My mom has been at odds with his brothers and sisters for years now after my grandparents passed on and now instead of sharing the homeplace as a summer home, now my mom wants her share of it in cash. My mom is the youngest sibling and her brothers/sisters have occasionally gave her advice when her life was headed down the wrong path, always were good to my brother and I and occasionally gave my mom money for Christmas or Birthdays for us. Now ever since my grandparents are gone, my mom has been in a jealosly contest with them and picked fights, or kept fights going. I told her on the phone today, "Mom I really wish you would give them a chance they seem to care somewhat when I talk to them. She claims she was dropped by them, and she never got credit for anything. (She never did anything to keep the peace.) Her sister has tried to mend fences but mom says it is too stressful right now, but still claims she has been dropped. Can she be pleased?
2007-12-03 12:05:50 · 7 answers · asked by TennesseeGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This has went on for years just worsened by the death of my gparents. I cannot ever remember my aunts/uncles doing anything but trying to help. What is her issue?
2007-12-03 12:07:14 · update #1
No she is not going through Menopause she has been like this her whole life.
2007-12-03 12:18:36 · update #2
No mom is not a drinker. Just jealous natured and petty.
2007-12-03 12:26:52 · update #3
If mom acts like they 'dropped' her then they should all chip in to buy mom out of her share of the house and drop her. You can't change her and you can't fix things for her. It doesn't sound like anything would please her short of everyone else in the family bowing on one knee and proclaiming her queen of the family and bending to her every whim.
There could be so many issues at play here. Things from even before you were born. I think it best to focus on your own relationship with individual family members and try not to get sucked in to any drama between them. It's worked for me!
2007-12-03 12:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom obviously believes that her siblings did something wrong. There isn't really anything that can be done, because she is going to believe what she believes. What she needs is some time away from them. See if your aunts and uncles can pay a small vacation for her so that she can relax and get her mind off of her parent's death and all the money issues, and at the same time show that your aunts and uncles care a lot about her. If they refuse because of money, try like a mall hangout and a movie. If they refuse about other reasons, you judge from there on what's right and wrong. If your mom refuses, convince her somehow. She needs peace and quiet to sort things out. Tell her that she needs a break, since she's always so stressed (not for other reasons).
I can't guarantee that will ease her mind, or let her let go. But this probably will please her. Sorry if it's too much trouble.
2007-12-03 20:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few things here. I think your mom has an inferiority complex being the youngest, she is afraid of being left out of the money. Saying that, detroying family bonds over money is a big no no. Explain that she is upsetting you by breaking down the family relationships and that money should not take prevelance over what is the real issue that is effecting the family emotions and break down, the death of granparents. My condolences to you and your mom. The money must be shared equally or the fights will never end. Ask your mom whats more important family peace or money.Does she maybe feel ignored and is using this situation to get attention to herself or maybe she is really just grieving and at the same time desperately not wanting to be out done by her elders. You must ask her whats going through her mind.
2007-12-03 20:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by janeysmithster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something perhaps festers from their childhood, or may be the loss of the grandparents is causing emotional problems for your mum. Perhaps she could be got some counselling of some sort, or treatment for depression from her GP. But listen hon, if you keep on at her you may just drive te wedge deeper, or worse still drive a wedge between you and her as well. Just stay on good terms with everyone and jeep the discussions with mum on the subject to a minimum, that is all you can do for now.
2007-12-03 20:21:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't quite understand the situation, except to know that you side against your mom and with your aunts and uncles in their sibling battle. And you may or may not be justified, depending on the situation. And you might not know all the facts. My question to you is, why are you involved? It's not your battle.
2007-12-03 20:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't take this the wrong way-is your mom a drinker? she sounds like a victim. now she's grown time to grow up and eat crow if she must. can she be pleased? not at this point, i suggest she needs a fresh outlook on life one that doesn't mean she is the center of the universe. let her read this i'm sure she'll get mad but it will eat at her till she coughs up the love.
2007-12-03 20:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your mother. If she is 45-50--she could being going through menopause. I know--that is not for life. lol My mother--in later life became the same. (similar to a little jealous kid) She may have some medical problems--some mental plroblems--but truthfully--my opinion--no one can please her. I have seen/experience too much of the same.
2007-12-03 20:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋