Holidays with kids, after divorce?

Question

My husband and I are getting a divorce, and are splitting physical custody with our kids right now. I know that may not seem like the best situation for the kids, but for now, the boys seem to be handling it quite well. That's not what the question is about.

He was never much for the holiday season, and I am. But we didn't really have much in the way of traditions and stuff.

I need ideas about traditions I can do with my kids to help make this holiday season special for them, despite the family issues going on right now. In the past three weeks, my husband has moved out into his own place, has a girlfriend (who my kids adore) who is there a lot, and money is incredibly tight on both ends.

We're working together as much as we can to be supportive for the boys, so we will both be at Christmas programs (probably the girlfriend will be, too) and we're all coming together when it comes to the boys and their activities.

Anyway -- traditions I could start with them?

We celebrate Christmas.

That might have different answers than if it was Hanukkah or Kwanza.

Oh, they're four and six. Two boys.

Answer 1

I would focus on the traditions I grew up with. Your X-Mas spirit had to come from somewhere. Fond memeories of your childhood X-Mases most likely. What did you like to do? Bake cookies? Watch every X-mas special on tv? Do whatever moves you at the time. Whatever feels fun. The fun thing is to start your own traditions.

Answer 2

My parents were divorced and we were in a very similar situation that you're in now. There are many simple traditions my mom came up with that I still use with my own kids to this day.

Dec 25: we stayed in pajamas all day! I don't know why that was so much fun or why it's fun for my kids now, but I loved it and so do they. We always baked cookies on Dec 23 of 24 (my sisters b-day was Christmas Eve) and a big breakfast/lunch in the late morning. My dad would come over. We made some kind of arts and crafts, whether it would be one big project together or little ones for ourselves. My husband makes these wooden model snowman, airplanes etc with my boys around the holidays. They're cheap and my kids will paint them and glue it together. We also watched plenty of movies.
Simple things go a looonnng way, trust me on that. Showing love and sitting together means a lot to a kid, especially during a time like this. I think it's fantastic that you're working this out with your husband for your boys.
Best Wishes =]

Answer 3

As a Divorced Father of 3 I admire you for having split custody with you soon to be ex husbans. So many times even the dads who do care about their kids get the Shaft on visitations when decided by the Judge. Kids cant help it if Mom and Dad cant be together for what ever reason. You have read some comments from posters above how Holidays were a bummer. My suggestion is let the Kids have Double Christmases-Thanksgivings-Easters and so forth. That way it gives the Kids a less stressful time and both Parents get their Kids at Holidays. Rotate Holidays by Year--Your get them for Christmas day 1 year--He Gets them on Christmas day the next Year and so forth. Same way for Easter-Thanksgiving-4th of July and so on. You start off with them on Dec 25th he gets them on Dec 24th and Vice Versa the Next year. The kids need their moms more now at 4 and 6 BUT there will come a time when they need their DAD more than their MOM. There will come a Time When YOU want their DAD to be there for them as they get Older!!!! Dads cant do what Moms can and Moms cant do what Dads Can!!!. ----Im 50 years old and Have 2 sons ages 30 & 24 I know a little bit of what Im talking about!!!

Answer 4

My parents got a divorce when I was 9. It was a horrible time. I was always a daddy's girl until that day. He left my mum for the town scrag,lol. I can laugh at it now. Christmas's were always crap after they separated. I didn't handle the whole ting very well though. My sisters and I we would go to dads for a few hours on Christmas day. The rest of the day was spent with my mum. I hated leaving my mum, especially on Christmas day. I wish things were done differently. It would be really good to make some traditions. Like go looking at lights on Christmas Eve, have a picnic dinner(I live in Australia, so it's summer and day light savings) maybe a nice place that the kids like to eat instead. Write a letter to Santa(I NEVER did this as a kid and wish I did,lol) There's so many things you can do with your kids on your own your with your husband as well. Ask the kids what they would like to make a Christmas tradition? Do they want the girlfriend to be included? You should ask them. I know she's going to be around but still ask them, it's Christmas after all. Good luck and I hope your boys take the whole divorce good. Take care

Answer 5

I first want to say Congratulation on you three making a go at working this out between you guys for the boys! As far a traditions goes,they don't have to be expensive are extravigant either. making simple store bought cookies on Christmas eve for Santa is a good one. Going out to dinner as a whole family where ever the kids want is nice too. Allowing them to open one present on Christmas eve after dinner is easy. Then they can wait up the next moring to all their present. Check out this site called www.bonusfamilies.com They are all about positive ways of helping families during any stage of divorce and afterwards. Good luck, you guys are handling this better then most divorce parents are. Just working together for the boys is the greatest gift you can give them during this time of the year.

Answer 6

Hello,

When I read your question it made me feel so sorry for you and I am so sad for your family and your situation.
It must be a difficult situation especially during Christmas.

You didn't say how old your children are and that might influence what you decide on.

May I suggest that you take your family to a Midnight Mass.
(even if you're not Catholic it is open to all)
*It's free
*It doesn't conflict with anyones schedule
*It's appropriate to the season
*It always includes beautiful seasonal music
*Usually not far to travel to

If a Midnight Mass is not for you, I would still suggest a family attendance at a christmas church service, for many of the same reasons listed. After all it is the reason for the season.

GB u always
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pls pik myn 4 bst answr
thin~Q
u r sweet if u do

Answer 7

My parents are divorced and when we were young, we would have a great big breakfast with our grandparents at our mom's house after opening presents of course on Christmas morning. After that we would go to our dad's house to celebrate with him. It worked out well. We would also spend Christmas Eve evening at our dad's mom's celebrating with all of our aunts and uncles.

Answer 8

You don't say how old your kids are. Why don't you ask them what they would like to do as a tradition. Make up your own!