why am i scared?

Question

why am i so scared to sit down and just talk to my bf about our problems you know cause we argue alot. but im 16 and his 18 and i feel like he won't listen to me but saturday night i sit in the truck talking to him and i told him that i would give up everything that i have my whole family just to be with him if my family had ditched him i would give it all up to be with him i would give my dreams up just to be with him!!! But it seems like when we go to talk about things im scared to say what i wanty. But he don't take stuff serious but the other night i told him to take all of it serious you would have to know him but n e ways why am i so scared to talk to him? and we have been together for 6 months and i'm extermely happy with him just our attudies need to change

Answer 1

You are 16 years old and learning about relationships and
communication....that is part of the reason you are so scared.

You say that you argue alot, he does not listen, then that you
have been together for 6 months and you are extremely
happy with him.

I think you want to be happy with him; I do not think you are, though. If you were able to share your feelings with him and
know your thoughts and feelings were respected, then you might be happier.

If you would feel cared for or loved, and not feel the need to
say you would give up all of your dreams for him or your
family for him.....then I would think you might be happier.

Teen years are better used to develop yourself---who and what you are---your talents, skills, joys....the hopes you have
for your future life, what you will put your own energy into---
technical training, college, that kind of thing.....

And eventually meeting the person who fits into the life you
have developed for yourself.

He may have dreams, too....and want the freedom to make
them come true....and to really love someone means to
share those dreams and to encourage one another as you
reach for your goals. Can you and he do this for one another?

It is difficult to be so young and feel so in love and not know
what to do when you each feel he does not understand or
see the relationship the same way you do.

I hope you consider talking to someone about
your feelings so you have a loving buffer for the pain and
anxiety you are experiencing.

I wish you all the very best in life.

Doris

Answer 2

OKay first off im not tryin to be funny acting or nothing like that. I think you giving up your goals and dreams and even your family is a tab bit too much. You are only 16. You still got growing up to do. Hell i got growing up to do and i am 23. You're not supposed to let anyone take your dreams away. its not worth it trust me. Ive been down that road. You have to be happy with yourself first. You have to do for your ownself before other sometimes. I totally understand what you are exactly saying. Relationships come and go. Family is the most important thing that a person can have. You have Love, Caring, and Joy. and more and more. But sometimes you do have to give up family. But dont actually give up family. Just give up Them liking your boyfriend. But as far as dreams. You cannot let anyone take your dreams away. Next thing you know you're not going to follow them and 8-10years later your going to regret. As far as you being scared. Dont be. Relationship isnt perfect. If you have something on your mind you need to speak it. If not then you're going to be irritated and angry and its going to get worst and worst. Its all about being real about mature about situations. So dont be afraid to say things just because you want a relationship to work. It isnt worth it okay. Good Luck

Answer 3

Is your bf physical or verbally abusive? If he is end it now, if he is not then just take a deep breath and tell him how feel. Maybe through in a few tears to let him know how serious you are. He probably don't take stuff seriously sometimes because he is still very young and guys don't mature as fast as women. Even though he is older then you may not mean a lot.

Answer 4

Listen, your young. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Your 16 years young. 16 is alot for a car, but not for people. Arguing all the time is not normal. That shows your not clicking together. If you'd give up your whole world for him...would it be worth it? Because then you'd live only by HIS rules and demands. That's right. Demands. You'll be controlled and lose yourself, or your "ness" as Dupree said in the movie "You, me and Dupree". your 'ness' as he said is what makes you...you. Been there, done that and been left behind left too many times only to have to put my life back together. Keep me posted, please. I hate to see others go through this.

Answer 5

Please don't EVER give up your dream for anyone else! EVER! Let alone at 16. Take a step back and think about what you're saying.
You'll give up your family? That's absolutely insane darling.

And, if you're too scared to speak frankly to this guy, you should not be so into him. Perhaps your fear comes from knowing your current perspective isn't what's best for you in the long run.

Answer 6

I know what thats like. When i was 14 i started dating my boyfriend who was 16 then. we have been together 4 years, and we've had our hard times. but if i could, I would go back and re do all of this. I'm 18 and getting married in under a year. I spent my high school years commited. Yours sounds worse then mine, but im telling you, if you stay with him, you arent going to be happy.

Answer 7

Well being a little uneasy about that kind of stuff is normal. Since your young, your not sure if you want to open up to him in case something goes wrong and he tried to use that against you later on. Just give it some time, and slowly try talking to him about small things then slowly work your way up to the bigger stuff.

Answer 8

Well, statistically speaking, even if you stayed with him, it would not last long. If I were you, I would concentrate less on him (and maybe even break up with him, hard as it is to hear) and work hard on school. Strictly relationship-wise, it is possible to talk about feelings TOO much with a guy, so unless he's physically assaulting you, I'd just not talk about all that feeling stuff as much as you have been, you're probably freaking him out.

Answer 9

When I was 16 I got engaged... he was 19 and I thought we were so happy... but I also was always worried to say what I really wanted too b/c we would end up arguing... we eventually broke up and no i'm married to a man that i've never been afraid to talk to, i've always been free to tell him anything i needed to and discuass anything and he respectes me enough to listen, and accept what i say even if we don't always agree. I hope you find that too.

Answer 10

well in my opinion i thing that your scared to talk to him is because you don't want to hurt his feelings but remember if you want you relationship to last you need to sit down some ware quite and have a serious talk with him gust try to ignore the scared feeling or you could ask a friend to help you what to say or how to say something, most people end up falling out because they never talk seriously