my boyfriend is jobless. he has been for about 3 months. he can easily get a job with a friend of ours, but doesn't seem to want to. he makes excuses and isn't actively searching. he has a daughter, which is what infuriates me even more. i mean, if you aren't going to work for the sake of supporting yourself financially, isn't your child motivation enough to get on the ball? it's getting to the point that i'm going to break up with him for it. i love him, and i don't want to, but what kind of future do i have with a guy like this?
p.s.before you call me a gold digger----> i live on my own, graduated college, work a well paying full time job and also bartend 2 nights a week. im not looking to be financially supported.
2007-12-03 13:42:53 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no i don't live with him...i think i would've freaked out already if that wee the case.
2007-12-03 13:50:24 · update #1
no thats not shallow...a lack of motivation is not a good thing in a relationship
2007-12-03 13:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by tl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all after reading your question, the word gold digger never enter my mind. now that is clear....I would agree with you 120% about your boyfriend. He does need to get a job and stop being a dead beat dad/boyfriend. I was wondering if that was his reason not wanted to work, to support his child? What are some of his excuses for not working? What kind of work does your friend do? Now, you see first hand what kind a person he is about taken care of his responsibility.
For the future, sorry if he doesn't change this behavior, you would be very sorry that you did married someone like him. Love is one thing but not wanted to work is another. Since he show no real interest in doing the right thing (getting a job). So, I would suggest to you to think very hard and long about this guy. if he don't get a job within another month, its time for him to roll on out.
2007-12-03 21:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief, I would not think to call you a gold digger! You are a person who has ambition - and you correctly see that your BF does not. You have no future with a guy like that, because fundamentally, HE is the one who is looking to be supported, and is either running away from something, or has some other barrier to his addressing the needs of basic, everyday life. It is sad for his daughter's sake, but if you stay with him you are only enabling him further. You know it is time to go already, you just want some support in saying it is okay to do it - trust me, you are not a bad person for wanting to go. Everyone needs to pull his own weight, and he is not. You deserve someone who can at least do that.
2007-12-03 21:49:30 · answer #3 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that in any way you can be called a gold digger. There's absolutely nothing wrong with expecting your boyfriend to take care of himself, and I understand why you're angry. No, you're not shallow for this at all. I strongly suggest that you talk to him, let him know that this is something you feel strongly about. If he dosen't begin prioritizing now, there's no clear way to know he'll do so later. Just talk to him and take it from there. Best of luck.
2007-12-03 21:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by silvia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are doing the right thing by leaving him. Some guys are just lazy and don't want to grow up. I see a lot of women that are with guys just like that and I always wonder why they are with them in the first place. Plus he has a kid and can't do the right thing yet. This guy has no future. Sorry.
2007-12-03 21:51:53 · answer #5 · answered by myfav1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to stand up and cheer for you. Your boyfriend is looking for someone to support him. I say you drop the guy and find someone who has the same kind of values as you do. The fact that he is not taking the job his friend is offering to him and is still jobless and with a child....This would do it for me. His priorities are messed up. Run while you can.
2007-12-03 21:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by liliana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might be depressed. People go through cycles. I know people who the wife worked and the man didn't really do anything much for a few years and then he got a job and she started staying home. Gently ask him if he has any plans for either working or doing something worthwhile while he isn't working (like cleaning your house, organizing his life, travel?).
2007-12-03 21:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Joyce T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not shallow, you are just being practical. Did you ever tell him or spoke with him his plans? might that job of your friend doesnt fit him..
Give him an ultimatium like a month or two to get a job. if he still doesnt then kick him off to the trash!
You dont have a future to him..and what you will carry the burden of sustaining her daughter and him also?
nah..waste of effort and time..pointless!
2007-12-03 21:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by Judezen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a gold digger, because you want him to get a job. He should want to work not only for himself but his child, you may be better off walking away. Good Luck!
2007-12-03 21:49:28 · answer #9 · answered by gerrell n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hear ya, and totally support that. long ago i broke up with a guy that had amazing potential but decided it was more important to sit on his ***, jobless, and talking about how important his son was, while his son was in another state being raised by the guy's parents. if you're gonna talk, then be able to back up your talk, i say.
break up and maybe that'll prove something to the guy. it actually worked for the guy i was with (although i never went back, at least his son is being raised by him and he has a job).
2007-12-03 21:48:39 · answer #10 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its no way shallow. you should have to live with something like this. if you feel he doesnt keep you emotionally then leave him. you can find someone better by having the life style you have, and no offense, he is being a gold digger by living off you
2007-12-03 21:52:17 · answer #11 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋