My oldest daughter lost one of her sorority sisters this morning. My child is a believer and I am not. Any helpful ideas on what to say to her or just let her talk it out? She will be calling in a few hours to talk..I never have been one that dealt with death in a rational manner anyway..Keep me in your thoughts and thanks in advance to all who answer.
2007-12-03 08:58:07 · 20 answers · asked by FallenAngel© 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Did I mention that I love you guys? Thanks for the words of encouragement
2007-12-03 11:00:48 · update #1
Just ask her if she wants to talk about her sorority sister...the best thing to do it just be there for her and let her talk..she needs to talk now...It doesn't matter if you don't believe as you say...Your her mother and you want to comfort her...I have dealt with death so many times...Just this morning My Uncle John died...I fell apart as usual, but I have talked to alot of people, and now I feel better..well alittle...Just be there for her... she does need to talk about it believe me...
2007-12-03 09:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by Kerilyn 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Death can affect different people different ways. You are going to have to let her talk to find out where she is at emotionally. Death can affect even very strong people quite intensely. Even if you are a nonbeliever, you should tell her to use her faith and religious practices to help her. She must use the means that she is use to using to cope. Rituals and beliefs can be comforting, and keep one from being overwhelmed. If you have had similar experiences you might be able to share how you also have struggled with grief. But, you must be careful, to be very sensitive about everything you say, and to let her take most of the emotional lead, with you just putting out just a few words at times, to get a feel for where she is at.
2007-12-03 09:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by astrogoodwin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have the same beliefs to comfort her. You don't even have to speak the same language as another person for them to be able to know you care. Just be her mom. Let her talk. Ask her about the one special thing she remembers about her friend. Ask her about what the sorority plans to do in her memory. Be prepared to offer up a few ideas of your own if there is time. Ask her what she personally plans to do to help her honor her friend. Just let her know that you are really listening, including anything about her feelings about God. Just tell her you are glad she has that to comfort her, and then maybe ask about her friend's background in that area. if her friend was not a believer that is going to really bother her, and she will talk to you about it if you hold your tongue on your own thoughts and just let her get it all out. Your her mom. You are empowered to just quietly listen and have more effect on helping her through than anyone else. Good luck!
2007-12-03 13:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by ganna 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is listen to her; she may not want rational answers, just comfort at this point. No one else can give her what you can now--her mother's presence. People cause so much pain to the grieving when they talk too much! She will probably need to talk to you about it several times in the future. Knowing you are there with comfort and love will mean so much. Blessings to you and your daughter.
2007-12-03 09:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to listen, yes. Your instincts serve you well. Remember you don't have to have all the answers, both of you can work through the thinking together.
Prayers and thoughts are sent to both of you. Be well, as well as you can be given the circumstances, and know that many support you both and are sorry for the loss.
_()_
2007-12-03 10:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by vinslave 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just listen and let her be free to say whatever she feels at the moment. Just tell her that you will be there for her in whatever way you can, but don't feel like you have to discuss anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Just knowing that you support her and will sit and listen should be enough to give her comfort.
2007-12-03 09:47:35 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is so sad to lose someone you care about, but since she is a believer I will direct this to you. She will be fine as time heals all, but you should let her life be a nudge for you to give your heart to Jesus Christ. If you would do this, then you could pray for her hurt and it would be minimal. Please rest assured that when I pray I WILL mention you and your daughter and all will be well with you both....
2007-12-03 09:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by esawskid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Death to a Christian, is the opening of the door to the Kingdom of Heaven.
2007-12-03 09:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by BOC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about, "I'm so sorry for your loss?" The just listen to what she has to say.
What you say at a time like this doesn't matter much. What she'll remember was that you were there for her when she needed someone.
2007-12-03 09:32:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remind your daughter that death is not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter. She will see her friend again. I PROMISE.
2007-12-03 09:20:38 · answer #10 · answered by newwellness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋