I'M VENTING and would love your opinions. Its a bit long. For you who already answered, thank you.?

Question

For a while I was casually talking to this one guy. Eight months later we decided to make things official, he is now my bf of 4 months. While we were just talking he pretty much dangled, in my face, this other girl he was kind of talking to who lives 6 hours away in his hometown. For a while I felt threatened by her. It even came to a point I just stopped talking to him, but he kept pursuing me. I got a little worried that he would choose her over me, but that’s not how it went. Well he talked to her one time, after we got together, and I explained to him why I didn’t like him talking to her. The fact that he brought her to my attention like she was something special, you know? He assured me that I had nothing to worry about. That though he thought she was a cool person, I blew her out of the water and she could not compare. In the end and without me forcing he said with ease “No problem I just wont talk to her anymore.” And that he would do whatever to make me happy.

He also said he dangled her to keep me on my toes. Stupid I know. Anyways the main thing is, she commented him on his Myspace today.
Now before you guys get any ideas, dont think I'm some page stalker. Not at all. I went to comment him and found that she left him a comment saying " Remember I told you about that December thing, you better be there!" Now about a month ago I know he called her because he told me. He told me that he had a feeling that something was wrong with her and he called. He had the same feeling before one of his x girlfriends died, so that being said I didnt get mad. I know it wasnt a BS story because I'm the one who delivered the news on his X passing. We all went to the same H.S.

I'm not mad at him. I'm just annoyed. I hate hate hate.. that she continues to try and talk to him. And she cant pull that "we're just friends" BS because they were interested in each other at some point in a more than friends way.

I know she was heart broken when she found out about us. She made it obvious on his page.

Today I realized though he assured me that I am the one, I will never get over that hateful dislike feeling towards her.

The december thing is her college graduation. I put 2+2 together.

Another reason why I'm not mad is because he didnt erase it. He could have but he didnt. He logged on way before I looked at his page. That lets me know hes not doing things he shouldnt be and has to hide.

If he was hiding why not erase it? And why tell me he spoke to her at all? I dont look through his phone so I would have never known.

Ughh... its not him its her. I dont like that she keeps trying. Its like get a clue! What happened to respectable girls?

Answer 1

I understand your frustration, but like you said yourself, you don't have anything to worry about since your boyfriend is faithful, honest and open with you. If I were you, I would actually be proud that my boyfriend was desirable. Other girls want him, but look who won him over... you.

As for her, has she made any attempt to steal him from you? Has she been indecent or try to tempt him to cheat on you? If no, then I don't see a problem why she can't be friends with your boyfriend. Although it may not be the best thing for her to move on with her life, some people actually prefer to have a friendship relationship than to have nothing at all with the person they like.

The best thing you can probably do is actually to befriend her too. If you two become best friends (it's possible, really), she will be less likely to try to steal him away from you in the future since she respects you and love you as a close friend.

Answer 2

i'm so sorry to pay attention approximately you discomfort. yet what you need to do it first, take a seat lower back and % out your problems directly( Which i think of you have) and you need to start to repair those problems, and that i think of you easily need to you in basic terms do no longer understand how perhaps?.. you need to do away with your bf, he's obviosly no longer stable sufficient for you, talk with you mom. tell her the actuality relating to the way you sense, perhaps it may even help your relationship with you brother get lower back heading in the right direction! And if i'm going to sugest, this is beneficial to seek for some help from a doctor just to verify you're o.k. mentally after all you have been by way of :) i wish this helped even slightly, stay stable! issues will come around :)

Answer 3

Don't you realize that unconditional love of friendship trumps your conditional love of commitment? Realy think about it. Lets say you breck up today, do you think you'd have that relationship with him? Yes be afraid, be very afraid. History is extremely important to a relaitonship, and actions speck louder then worlds. Right now, they speck of a relaitonship you can't understand, doesn't mean he is sleeping with her, but theirs worst things then sleeping with someone, that could hurt a relationship. Your also not being to health about this, so what if she calls, as long as HE handles it right. Your saying your worried about her, thats not true, you worred about him and what he might do or else, NO PROBLEM!, ether you talk honestly to him about how you feel, or sit around and watch things unfold. I don't know truly weather you should be worried, but I get the feeling, he feels you would be.....