What do people think about surrogacy???

Question

I have 2 kids of my own (a boy and a girl) so I dont intend on having anymore as I have one of each sex and 2 kids is more than enough for me but I have always considered being a surrogat for someone as I know there alot of lovely couples out there who would love to have a child but cant. I just wanted to know what people thought about it and if anyone on here has been a surrogat for anyone?

I totally agree with those who say it would be hard emotionally but i feel i could as i love my kids and really dont want any more of my own. I also wouldnt be doing it for money, I would be doing it just to help those who desperately want a child.

Answer 1

My sister's relative was a surrogate twice. Her younger two children were terribly hurt and confused because they didn't understand when she didn't come home with a baby and that she gave the baby away. They were traumatized that they might get given away.

So, my suggestion is to wait until your own children are at least 8 or 9 before considering this option. By then, they will clearly understand that it is not a keeper. Also, consider the state that you live in. My state will not honor a surrogate arrangement while Texas will uphold any contracts. This is both for your safety and the safety of the parents. For instance, you could be in a situation where you have twins and they only want to keep one baby, or the baby could have something wrong with it and they now don't want it (both of these are REAL court cases).

The most important thing I could recommend is that the couple use someone else's eggs (so the whole thing is by IVF). I really don't have any issues with surrogacy, provided the reason for it is that the woman CAN'T carry a pregnancy and otherwise has no children. Folks like Cheryl Tiegs just defy the imagination and certainly disgust me. [She already had children. Her new husband had no children, so at 51, she hired a surrogate. She became jealous of the surrogate so after the babies were born, divorced her husband and then tried to prevent him from having any contact with the children.]

Answer 2

I've never been fond of the idea of surrogacy because it seems too much like selective breeding. I know that isn't a moral or otherwise valid objection ;), its just my personal feelings.

A friend of mine once commented that she wanted another child, but had so many problems with her first pregnancy that she didn't want to take the risk again. She also didn't want to adopt since she wanted a baby that looked like her. My first thought was that I'm the opposite - I don't want another child but I loved pregnancy and birth and had no problems. But I can't wrap my mind around surrogacy because I would feel like a breeder. People with pure-bred animals choose to breed so they can sell "quality" offspring at a high price, and I wouldn't feel much different if I were to make money by carrying a pregnancy for someone. There are already too many unwanted children in the world to intentionally put yourself through this.

Answer 3

I had thought about doing it before. I LOVE being pregnant and like you said, there are people out there that would love a child of their own but cant have it. But when it comes down to it, I know that I couldnt emotionally do it, to grow that close to a baby during that 9months and then give it to someone else even if it wasnt my egg to begin with.
I think its great that there are women out there that would do that for another couple. It just shows that there are people in this world that do still care!

Answer 4

i think if you can keep yourself from being emotionally attached to the baby it is a wonderful thing to do.
I know many women who cannot conceive and it can be heartbreaking. My only suggestion is to make sure you really and truly can part with the child and try to do it as an act of kindness not for a big pay-off. My best suggestion is to donate your eggs. You will be compensated and then you do not have to carry. There are many couples who have been waiting years for egg donators and this way you will have less of a chance to become attached and it will take less physically from you.

Answer 5

I know people who have done it- but after the whole Baby M thing- where the woman became attached to the baby and changed her mind- it just seems like a bad idea. There are plenty of other ways to make this world a loving place. It also smacks, a bit, to me like baby selling... since it's usually wealthier couples who receive the baby from moms who need money.

Answer 6

I've never been a surrogate myself. But have offered to be one for a couple of close friends of mine. (She ended up having to have emergency surgery and lost both ovaries ... the doc didn't know she was considering surrogacy so he removed them with out saving the eggs) Therefore, I was never able to do that for them. The proposition did arise however that I accept a sperm donation from her fiance (combined with my egg) and carry for her. (She'd already lost her uterus in a previous surgery) I couldn't do that... knowing that the child was genetically mine and carrying it .... I'd NEVER be able to let go and I knew it... so we decided that wasn't an option. But if it were for close family/friends and not involving using my eggs, then yes, I could/would be glad to be a surrogate for someone.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 7

OMG!!!! I want to so bad! I am preg with my 5th I would LOVE to carry a baby for someone who cant have kids!!!! I would never use my own eggs. I just want to carry the baby for a couple who want to have a family.

Answer 8

I was going to do it for my sister but she waited too long. She kept changing her mind and I did not want to wait any further to get my tubes done. If you really want to do it that would be great for someone that cannot have any.

Answer 9

I had a friend in elementary school whose mom was a surrogate mom, never struck me as odd to be honest.