We've been dating a month. All my friends really really like him and have been trying to get us together prior to our one week together. He was so obvious with his signals for having a crush on me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to date him because I didn't know him that well. But I thought it might help me to get over my ex-boyfriend.
I initiated the whole thing, told him I liked him but didn't know for sure. So we decided to talk on the phone for a week to get to know each other. I found out he had lied to me -- he told me previously had a relationship for 2 yrs. It turns out that he has never had arelationship before. We are 19.
So he asked me out. I don't like him anymore. He is not the person I thought he was. He was more talkative on the phone. He is not flirting. He told me he "loved me and I was the one for him." I told him it freaked me out, he said he was sorry. I do not feel comfortable with him anymore. but my friends love him and he is a really nice guy. i feel like a jerk.
2007-12-03 06:39:55 · 45 answers · asked by sam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Who cares what your friends think? You don't like him. He lied to you and is moving things along faster than you're comfortable with. In fact, you were never sure if you liked him in the first place. Break up with him. There are gentle ways of doing it. In the future, try not to let anyone talk you into dating someone you don't actually want to date. Whether it's friends who know "the perfect guy" or a guy who keeps pushing himself at you, listen to yourself. Otherwise you're wasting your time and his.
2007-12-03 06:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there is good reason that he has never had a relationship before. But of course, at 19 if he told you he had never been in a relationship before, that would have been enough to make you think he was strange.
Some of the nicest people are uncomfortable around the opposite sex. Doesn't make them a freak, just shy, or awkward, or immature. Someone with some patience, may find a fantastic companion behind the awkward smile.
If you like him as a friend, like your friends do, then keep it that way. But DO NOT make him think that there is a possibility of more. step up and be honest. If you think there is a chance, take it slow and give it a chance.
2007-12-03 06:48:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this sounds like drama! Well, it actually sounds like you were only with him as a rebound. It is not fair to him at all, to be with him to get over your ex. The guy is wrong to lie to you, that is definitely not cool... I would say you should probably just explain that you need time by yourself to sort things out. Why be with someone solely because you do not want to be alone? It also sounds like he is falling for you hard, so end the relationship before he gets even more caught up in you like that. How can you guys be in love after a month? Wow, that is kind of fast. Let him go but since he is such a nice guy try to end things on a friendly basis. Do not just be all mean saying you dislike him because he will be so hurt!
2007-12-03 06:45:38 · answer #3 · answered by ♥CJ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sam, I'm also 19. My relationship with my fiance began the same way. When i first met my fiance i had been in a relationship for 2 years with a guy. We met a party and hit it off from there. What I'm trying to tell you with this is that, yes another guy can help you forget your ex, but now that your not happy and don't feel how you once did then you should think about yourself. besides... he lied to you, and that's not cool. but no matter how much advice you get, its on you.
2007-12-03 07:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Karla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's somewhat shy or something or has an incredible crush on you and is just afraid not to mess things up.
But it really doesn't matter if your friends adore him and call him god. What matters is how you feel about him.
If you don't like him anymore then you should definitely break up with him.
You're only 19. You have lots and lots of time to find the right guy :)
2007-12-03 06:49:24 · answer #5 · answered by Kazey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a jerk. learn from this and be a big enough person to let him learn especially if this is his first relationship at the age of 19. I was a late bloomer and got mis-judged alot, but it was just inexperience. Finally one girl had the patience to tell me how a relation ship goes and point out the mistakes I kept making. She wasn't interested in dating, just allowing me to learn. Be that girl for him
2007-12-03 06:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by Neandrathal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, YOU ARE NOT A JERK. YOU DID NOT CONSIDER HIS FEELINGS. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS A LIAR. EVEN THOUGH HE LIED TO YOU, YOU ALSO LIED TO HIM, BUT YOU JUST DIDN'T TELL HIM. WHEN YOU STARTED TALKING TO THIS GUY SO YOU COULD GET OVER OYUR EX-BOYFRIEND, THAT WAS 1. THAT IS SOMETHNG YOU SHOULD NOT EVER IN YOUR LIFE DO. THINK OF IT IF SOME ONE DID THE SAME EXACT THING TO YOU AND YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT IT. YOU WOULD BE CRUSHED. SO, JUST THINK IF HE EVER TOLD YOU THOSE THINGS. WHAT I'M GETTING IS THAT HE REALLY LIKES YOU. HE HAS HAD A CRUSH ON YOU. EVEN THOUGH YOU LOOKED AT IT AS IF HE LIED TO YOU, WHY YOU NEVER LOOK AT IT AS IF HE WERE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU. THAT IS WHAT HE WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO. SOMETIMES WHEN PEOPLE LIE ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT, THEY ARE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU AND SHOW YOU HOW GOOD THEY CAN BE TO YOU, IF YOU DON'T TRY TO DESTROY THEM.
2007-12-03 06:48:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jwanna J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not your fault really that you don't like him. Give him a real chance. Let him know you don't appreciate being lied to, and tell him you want to take things a little slower but you'd still like some romance (like flirting and flowers or w/e yanno?) or i mean you could tell him you don't like being lied to and he shook the foundation of your relationship apart and although he seems like a nice guy you don't think you want to date him. The choice is yours. I guess it depends whether or not you feeling dating right now.
2007-12-03 06:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't break up with him. Try talking to him and say that if you say you love me then you have to show it. The chances are that if he is showing no signs of flirting or signs that he really DOES care about you then he just doesn't care at all.
Say to him if this doesn't work out then we will have to end it, and if he seems really bothered by it and persuades you to change your mind, even if he has tears in his eyes then he does care.
Hope this helped. I know I sort of blabbed on for a while, sorry.
Good luck. x
2007-12-03 06:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by d4n2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was only lying because he probably felt embarrassed that he had never had a relationship. He probably feels like he loves you and that you are the one for him only because you are his first. If you don't like him, then by all means, break up with him. But be honest and straightforward about it. If you try to spare his feelings by not being direct, it will only make things worse (for both of you).
2007-12-03 06:45:37 · answer #10 · answered by Balthier 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋