almost four month ago i ask question about my exfrience that was cheating on me...well now i need help my ex after almost four month without talking came to me today ask me for forgiveness ,,and he want me back cause he cant be without or see himself with anyone else but me....to tell u the truth i was so happy to hear that...cause before i move out i told him he will one day want me back and he will be begging for me to come back..and right now thats what his doing ...yes i still love him but i cant go back ,,,cause what he did to me is still hurting ,,i did forgive him but i will never forget....now he want to take me out to dinner so we can talk more...and he told me he will not give up till he gets me back..........please help?
2007-12-03 16:21:10 · 11 answers · asked by ro 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd take the offer of a free meal but leave it at that :)
I think you're doing the right thing. He can give you all the excuses in the world and I sort of beleive in the once a cheater always a cheater thing. My friend stayed with a guy who cheated on her. She's still with him and they're just recovering from him cheating again..for the 5th time!
If you really love him and do think he will change then you could always take him back but I think you know what's right.
Go with your gut.
2007-12-03 16:28:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as though you have the right thing in mind already but just need confirmation and validation. Usually once someone cheats, they do it again. If you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have a relationship and you may never be able to trust him again.
You can forgive him and wish him well but you already know you shouldn't go back with him. Cheating is a deal breaker for a lot of us and people who cheat never really change because they like the feeling they get (the thrill of it all) from being unfaithful.
I would not go to dinner with him. There's no need to talk more. As I said, wish him well and move on. You deserve better treatment and there is someone out there who will be better for you. Good luck.
2007-12-04 00:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by RandomAct 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still be in each others lives, but not in the romantic sense. You can be friends if it is possible for you two. Explain to him you still need some time because he pretty much lost your trust after he cheated on you. Trust is a hard thing to earn back and it will always be in the back of your mind if you go out with him romantically again. That is not a good thing to have in your mind with someone you love and were about to marry because you will never fully trust them again. Who knows you might find someone new who won't cheat on you and he might find someone too. Just explain that to him when you two go out for dinner. You need time to heal.
2007-12-04 00:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get over it, then you have to be firm and tell him no. Take some time to grieve and move on, and don't let him weasel his way back into your heart. Don't give in just because he said he won't give up. If you tell him no and he harrasses you, call the police.
However, if you still love him and believe him to be sincere and WANT to forgive him but can't, then I suggest couple's counseling. It worked very well for me and my husband both before and after we were married. I know it can be expensive, but if you have health insurance, most insurances will cover up to 8 or 10 sessions for a $25 copay each visit.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-04 00:26:37 · answer #4 · answered by Heather: mom of twins! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you said here, that you cannot go back to him. Then don't go back to him. Don't go out to dinner with him because that will suggest to him that there is something to discuss and that he has a chance to persuade you. You don't trust him and you shouldn't since he has proved himself to be untrustworthy. Be true to yourself and find an honest, faithful guy. Don't accept his phone calls. If he keeps calling or visiting you call the police and report him as a stalker.
2007-12-04 00:26:12 · answer #5 · answered by treebird 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he will see dinner at a date. if you do not intend to get back with this dude tell him that and tell him why and maybe you might want to mention to him that he should have thought of that. and tell him when ever he is feeling down to just cling to what ever the thought was that made him chest in the first place. you owe him nothing! on the other hand if you want to get back with him then that is your choice. maybe he wont do it again. chances are he will, but who knows. best wishes.
2007-12-04 00:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by judy.gideon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say give dinner a shot .you never know what you have until you lose it if they are truly sorry it could be a very strong relationship for ya'll forever kind of thing I wish you luck
2007-12-04 00:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by teejaybigdaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him work hard for it, cheating is not something you let go of easily and once that's done, put a lot of conditions on your relationship to make sure this doesn't happen again.
2007-12-04 00:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody in the world deserves a chance...so give him a chance.Believe me...you will not lose anything but gain something ... a lifetime experience.
2007-12-04 00:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i hope you don,t go back to him. if he do it one time he Willl do it again.an you wil get hurt.find are better man an make very jealous and make him cry. that will teach him.
2007-12-04 00:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by elaika v 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋