How do I tell her, without sounding like a crazy jealous man????

Question

My gf still talks to her ex as friends. I want it to stop and I don't know how to tell her without sounding like some crazy jealous person. he was a very jealous man and she couldn't stand it and i think that ultimatley ended there 5 yr relationship along with some other issues she had. So i don't want us to end i want her to stop talking to him all together. It didn't bother me until i was looking through her phone and noticed he was one of her my fave's contact's.....that just made me wonder do they talk more then she tells me....

I want it to stop, how can i tell her w/o making it a fight between us???

Answer 1

I dont know the whole situation with ur girlfriend and her ex but after 5 yrs there is a common bond between the two. She could see the situation less threatening than u but if this ex doesnt have another girlfriend there is cause for concern. U have no choice but to confront her but ultimately its out of ur hands. No matter what u say, she will see him again if thats what she wants to do. Bad situation man, but u must talk to her respectfully about it and b prepared to make tough decisions. Everybody has a right to choose their own friends but u have the right, in this situation to feel uncomfortable with theses two still talking after a 5 yr relationship.
Good luck man

Answer 2

Good question. In my opinion, I think that if you are that jealous and insecure, then maybe you should reevaluate your relationship and ask yourself, "Am I ready to go through this whole thing all over again"? I know that you might have some trust issues that need to be worked out, but in the mean time your bf needs you to trust him and know that he will do the right thing. I have a feeling in my heart that he loves you and he wants to be with you, but with the insecurities and jealousy that you express, it is only a matter of time before you drive him into the arms of another woman. I know this sounds mean and I'm not trying to sound that way but it is what it is and the truth is that in order for you to be able to make the relationship work out with you two, you have to learn to give a certain level of trust. Now, by all means I don't think that you should not be concerned or worried about him, but I do think that you should give him the benefit of the doubt and know that he will do the right thing while he is away. I can also understand if you might have gone through a similar situation, but all people are different and just because your last bf might have cheated or whatever doesn't mean that he will do the same. But to make a long story short, if your that concerned as him to call you once a day so that you know everything is ok and that way it can put your mind at ease. if he is faithful like you think he is, he will come back to you with open arms, no doubt about it. but it all begins with trust and without that, how can a relationship survive? I mean come on girlfriend, if he really wanted to be with someone else, would he really have given you the time of day or hooked up with you and made you his girlfriend? Just something to think about. I hope this helps you out and everything, believe me, it will be okay. you can email me if you need more advice or just a listening ear.

Answer 3

If she's yours now, why do you feel like the ex is moving in? Being disrespectful to her by telling her whom to have in HER phone is HER business.

If she isn't lighting your candle enough, be gentle and tell her so. But she knew this guy and he's an ex for a reason. You should act like the better option instead of the temporary. Be a gentleman and love her more.

Answer 4

i still talk to my ex (he is my best friend), i don't think my fiancee likes the fact that i talk to him but he also knows that all i feel for my ex is friendship. if you think there is more between this guy and your girl then you should say something. if not then learn to live with it, she has known him longer than you and if they are good friends, then they will always be friends, if you don't want to lose her then you have to find a way to make it work

Answer 5

The first answer is what I was going to tell you its going to start a fight no matter what you say. If she is seeing him then you need to worry but just for talking I would not worry about it you half to trust her its all you can do.

Answer 6

You just gotta be real about it. tell her that if she likes you as much as does then she should do it. tell her that you feel as if its not a good idea to talk to her ex. He she keeps on doing this its a wrap just let it go. 5yrs is a long time so you have to take that into consideration also

Answer 7

Just be honest with her..you don't have to shout or raise your voice...just tell her in a nice calm voice that you do not want her talking to her ex..tell her would she like it if you communicated with your ex..she is disrespecting you, and you should let her know..Tell her to put herself in your shoes and what would do if she was in the same situation...

Answer 8

You don't.
Anything you say is going to start a fight. You can lay down the line, though. You can say, okay she can talk to him but only for this long or this often or whatever.

Answer 9

just try to take it calm & tell her exactly how u feel! i knw u might be jealous bc she is talkin 2 her ex but u got 2 trust her dat she wont do nething & that she is urs!!! dats y she is with u not her ex! so try not to worry to much!

Answer 10

1 way- tell her u don't like that/.
2nd way- tell her that she can talk to him,,,,but just honest and tell you everything...
if she still doesn't tell you when and why she talks to him,,maybe she still have something for him left. but u have to understand they have became good friends bc they we're 2gether 4 five years!