My two year old daughter bites, and I don't know how to stop her.?

Question

My daughter bites. I have tried time outs and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to bite her back or spank her. Are there any suggestions?

Answer 1

My first question would be how long has this been going on? Most children began biting when they first get teeth-- around one year old. At two she either has just discovered it in which case the water squirt works well or she's been doing it for at least a year now. If she's been doing it for awhile you probably only became concerned when you wanted to put her in preschool and she was biting the other children. You're going to have to be a bit hard on her. The teacher in school can't spank or hit your child in any way. However, the other children can and should if she's biting them! When my children first bit me, I said "Ouch" and smacked them--usually on the arm. It wasn't a hard smack, but one that did cause momentary shock and discomfort to the biter. I then said, "That's what happens when you bite." They usually tested it a couple more times with the same result. Discomfort to the biter will cause THEM to STOP biting. Sorry, but at two that works much better than time outs or reasoning, and you don't have to have a water bottle on you all the time.

Answer 2

I agree that biting her back (as gently as you can) may be the only way to stop her. You've probably tried everything and you are at your wits end with this, or you wouldn't be asking.

My gf's son went through an awful hair pulling phase at the same age. When he was upset, he would get hold of anyone's hair and yank as hard as he could, which of course, really hurt. She is a gentle mom and tried everything, like you, and the only thing that worked was saying, "No! That hurts!" very sharply, while pulling his hair, just hard enough to get his attention. Oh, he hated it and he screamed, but he finally put two and two together, and he stopped very shortly after that.

The problem is that two year olds haven't fully put together in their minds how painful some of their actions are. All they know is that they are upset and they lash out, sort of mindlessly. Putting the words my friend used above together with the pain of biting your daughter just enough for her to feel it, a few times, should put the two together,

Biting is dangerous and could really hurt someone, so even though your heart isn't in it, give this a try and I think you will see positive results, soon.

Answer 3

I don't agree with any of the answers you have been getting. I do not agree that when a two year old bites she means any harm and it usually just means she is upset about something and she hasn't yet learned to control her emotions. When she bites you don't bite her back like many of the others have said as this will teach her that biting is acceptable and it is not. She is the child here not you. If she bites you, go down to her eye level and say "we do not bite! That hurts mommy" She genuinely will not know that when she bites it hurts you. Remember she is still only learning. A simple explanation is enough. If she bites another child you do the same. For example you would say " do not bite Tommy. That hurts him" and then you ignore her and give the other child lots of attention. She will gradually realize that biting doesn't get her anywhere.

Answer 4

whats wrong with the world? ..."bite her back", "ignore her" , "GIVE HER TOYS!!!" no wonder the world is full of idiots.....were raising them that way...listen your daughter is doing something undesirable, and the way to stop her is simple everytime she does a undisirable action respond with a undisirable action... likelwise, when she is being good be very good to her... thats what parenting is, why oh why do people make it dificult.. if she bites you and your punishment or undesirable act is not working, then it is not undesirable enough.. i am not saying hit your kid, but find something she does not like... if its the time out chair be sure it is a punishment not a nice chair in the corner with the tv on... and make sure she stays there, for a long time. if i had to bet shes down in like what 5 min, and you DONT make her get back up... right? or you tell her back a couple times and get tired so you let her go...remember you HAVE have to be more persistant than they are, dont give in becuase its easier.... in the end it makes things alot harder.

alison LMC, Dawn, and weasal had some good ideas...
Answer just above mine PERFECT... you are a smart person..

Answer 5

Once biting becomes part of a child's social repertoire, the behavior strongly reinforces itself. It feels good to your daughter to bite others. Project yourself into the body of a 2 year old - imagine the feeling of teeth into soft flesh. All those confusing emotions - frustration, anger, jealousy - can be released in this simple act. Now, think of the reaction your daughter gets from others as she bites - cries, screams, adult involvement. That's power to a 2 year old!

There is really only one way to stopping the biting and it is to stop your daughter before she bites. This will take weeks of diligence on your part. You must shadow your daughter, always staying within arm's reach. Since there doesn't seem to be any provocation to her biting, be ready to intervene whenever another child gets a little close to her physical space. When you see her face get close to another child, either redirect her or literally place your hand in between her and the bitee. It's up to you to intercept the action until it ceases to be part of her repertoire.

Answer 6

The best thing you can do is intervene.

Don't give her a chance to bite you... or stop her in the process.

Grab her l hands and look her right in the eyes and tell her in a stern voice , "No biting, be nice to your Mommy."

Show her that you are the boss... I know she is only 2, but it sounds like there is a little bit of a power struggle going on... especially since she only does it to you.

Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.

Useful information to understand and how to deal with similar situations

Answer 7

I dont understand why you wouldnt spank her. But if you arent comfortable with it then I respect that. I defenitly agree that biting her back is out of the question! Why would someone do that? biting is normal toddler behavior. Here is a website that gives some tips better than I can explain!

http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/0,,486t,00.html

Answer 8

You could try a teething ring, and see if that helps. But if you know she's not teething, or it isn't helping, (I know it might seem mean, but we've tried it on my brother, and he stopped biting for a long while,) put some hot sauce directly on her tongue. Just a few drops once. That will probably stop the biting. Hope this helped!

Answer 9

Biting back is a bad idea. She should be old enough to put her in a time out. But with the time out you need to make sure that she understands why she is there otherwise the time out is not going to solve any problems.

Answer 10

try taking away privileges. TV time, a favorite toy, not going to the park. something she likes that will make an impact. say, "if you bite again you won't get this,or that, or whatever." but you gotta follow through with it or else it's just an empty threat and then you'll really have a problem. kids will remember if you say you are gonna do something and then you don't. stick to your guns when you say something and don't be a push over. if you don't she will know it doesn't matter if you say you are gonna take something away.