‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash tore open the icebox then threw up the sash. The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear: a marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer! That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick I knew in a second that I’d wind up sick.
The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear; On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS a Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.
From the top of the scales to the top of the hall now dash away pounds now dash away all. Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress my clothes were all bulging from too much excess.
My droll little mouth and my round little belly they shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly. I spoke not a word but went straight to my work ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger beside my heartburn I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned. I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry if temptation’s removed I’ll get thin by and by.
And I mumbled again as I turned for the night in the morning I’ll starve . . . ’til I take that first bite
2007-12-03 04:47:32 · 10 answers · asked by ♥ 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
sounds like the diet is out the window hun, pmsl
star time
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2007-12-03 10:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by tastybits 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I need some support....my husband, Mr Gorgonzola just divorced me.
That smelly b*****d went off with that cheesy Miss Cheddar down at the pub....AND NOW THEY'RE BOTH MAKING CHEESE TARTS TOGETHER
Excuse me while I sit down and pig out with a tub of Gourmet cheese with cake.
2007-12-03 07:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by Queen Latifah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like it a lot merry christmas
2007-12-03 05:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by ju 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good and Merry Christmas!!!!
2007-12-03 04:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol this was cute, thx for sharing. I think we can all relate in one way or another...star
2007-12-03 06:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by Deedee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
2007-12-03 05:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like it a lot.
merry christmas.
2007-12-03 05:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by xyz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha!!
i usually give in if its chocolate!!
starred!!
2007-12-03 12:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Very good Doris.!!!
Cheers.!!
2007-12-03 11:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like it .lol
2007-12-03 16:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by HaSiCiT Bust A Tie A1 TieBusters 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋