friends! yesterday i went town with my husband & in-laws, my husband 's birthday is coming on 8th of dec. so i decided to buy him some present , so i asked him that i wanted to be alone for a while because i want somthing private, he left me there & went towards his parents. i bought the present & than went towards them but my mother in law asked me that what i had in that shopping bag, i said its nothing, but she insisted that i must show her, i told her that its nothing it is just a present for him(my husband) she insulted me so much infront of my husband & his father & said why did i buy it,i was about to cry its was really hard for me to controll myself but i did.but you know my husband said that u should not buy these things . he took his mother's side, i m so upset, i bought something for him with so much love but they didnt care.. what should i do now?? i wana put that present in the bin....
2007-12-03 10:02:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i got married a year ago& live with inlaws, my husband works in someothr city & come for weekends but he has to look aftr his parents so it is really hard for him to manage time for me. thats why i was mad at him at saturday night but sunday morning was okk, so he said that u were mad at me at saturday night than why did u buy present for me... it doesnt make any sense. i love him so much, why doesnt he understand that i got upset because i need him, i wana spend time with him, i wana feel him. i cant leave him. just wana change his life style a bit..
2007-12-03 10:02:53 · update #1
Hi,
Well your situation is common as mostly girls staying in joint family facing this problem. Some times when wife doing something special for husband mother is always feeling that may be she will take away my son from me and this is natural may be when you will become a mother in law you will also behave same like this.
Please don’t mind what I am saying I just want you to realize that she is a mother and feeling insecure about her son.
I know that you are hurt but still I will suggest you first of all go to your Mother in Law just sit with her and say sorry to her for what happen just treat with her like your own Mother.
Still you can celebrate your husband’s birthday just discus with your mother in law that you need her help to give surprise to your husband I am sure she will help you.
Dear, Mothers are always possessive specially about her sons u need to be very careful about this make a friendly atmosphere between you and your in laws and you will see Inshalla you Mother in law will say to your husband to take care about you and give you time also.
Same time try to show your husband your love. If you don’t have time to sit with him alone you can write him your feelings.
I am sorry if you feel any thing bad what I mentioned above.
May Allah (SWT) help you and bring all the happiness in your life (Ameen)
Take care
Bye
2007-12-03 17:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sam Halla (Allah please help us) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure I totally understand what's going on here but you don't need an excuse to buy someone you love a present. Just because you had had an argument with him doesn't mean you don't love him so I guess I don't see what they are making all this fuss.
It is perfectly reasonable for a wife to buy her husband a birthday present, I would say you should still give him the gift but when you do do so in private and talk to him about what happened, calmly, your not in the wrong here. Tell him how you feel and what you want from him, men aren't mind readers and don't pick up on signals as well as women do.
2007-12-04 04:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by karen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your in-laws are controlling and abusive.
You and your husband need to move completely away from your in-laws.
If your hubby is traveling all that way, why not find a small apartment in that area and move there to be with him?
If the hubby has not cut the apron strings, much less the umbilical cord, you will not be able to stand being in that marriage very long.
2007-12-04 01:23:38 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be able to avoid living with your in laws but go you really have to go shopping with them as well. You and your husband are grown up and need time to yourselves. You have his prents all week. He should devote a good deal of the weekend to you without his parents being there.
I dare say you eat together and watch tv together with them as well. Get together with your husgand and arrange just how much time is parent time and how much is you guys alone tine.
2007-12-03 18:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by bri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its obvious. ur husband has his duties towards her parents. but he must spend more time with yu to fulfil yur needs and dont let u feel alone. i will not suggest to move away from ur inlaws because in his absent u shold look after them. in my views if yu wanted to buy something for him, u should have taken him along and would have been bettter if it would be without parents. then he could hv not said that u shold have not bought all that. its ok. i know yur feelings and how that hurts' but forget this all. put that present in yur hubbys' wardrobe. he will realize yur love towards him and use it. and rlax baby--- this all happens in family life
2007-12-03 19:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by bhups 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You guys have got to move out to your own place. Living with in-laws is the path to destruction for most marriages. And yes you should feel hurt
2007-12-03 18:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by Dianne J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just sit down with him and tell him how you feel. You might want to go out for supper or something so you can be alone to talk to him since you live with his parents.
2007-12-03 18:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by Perkymo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would of told the MIL the bag contains condoms and I poked holes in all of them. And if she wants to see what they look like buy her own.
2007-12-03 18:25:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you should show it to your husband i bet he will be suprised before he's birthday.... maybe the two of you....celebrate for his birthday....you bring wine, delicious food, wear lovely dress etc .... and i think he will say "this is my best birthday ever!" or something..
2007-12-03 18:12:55 · answer #9 · answered by pollie_cute_yra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry...what was the question? I think I dozed off.
2007-12-03 18:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by TatersPop 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋