OK ...I married a wonderful man who has custody of his son.We have been together for about two years.When we first got together..his ex wife would pick up her son on the weekends and sometimes after school...She would see him as much as possiable.Now she hardley ever see him or calls....she only live a few minutes from use....We have tried to talk to her about what she is doing but she thinks my husband is trying to control her.....I love my stepson and i want whats best for him.....he is really upset about not seeing his mom more....Ive tried to be honest with him...he is nine years old...How do i tell a sweet nine year old that his mother is more consider with having "her own life" [her words not mine],then spending time with him.BTW...I take care of him 24-7....its hard ,i feel in my heart he is mine but at the end of the day I wish his mother would take a least a lil interest in him....this has been going on for about 9 months or so...
2007-12-03 07:01:41 · 8 answers · asked by TERRI S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have explaned that some times people make bad choose and That I love his mom but that i dont like her chooses right..I feel so bad for the lil guy.
2007-12-03 07:11:21 · update #1
we did use the whole ,.....your mom works alot.Hes not buying it.All so she is a freaking lier....when she calls she tells him we wont let her see him!!!!!!!!This is an absolutely not true......We are think about taking her to court if she doesnt start acting right....is this wrong....
2007-12-03 07:15:28 · update #2
just a lil more info....sorry but this is really important to me....Me and my huband have talked about taking her to court....to remove her rights....But my husbands scared that his son will hate him....I told him he need to get over that...We are here to be parents not friends....
2007-12-03 07:45:35 · update #3
Unfortunitly your just his step mom. There really isn't anything you can do right now. Sit your husband down and tell him your concerns. Ask him if both of you ( your husband and son.) can go over and talk to her in person and let the son know that he can ask him mom why she don't want him to come over anymore? If he won't do that, you tell him that he is forceing you to do step in and go over ther your self and talk to her. Right now all you can do is bether for him, and have the son write his mom a note. Maybe if he writes her a note he might feel better about not going to see him mom anymore.. Slowly you took on the mother roll, and in the end when he is 18 -19 he will know that you were the one there for him and not him mother. You have a strong roll of being his step mother with out steping over the line if you know what I mean. Does the father get childsupport? If he does tell his mother if she doesn't start being in her childs life then he(the dad ) is going to take you back court to get more child support. I know it sounds bad, but it just might work. If you can get her to talk to you, or get her to make an attempt to be her sons mother.
Thank God for him, even though he isn't your son, but you feel like he is. At least you care about him. God brought you into his dads life so you could be a blessing to him. I know that it is killing you inside to see that his won mother doesn't want anything to do with him. That is harf for you, I can't imagin how he is feeling. God put you in his life so he can be loved by someone. Your case is unique, most of the time they are having problems with the dad not wanting to be in the childs life. There is a reason why your husband has custody, and not the mom. God Bless you and your family. Take care of eachother and live life to the fullest.
2007-12-03 07:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by kandie w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm all for breast feeding too, but if a woman came up to me at the store telling me she would give me hers, I think I would have to get rude. Either that or leave. She's a little on the nutty side, and she DOES need to cool it. Maybe she should be seen by a head doctor. She sounds a little more than postpartum to me. She may need some crazy meds. If she can sneak breast milk into your dad's oatmeal, then he can sneak her an appointment with a psychologist.
2016-05-28 00:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had exactly the same situation - exactly. We made sure my stepson was never prohibited from seeing or talking to his mom, and let her have visitation whenever she wanted. When she didn't, we simply made sure he was loved and knew he was wanted where he was. You can't force her to pay attention. Offer to drive the child over and pick him up, maybe for shorter periods, like a Saturday afternoon. Invite her to things he does, like school plays or karate exhibits. I can't say it worked out, as he has lots of issues from his mother walking away, but I can only say what we tried to do. Perhaps you could go to family counseling and have the counselor call her and talk to her.
2007-12-03 07:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by ssmesq 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do to make this woman want to be a mother. All you can do is be there for your stepson. The best thing to do is tell him that his mother works a lot and is very busy. One day he'll be old enough to see for himself that she was a bad mother, but there's no need to tell him that at such a young age. Just make sure he knows how much you love him. That's all you can do.
2007-12-03 07:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, give yourself a break. You are not responsible for this woman's choices and you are not responsible for explaining her behaviors.
All you can do is tell him that you don't know why she isn't calling or coming but let him know how much you and his father love him.
That's all any one can do.
Good Luck!
2007-12-03 07:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you can do. You can go over to her house and clang her a good one on the head with your iron skillet and ask her what the hell is she thinking!! That's what!! Tell her her boy is hurting because he thinks she doesn't love him any more, and all she can think about is her next date, or job, or car, or "life", or whatever!!
Tell her she'd better shape up or stand the chance of losing her sons affections for good, because who can love another for long who does not love them back?
Good Luck!!
(I was exaggerating about the skillet.) (But not much.)
2007-12-03 07:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't say I'll have any good ideas but, it's best to tell them, in a way they can understand and will be easier for them to wrap their heads around. But as they get older, be less 'soft' about it, and tell them the whole truth when their old enough.
2007-12-03 07:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Silver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there's anything that you can do. I don't think you need to tell him anything, let his father do that. All you can do is be good to him.
2007-12-03 07:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋