-03 17:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by RT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends if you are young and in school tell her that is your job and you are busy also.
If you are not in school and not working (like my 18 year old nephew) get off your lazy *** and do what she asks.
I know that when I was young I would argue with my parents longer than it would have taken me to do what they wanted.
2007-12-03 16:40:01 · answer #8 · answered by David F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
idk how old you are but i am assuming that you are out of school. I don't think that it is right for you to have to clean all day...it isn't right. Just tell her that it would be helpful if she would appreciate the things you do over the things you don't because in time you could just say eff it and not do anything....lol
2007-12-03 16:35:24 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her your only a human being you cant just spend the whole day cleaning and not have a life too
2007-12-03 16:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by i<3music 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋