For a while I was casually talking to this one guy. Eight months later we finally decide to make things official, he is now my bf of 4 months.While we were just talking he pretty much dangled, in my face, this other girl he was kind of talking to who lives 6 hours away.For a while I felt threatened by her. It even came to a point I just stopped talking to him, but he kept pursuing me. I got a little worried that he would choose her over me, but thats not how it went. Well he talked to her one time, after we got together, and I explained to him why I didnt like him talking to her. The fact that he brought her to my attention like she was something special, you know? He then assured me that I had nothing to worry about. That though he thought she was a cool person, I blew her out of the water and she could not compare. He also said he dangled her to keep me on my toes. Stupid I know.
Anyways the main thing is, she commented him on his Myspace today.
2007-12-03 06:56:51 · 23 answers · asked by TheLight 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now before you guys get any ideas, dont think I'm some page stalker. Not at all. I went to comment him and found that she left him a comment saying " Remember I told you about that December thing, you better be there!" Now about a month ago I know he called her because he told me. He told me that he had a feeling that something was wrong with her and he called. He had the same feeling before one of his x girlfriends died, so that being said I didnt get mad.
I'm not mad at him. I'm just annoyed. I hate hate hate.. that she continues to try and talk to him. And she cant pull that "we're just friends" BS because they were interested in each other at some point in a more than friends way. & I know she was heart broken when she found out about us
I realized though he assured me that I am the one. I will never get over that hateful dislike feeling towards her.
11 minutes ago
I've done my homework and figured out that its her college graduation. Shes graduating to be a teacher.
2007-12-03 06:58:42 · update #1
I've done my homework and figured out that its her college graduation. Shes graduating to be a teacher.
Another reason why I feel I cant be mad is because he didnt erase it. He could have but he didnt. He logged on way before I looked at his page. That lets me know hes not doing things he shouldnt and has to hide.
2007-12-03 06:59:03 · update #2
Ok when I told him I why I didnt like him talking to her. I didnt even have to ask him to stop talking to her he said so himself, he said "no problem i just wont talk to her anymore."
But that he made this one call because of that feeling. i know hes not bsing about his x cause i'm the one that gave him the bad news that she passed away. so i know its not some story hes making up. if so why would he even tell me? i dont look through his phone and would have never known he spoke to her.
2007-12-03 07:07:11 · update #3
your a better person than me because I would have dumped
him...sounds like something fishy going on there.
2007-12-03 07:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by Geminat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are all young and I dont think your BF is being completely honest with you. He wants you but can not let her go. I dont buy the ''I had a feeling'' story. It's old. He might even like you more but it's the ''more'' you should be concerned about because it also means that there might be an ''also''. Her.
It sounds like she's quite close to your BF. She's more than ''just a friend''. Maybe she's less than a lover but still a potential problem.
I dont think the ''friend'' thing will work. However, if you force him to give up his friendship with her it could harm your relationship with him. You may just have to trust him. That trust might fly back in your face.
The bottom line is that I would rather try and fail than not try at all.
Take him at his word. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Either way, I wish you luck.
2007-12-03 07:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by galactus177 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a graduation is not an invitation to go to bed together, however, if she's hoping something else will transpire, that's a different story altogether. I guess if he wanted to go as one friend supporting another, it wouldn't be such a big deal. It's unlikely that he would be the only guest there to see her. Undoubtedly, her family members would also attend. Again, if there's a party later, it's not going to be just the two of them. I would suggest you go with him but that would make you look insecure. Either he's trustworthy or he's not. If he's brought up the graduation to you, then discuss your concerns that she is maybe unwilling to let go. If he hasn't brought it up with you yet, give him some time. It could be that he doesn't want to go and will want you to help him think of a way to get out of it. In that case, he could send a card of congratulations but just not attend the graduation itself. That should send a gentle hint that she needs to let go. Whatever you do, don't let him know you saw her message. I know you weren't spying, but it will seem that way. Give him the opportunity to bring the subject up. Let this play out on it's own and see how he handles it. That will tell you what you want to know. I feel for you, hon!
2007-12-03 07:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by pookiemct07 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, first of all, through genders out of the window. This is a universal problem that vexes all relationships at one time or another. I have been on both sides of this one, and I can tell you that it's not easy to work this one out. BUT anytime someone dangles another in your face, to "keep you on your toes" means you are dealing with a player. GET OUT NOW!!! It is no longer about trust, but whether or not he really loves you. People who manipulate others are users, not lovers.You might "blow her away" as far as his needs are concerned, but when all is said and done, is he "truly" yours? It doesn't matter if he's not having a sexual relationship with her, she already has his heart. That he has nothing to hide from you means that he doesn't care if you find out anything un-toward. Look, I've been a professional entertainer ( singer/guitar player) and have made my living by flirting with woman with money. I did this while married to a woman that I loved dearly. I never cheated on her, but she cheated on me. With a "friend" that she just went to coffee with on regular basis. We separated, and divorced 12 years ago. We are still friends. We have 2 kids. Her BF lets me sleep on the floor from time to time when I'm between jobs and have no place else to go. He's not jealous of us, even though he knows that she still cares for me. We will never sleep together again, and everybody knows this. Like I've said, I've been on both sides of this situation. She has his heart, but maybe only as a friend. you'll never know untill it is too late. This is the kind of stuff that will make or break your relationship
2007-12-03 08:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your right, you are the one, one gullible fool. Whats wrong pet, is there a light on but no one at home. You don't need some one Else's baggage in your life. Remember Princess Di. There was more that one there too. Move on girl, with ove comes respect, with respect comes trust and trust is the rock all good relationships are built on.
2007-12-03 07:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enought is enough hun, after so many bad relationships I finally figured out that you know early on what you're delt with when it comes to your mate. If it's not this girl it will be another and another and another. Quit investing your time and heart into this. Personally, I like a guy who is 100% computer dumb when it comes to myspace,360 etc. keeps them out of trouble!
2007-12-03 07:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by Eric 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my EX husband had a similar "non-girlfriend" that I found out later he was sleeping with when I was pregnant! After I confronted him, he got very beligerent and told me that he "had to get it somewhere" and she was just a friend that he was using for sex. NOT OKAY!!!! Then she started calling me and telling me about their sex life, other things happened and then I left. Get out before you get too deep, if he continues to talk to her and have conversations or email her, then he hasn't let that relationship go and I really wouldn't trust him not to be cheating. If he is dangling her in front of you, then he isn't serious about commitment.
2007-12-03 07:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by jestduck1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is he staying in contact with her? If they were child hood friends it might be one thing but you said they were kind interested in each other but you happened to win out. Is he hedging his bets or what? I don't get why he even has to stay in contact. It 's just gonna be a problem some day. Ask yourself if the situation were reversed would he have a problem?
2007-12-03 07:05:09 · answer #8 · answered by blj63 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK calm down a little. it sounds to me that your BF is about to cheat on you. if he hasn't already. This December is he actually going to go to this woman's graduation is he serious.?if he does i hope at least he invites you. and if he doesn't why wouldn't he? if its going to be just friendly ? it seems that every time he contacts her you don't tell him anything and if you do he tells you a BS story about this horrible feeling he has and you blow it off. so he keeps doing it. so tell him TONIGHT. that you don't like him being in contact with her considering they were dating before or whatever they where. and it needs to stop. if he wont you need to leave his a@@. because he will bang this chick sooner or later.
2007-12-03 07:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by whynot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they were just friends he would have no problem taking you to the graduation......commenting on myspace causes problems......well myspace and relationships cause problems.....my husband hates myspace..and doesnt understand the reason for it...he is very jealous of it too...but back to the bf......tell him...continue to keep open communication and tell your feelings and that you demand to go...if he says no...they you need to think y he's not comfortable with you going...he may be trying to hide something....then if you do go...dress your *** off.....and be all over him......have fun...
2007-12-03 07:03:52 · answer #10 · answered by mrslewis1123 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see your point,and you are right to keep a watchful eye.
not to be paranoid,but observant,so you don;t actually scare him into her arms,men are fickle sometimes.I just lost mine to his long time "just friend and employee",even though I;m pretty sure she has no idea what he was doing in his mind.
He wanted FWB all of a sudden,and I had to remove myself from the situation and let him go.I'm thinking it will blow up in his face,karma style.
2007-12-03 07:10:48 · answer #11 · answered by t_blond_chick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋