My Dad has cancer? I have problems?

Question

I found out my dad has cancer last week and he started chemo.
And I don't feel bad, as a matter of fact I don't feel any feelings?
What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

OH WOW YOU'RE NOT BEING SERIOUS ARE YOU? CANCER IS SOMETHING REALLY BAD AND SERIOUS I HOPE YOU CHANGE YOUR FEELINGS BEFORE ITS TOO LATE(HOPE NOT)

Answer 2

Is this a new feeling or is this associated with being young and not caring? Do you love your father? Has he been a part of your life? If not, you may have reason to not care. However, a lack of feelings is a warning sign and you should not ignore it. Ask for counseling. This may have nothing to do with your fathers illness and be strictly related to your own life and puberty. Many young people go through a period of time where they feel disconnected and rebellous and just don't care. It could be chemical imbalance or a social issue but there is treatment that could possibly help you.

It is sad that it takes your fathers illness for you to realize that you have no feelings. What will often happen is that the person with cancer will pass away . . and many years down the road your feeling will make an appearance, but by than it will be too late.

There is not much you can do other than to seek out counseling help . . but usually you will not be able to change unless you really want to. It's all up to you.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are in shock. Nothing "wrong" with you.
A normal reaction to unhappy news.
Contact the hospital where your dad is and find out if there are any support groups for family members with illness.
It will help a lot.
READ books about cancer and ask for family support.
Try to spend as much time with your dad as possible. Get him to sing with you or tell you a story (and tape it).
Lots of people with cancer survive and live for many years in good health. Some don't. You can't fix it.
Don't waste a minute worrying. Spend it with your daddy, holding his hand and telling him you love him.
Good luck to you and him.
Love and hugs.

Answer 4

My father passed away from lung ca and it was a different experience than I ever thought it would be. I never changed anything I did with my dad. I found my self spending more time, but never treating him any different. Then when he died I didn't feel anything "different". It wasn't until about 6 months after he died I picked up the phone to call him and hit me all at once. I cried for days.
I recommend that you check out the American Cancer Society web site they are a great group of people and were a great source of comfort and knowledge for me. They welcome everyone and really help.
Best of luck and I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with you your father is ill. Not you. This is not about you it is about your father. However since you seem to think that your lack of concern is a problem maybe there is hope for you after all. Your lack of concern is probably due to shock or confusion. Talk to your father about the cancer and treatments. He is probably fearful of the disease and has concerns about all of his family. Talk to a doctor, teacher, religious leader about the stages of grief or even ask about them on Yahoo. You are likely grieving and in denial and so don't have feelings that you think you should have. Don't ignore the disease in discussions but try to be positive Cancer can be beaten. (A survivor)

Answer 6

First, how old is your father, and has he had many health problems in the past? I know that my father that has had 5 heart attacks, back surgery, has been in the hospital multiple times. And every time he goes in the hospital I am not worried, because I am so used to him being just fine, nothing can touch him. So I don't think there is anything wrong with you, reality just hasn't hit you yet. Or maybe you are supposed to be the strong one in this situation, the one with your head on straight. Just tell your dad you love him and mean it!

Answer 7

My father had cancer many years ago and I can remember finding out and being in denial for several weeks. There is nothing wrong with you, it is a built in self defense mecanism that we all have in order to survive when things are bad. Prayer is the best thing that you can do right now and offer the most support for him that you can, and to the rest of your family also. Sometimes God picks one person in the family to be strong for all the others and that may be what is happening with you.

Answer 8

Nothing is wrong with you. People feel in very different ways. If you have no feelings well then maybe it just hasnt sunk in and you havent let yourself feel anything. Either way dont worry about it. And just so you know there is such a high rate of surviving from cancer now that he probablly has a very good shot! Maybe just ask him questions about his cancer, his chemo. Maybe let him know you are unsure of how you are supposed to treat this news in your life.

Answer 9

I'm so sorry to hear of this-my prayers are with you and your father. Maybe the feelings you have right now are just in a state of shock about what could happen to him if the chemo doesn't work. It doesn't mean that you don't care, its just that he is as close to you as anyone can get so it strikes deep and leaves a numbing effect. I know that at least with me, it brings me face to face with my own mortality being that we as humans are so very fragile. I hope and pray that everything will work out.

Answer 10

Probably you are a very conscious person aware of how fragile we are, and entering in WHY, WHY? doesn,t do any good, of course you love your father very much but we are not from this world,(cancer is bad but doesn,t mean that your father is going to die right away) One more reason to be happy and enjoy all the time you have with your father, mother etc...of course better said than done.ALL THE BEST IN YOUR DIFFICULT TIME.

Answer 11

My mum had cancer for 18months and died recently and i find i still dont really feel anything. I think im still in shock as this isnt something that happens to you it always happens to strangers. I think it is just shock and im afraid that i cant tell you when it will really sink in.
Nothing is wrong with you, good luck for what is to come

I cant believe some of the above answers how can people be so heartless.
Your not mean, your not evil and you dont need to see a doctor. The illness or loss of someone you love is bound to be a shock