Question about my engagement ring?

Question

Got engaged for my birthday, wedding is next yr, everything is great. I love him! I went for 6 month diamond inspection & rude sales woman informed me this is a promise ring or a right hand ring, not engagement. I said its whatever we wanted it to be! She noted that it was only a $300 ring and that its not considered to be. (I emailed a complaint to the store) I don't think he knew thats what he bought and its still an engagement ring to me. But I kinda felt bad when we were at the mall. There was a store sign for a $1000 1 karat ring and he said that was ridiculous. Then we were xmas shopping and he ended up spending over $500 on video games for his daughter. I guess I was looking for input because it made me feel like our engagement wasn't worth it. Its not even a matter of how much, how big, whatever. It was the fact that paying that much for a ring was ridiculous but ok for games. I know I'm going to get some responses thinking I'm shallow but that's not where I'm going with this

Answer 1

Were you happy with the ring before the stupid sales woman said all that? It isn't the price of the ring or how big the ring is, it is the thought and meaning of the ring. You did the right thing by emailing a complaint to the store. I would have also asked for a manager while there and put in a verbal complaint. Don't dwell on this. Plan that wedding and be happy.

Answer 2

The ring is whatever you want it to be. It doesn't matter if it's a 25 cent ring from a machine or a $5000 ring... the ring he proposed w/ is your engagement ring, case closed. Esp. in this day and age, many people are straying from the marquise diamond in the yellow gold and just designing and customizing in so many ways! And I do agree w/ what everyone else said about the 1 carat ring for $1000. That's super cheap for a full diamond. My center stone is 3/4 carat and it was $3000. I told my now fiance that I didn't care how much he spent on a ring, but it had to be more than he would spend on a television. Televisions come and go, but this is my forever ring! :) You could ask to upgrade for an anniversary or something if you'd like. I do think it's silly he spent $500 on video games that his child will grow tired of in a month and $300 on a ring that declares his love to you forever.

Answer 3

In my opinion, there are a couple of issues here.
1. As previously stated, the salesperson is trying to make another sale, and if she continues to get under your skin as she has, she (or some other salesperson at another store) is going to win. Don't let her underhanded tactics influence how you feel about the love and dedication he has given to you. I assume that he is a smart, sincere, loving guy just trying to do the right thing. Your love to him, the dedication, and the eternal promise has nothing to do with the size of the ring on your finger. That thought is the fault of our capitalist society.
2. You seem to have some underlying resentment towards the amount of $$ spent on his daughter. You cannot try to compete with her (eg. if she is worth that then I am worth this). You'll just end up being unhappy with everything he gives you and he'll think you don't appreciate the effort he put into getting it for you. BAD, BAD, BAD. He probably had a really hard time getting you that ring (it's not an easy thing to do from a guy's prospective). However, he probably enjoys the video games with his daughter, making that an easier purchase. Just look at your beautiful ring and remember that he loves you and you are one lucky girl for that.

Answer 4

Well there are a few ways to look at this situation. He seems like he is a little cheap with you. $300 for a ring? But his behavior when you saw the $1000 ring in the mall gave an indication that he is a little selfish and to him giving his girlfriend an engagement is at the bottom of his priority list. You are not shallow...Women think differently than men. Some men are very thoughtful but some men think that diamonds are the most rediculous item you could buy. I don't know what to tell you...Tell him you felt bad. Don't hold things inside as it is not worth it. I wish I had done that many years ago..I know better now.

Answer 5

The sales lady was just trying to make another sale... Being christmas time she probably figured she could call him on the ring, make you feel insecure about it, and wind up selling you an upgrade....

If you were happy with the ring before, you should continue to be regardless of the classification as a promise ring or right hand ring.

Though the fact that your fiance payed more on games that will be discarded or obsolete in months or a couple years, than he did on your ring would raise red flags to me...

While it's not always possible, the general rule of thumb is that an engagement ring should cost approximately 2 months salary... unless you're really living in the depts of poverty it sounds like he didn't even come close to that guideline.

It sounds like there are problems beyond the ring... like the fact he has a daughter and that he's spending so much on toys for her etc... Try to think about everything going on in the relationship and try to determine if it's really the ring that has you upset.

Answer 6

First off, you aren't shallow at all. Second, really needs to mind her own business. And third, I do think you have the right to question his priorities. As a guy who is ring shopping now I love to hear that it doesn't matter what you buy because what is important is what the ring stands for. I'm glad to see most girls realize that. Even though I think every guy should get his girl a ring that she can love and be proud of forever. But with that said, you obviously love your ring regardless of size or price which is great. But if I was you I would have a talk about priorities and spending. Not splurging on a ring is understandable, but spending 500 on video games is excessive. Talk about this now before there are money issues in your marriage.

Answer 7

Honestly, if you like the ring and love him.... does the value of the ring really matter? I know it's hard to look at others with a larger 'rock'... (been there. I went for 5 years with a .26 ct soliair in an area where women sported 1+ct rings). Take a deep breath and see it from his point of view. Most men think it's ridiculous to spend so much money on a pretty rock (literally). In fact, in Europe, most women only have a wedding band. It's the jewelery industry here that tries to convince a woman that the value of her relationship is reflected by the size of her engagement ring or by how much her S.O. spent on a ring.

I think you did the right thing in filing a complaint. Congrats on your engagement!

Answer 8

Expensive promise rings and right hand rings seem to be gimmicks of the industry, a lie sold to women to make them feel like they're worth $$$. An engagement ring can be whatever you want it to be, it doesn't even have to be a ring really. If he has the money to throw $1k at a ring, whatever, but that seems really wasteful. I would have demanded the ring be returned if he'd spent even a quarter of that on me. Spend that money on a house or on the wedding itself. My ring was far less than yours and it was exactly what I wanted. And now that I'm married, I don't even wear it anymore. I just wear my wedding band.

Answer 9

That sales woman probably works on commission. You need to take that into concideration. She just wanted to make a sale and she didn't care if she trampled all over your feelings to get it.

Your guy might have said that $1000.00 for a ring is rediculous because he was still fuming from the way you both were treated.

Any ring worn on your left hand ring finger is a symbol of your commitment to eachother and lets everyone else know that you are spoken for.

Don't let that rude lady ruin your feelings towards the ring he bought you. And as for your man, he probably didn't even make the connection between the two (the video games and the ring). He proabably feels as though you love the ring and don't want any other (bigger or otherwise).

Good Luck!
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Answer 10

You are not completely out of line for feeling that way. I have a similar situation. My fiance picked a ring, originally 700 got in on sale for 250. Its small, but it's what we can afford...or so he says. Then we spend all kinds of money going out to eat and buying PLAYSTATION GAMES!!! But, I still love my ring because it is my ring. It sounds like the RUDE sales woman put a little bit of a damper on ring making you second guess it. To men a ring is a ring, not something that should cost an arm and a leg to pay for. But he may feel like games for his daughter are worth it ( you can play them forever ) and it will make his daughter happy on Christmas. I think deep down the ring means more to him than the money he spent. But you aren't being shallow, just honest!! Good Luck!