Does anybody else find this strange??

Question

I know a family that has 3 kids, 7yo, 5yo and a 15 mo....
ok, the two older children of this family are not allowed to eat Much..... they are both very healthy, not at all over weight or anything, if anything, they are even on the skinny side.... the mom has had eating disorders, and even though she is skinny, she thinks she is fat..... so, she warns her kids all the time that if they eat much, they'll be fat! this goes overboard at times, for example, at breakfast, if they have cereals and they ask for more, the answer is NO, you've had enough, you can't have more, or if the girl (7yo) wants to have a piece of cake, the mother will yell:"eat the cake if you want to be like that fat girl from your class"
is it my imagination or is it really strange.... i mean i don't think kids at this age should be aware of danges of eating..... we should trust them to eat the amount their body needs.....
will this behavior lead to eating disorders later on in life??? what are your thoughts??

the cake is not at their house! this was at a special occaision, their grand father's birthday...

Answer 1

I can understand why they won't let her eat the cake, but cereal? Kids needs nutrition if they want their kids to grow. There is nothing wrong with being full when you are 7.

I wonder if the kids will become anorexic when they grow up.

Answer 2

You obviously mean well but I think you are seeing certain things that aren't there.

Why would it be "going overboard" simply because the children are refused a second helping of cereal? If they have eaten then that will set them up until lunch time.

Clearly the mother will allow them to eat cake since it is in the house - obviously the mother doesn't prevent them from eating these things but simply worries.

I would have to congratulate this woman if she is concerned about what her children eat and children should be made well aware of the dangers of eating too much or unhealthy options.

If this woman controlled her children to the point of starvation I'd agree you'd have a right to be concerned but the children, from your words alone, ARE allowed to eat (even cake!)....

.........I don't see a problem here.

Answer 3

Unless you are at their place 100% i believe there is more to the story, kids don't have to be fat to be happy and oviously the mother is doing a good job on that department, maybe her way is to be improved but kids need to understand about the un-healthy American eating habits at early age, maybe we should stop trying to force other people our own eating habits.

Answer 4

that is strange the mom shouldnt act like towards the children, my oldest child (soon to be 7) has to watch what he eats but his medicine can cause him to over eat and gain alot of weight, we try to keep healthy snacks in the house and not eat junk food in front of him which is helping me to lose weight. other than that he is not told that if he eats a peice of cake he will get fat. we use sweets as a reward so my kids dont really know what junk food is, they want water to drink instead of soda. if i make cookies then yes there is a limit to how many due to the sugar in them. it could very well create problems later especially for the girl(s)

Answer 5

-----will this behavior lead to eating disorders later on in life???

Likely as they'll have learned little sense of self-discipline. They are also likely to become very superficial and blame others for being even slightly "fat" at inappropriate times.\

The mother should not be virtually starving them...in fact she needs to learn enough about nutrition to know having them eat too little and not exercise will just lower their metabolism and cause them to gain weight quicker later in life...not to mention be more vulnerable to immune system problems.
In fact if she does not want them to be fat...she should be telling them to exercise and do competitive sports...when they do such sports they'll be able to FEEL when they have ate too much and learn to gauge eating by themselves. You really, if anything, should simply give their mother the competitive sports idea as a second option and hope she'll choose it although, sadly, you can't just tell her to stop (that would likely just come across as bossy).

Answer 6

yes it's strange and sad. but eating disorders are a disease and the mother probably can't help it, she needs to get help before she makes her kids turn anorexic or bulemic.

eating alot don't bother most kids though, I have an 8 year old son who eats ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. He is very healthy, not overweight or underweight. I don't think kids diets should be handled like this unless there is already a weight problem.

Answer 7

Children are the largest growing segment of obese-prone people in the US. The figures are staggering. So, I DO believe that children should be educated about eating correctly. They don't know how to control this themselves and will eat what they like, when they like and how much they like if not. However, that being said, they should NOT be burdened with their parents neurosis on the subject. This type of negative reinforcement can (and does) create eating disorders, yes. These children need to talk with somebody with real facts -- as should the mother.

Answer 8

I can understand where the mother is coming from, seeing as she has had an eating disorder. When she says those things to her children, it's her disease talking. She clearly has not beaten her eating disorder yet.
She says these things because deep down, she truly does love her children and doesn't want them to go through the pain she has gone through. (being fat, or thinking that she was fat)
I do agree that it is not normal, and the mother should really find a counselor so she can continue on her way to recovery.

Answer 9

this is not normal parenting behavior and the kids are in real danger of developing eating disorders later in life......the mom you are talking about already has a disorder and needs to get help, she needs to learn that what she is doing is going to harm her kids in the long run...........talk to her about this, or ask her husband and family to talk to her............or see if you can get some other friends and family that feel the same way you do to get together and do an intervention.........before the kids get old enough to have the bad behaviors ingrained into them

Answer 10

that is very very unheathly and sad for the children. I hope that lady can get some help. I think parents should obviously feed there kids good healthy food and not let them over eat but there are better ways to go about it. They need to have a good example of heathly body image