Is Cybersex adultery?

Question

If you suspected your boyfriend was having "cybersex" with other people via webcam or chatting in a sexual way with them would you let him do it?

My BF lives ages away so we only meet eachother once every weekend, he has a very high sex drive and I know he likes using online dating sites and talking to other people. Should I let him do it and turn a blind eye as a sort of compromise?

Do you think it classes as REAL adultery?

Thx for the answers so far,
to DanielLindsey: Theres no way I could offer him "cybersex" on a regular basis, I'm all for the real thing but cybering, even with my BF just dosnt do it for me.

To TokyoGirl: Yes we are officialy going out so he knows he shouldnt be doing it and I'm the jealous type so I hate to think he could be doing that... But, I'm thinking maybe if I allow him to do it it might mean theres less chance of him having a real affair (physical) behind my back.

Because he lives so far away its imposible for me to know everything about whats he's doing, unfortunately either of us moving isnt practicle either: Im a uni student and hes a businessman so we both have our seperate lives.

Answer 1

You might want to talk to your boyfriend. He may not think that your relationship is as serious as you do. You need to specify with him that you do not want him seeing other people at all in a romantic or sexual manner. This may not be considered strictly cheating, as he may assume that the two of you have an open relationship due to the distance.

Now if you have already done this, then yes it is cheating. Even if he claims that it is only online, being on a dating site means that he is potentially making online dates to meet in public. You may want to be careful that he hasn't been seeing other people all along & making you think that you are the only one. You don't want to be a backup in case his other relationships don't work out.

Unfortunately there is a very high chance that since you two are too long distance to see each other every day (and every night!) & since he has such a large sex drive, that he may eventually cheat. It's very hard to have a long distance relationship & even the best of people are unable to maintain it. Again, I think that you need to sit down with your boyfriend & talk to him about this. If he is unable to stop his online emotional (and potentially physical) affairs, then you need to either find a solution (visit more often or one of you moving) or split up.

Answer 2

I dont think it really classifies as "adultery" because its not a physical sexual act. It really depends on how you feel. I dated a guy for about a year and he lived 4 hours away, so I understand where you're coming from. I would be very hurt if i had found out about him doing that, because if anything, he could do that with me. Right? So if it bothers you, which apparently it does, then you should really talk to him about it. And if he doesn't want to change his behavior, then unfortunately you dont mean enough to him, or else he would change his behavior in order to not hurt your feelings. If that is the case, he's definitely not worth it. Even if it feels like he's the most important thing. Relationships are all about working together, no matter how cliche' that sounds. good luck :]

Answer 3

I don't think it classifies as adultery. You're not married to him. But know telling what he does, if he has a good guy, he shouldn't be hunting for happiness on the Internet by cybering. You shouldn't have to deal with that. Sit him down and tell him that that cant continue. And if he wants to break up, it's his loss. [NO OFFENSE] But he will probably end up being a man whore. And that is cheating.
Good Luck & Best Wishes!

Answer 4

I had thought that adultery didn't really apply in situations outside formal binding rituals. I get your point though, and have to say that cybersex is certainly emotional promiscuity. Whether you can live with that is up to you. I suppose at least it has the benefit of being medically safe..

Answer 5

Not physical adultery....but I believe it is emotional adultery, I think it would hurt me if my husband were attracted to someone else that he would actually have "cybersex" with that person, I think it is the beginning of cheating...although I do not like pornography, I believe that its "better" than having cybersex for him because the movies are not responding to him.......Does that make sense?

Answer 6

It is and isn't in a way.

You may not be sleeping with them,but the emotional side of thing's like the chatting could be classed as a betrayal on some levels.

A very interesting question................

Answer 7

Yes, that's cheating to me.
If they're not enjoying their relationship enough to the point where they feel they have to go online and talk with others.. that's crossing way to many lines.

Talk to your boyfriend about it, that you don't agree with it. See what he has to say, and if you two can compromise.

Answer 8

Here's a thought why don't you call him on the phone and m*an to get him aroused or when you chat with him, tell him how you're doing stuff to yourself and thinking about him.

Answer 9

if he is sat looking at other women naked,beating his meat.while there naked.talking dirty to them while they do the same ....what does it sound like to you....think about it...in my eyes hes cheating and I'm a happily married man...my wife would chop my plums off.

Answer 10

Yes, it is adultery. Question is are YOU willing to live with him doing that, not how it's defined.