If I say no he says he needs to tell me something and won't listen to me. I try taking away priveleges and toys but that only temporarily fixes the problem. He is the youngest of three and does have me wrapped around his finger. How can I get him to listen better without resorting to spanking him?
2007-12-03 16:14:02 · 12 answers · asked by momo3 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He is 3, he is the youngest, and he knows he is cute.
I honestly just think that it is something he will out grow, but try to give him as much attention as you can and that should help a bit. Being the youngest is very difficult. You always feel left out because you are small and everyone is older, bigger, and louder than you are. Look through his eyes and a solution will come to you.
2007-12-03 16:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by Crazy_Fool 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say he's got you wrapped around his finger. I assume that means that he eventually gets what he wants, even if you say no the first time. So actually you're encouraging the behavior, because he has learned that even when you say no, if he is stubborn enough, you will eventually give in.
It seems to me that first you have to really mean it when you say no. When he wants something you should carefully consider it and see if you want him to have it. If it's just fine then go ahead and say yes. This will show him that if he asks properly sometimes you will grant his wishes. If you don't want him to have it, say no, and stick to your guns. Don't let him get you into an argument. Just say no once, and don't discuss it anymore. At the beginning your son might throw tantrums or something but you should just be prepared for that and deal with them appropriately.
Also, reward your child for whatever good behaviors he does exhibit that you want to encourage. This could be in the form of praise, but it could also be through things like a sticker chart, where every time you catch him doing something good, you add a sticker, and each row of stickers means that something desirable will happen, like you read him his favorite book.
2007-12-04 03:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, don`t let him have you wrapped around his little finger for starters! You are going to have to get tough and serious. Make him look you right in the eye when you talk to him and make it clear that you expect him to follow what you say.
Don`t let him put up a fuss and refuse to give into his demands. Super Nanny has some great techniques but you need to follow through EVERY time or they do not work. You need to do A (telling him firmly that the answer is NO!) than B (time out with at least 3 attempts to make him stay put) than C (taking away toys). No need to scream or shout, just be firm and look straight into his eyes (and make sure he looks into yours) when you are talking to him. It may take repeats with some backslides but keep it up and be consistant, never go back on ultmatims either!
Good luck! I am doing that with my preschool kids right now as well as my daughter (spanking is illegal where I live).
2007-12-04 00:46:28 · answer #3 · answered by Smiley 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Three year olds don't know that it is wrong to tell mom "no!" that they won't do something that mom asked.....they are just repeating what they have heard mom say to them.
Give him structure, so that he knows that there is some daily routine. This will keep an active child's mind occupied by having nap time the same, having play time the same, having lunch the same.
Don't forget to get time for yourself. YOU'LL NEED IT!!!
Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.
Useful information to understand and how to deal with similar situations
2007-12-04 04:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by Dan B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You son is at an age where wants control of everything and thinks the world was basically created for him. It is a thing that plenty of parents have to deal with. I would say he is also testing you to see what he can get away with. How are your other children? Are they setting an example for their brother that possibly is a negative one? He is looking up to them and may possibly be following what they have been doing. My suggestion to you (although I dont know what you are saying no too, something simple like a snack, or something like "mommy, I want to jump off the roof!"). Either way though, get down to his level, and explain why the answer is no. If you just say flat out no, of course he wont listen. If you get down to his level though he doesnt feel so intimidated and with a statement of why the answer is no he can understand why he cant have/do what he wants. Just keep trying this! He may rebel for awhile, but sometimes you have to just keep reinforcing things until a positive result comes out in the end. Goos luck!!
2007-12-04 00:24:03 · answer #5 · answered by Alleykat 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You've let him take control. Be the parent.Get control back. A good resource is the Jim Fay Love and Logic series.
2007-12-04 07:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remove all his favorites in his room..make his room bare. When he breaks a rule...make a list of things to work on...try 5, let all other things slide until 1-5 gets better then you can add another 5, but anyway, lock him in his room for 5 mins ea. time he breaks a rule in a bare room...he won't like it, trust me...and it will be easier for you because he won't be in your face and able to manipulate you.
2007-12-04 00:41:03 · answer #7 · answered by srt12780 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have a 4 year old that is the sameway, put him ina corner for 3 minutes (1 minute per year) the first 3 times, then 5 minutes, then 7. he should change
2007-12-04 00:18:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
English Lord came to the US he enjoyed the trip. when he was interviewed about his trip they asked what was the most interesting thing about America. His response was that he could not believe how well the Americans listen to there children. get it lady! beat his *** or he well beat yours maybe not physically but definitely mentally.
2007-12-04 00:26:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
the main problem is he is no longer scared of you because maybe you easily give in to him or do him a lot of favors...i'm 17 but i'm babysitting right now my 2 year old niece who is a bit of a bratt...but I never hit her....when I scold her I always show her that I am superior than her...that I won't give in to all her woes..if she doesn't listen i put her in timeout...her parents are okay with that as long as i don't hit her...
2007-12-04 00:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by justME 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋