So my boyfriend of three years finally admits to me that he is scared to meet my family. He thinks because he is alot older then i am and that he is of a different race that my family will just act two face and smile in his face and laugh behind his back. I think if my family loves me they will accept him for the person that he is no matter what. I don't think my family is that shallow but then again I'm not sure. My family is very important to me but i don't want to get his feelings hurt. What should I do?
2007-12-03 03:37:44 · 5 answers · asked by MIA 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes we have been dating for three years and he has met my mother and my mother has met his mother and i have met his parents.. When i say family I speak of all the uncles and the aunts and the cousins (and it's a big one).
2007-12-03 04:59:12 · update #1
The age difference isn't that important if it is really love and there are many good relationships with an even greater age difference. As far as the race difference, you can perhaps sound your family out ahead of time as to what they would think in that situation but you have to remember that you are biased in that he is your boy friend and they will be biased by the fact that they want what is best for you. I sounds like he may lack confidence in himself perhaps, and perhaps you do as well since you are wondering about the relationship and whether it will last. that comes to my mind because two people who don't have the highest self esteem will have more problems in a relationship than two confident people. I will give you a website for that and other life choices and you may find information there also which will help you both. Good Luck to you!!
2007-12-03 03:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference matters little though guys are worried about that. My now DH lied to me and said he was 26 going on 27 when he met me. I at the time was 20. In reality he was 29 going on 30. There is a 9 1/2 yr difference between the two of us. He origionally lied so that I wouldn't freak out and not date him. LOL.
My family never said anything to me about not liking him for his age. Though it is funny that my husband is 9 yrs older than I and 9 years younger than my mom...LOL.
Now I can't really give you advice on the race thing. I know my dad would have a hissy fit. My mom might not be happy about it at first but she'd accept him into our family. My dad might actually refuse to talk to me again if my DH was a different race. No skin off my back...LOL...he barely talks to me anyway. One side of my family (my dads side) is fairly racists...most are a few are not. My mom's side is pretty much not racists...most are not racists a few may be...though I wouldn't know which ones were.
Even though I can't give you advice there is nothing for your man to do but bite the bullet and meet your immediate family. It is up to you whether they meet your extended family.
2007-12-03 11:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sandra R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he loves you and wants to be part of your life, he should understand that your family is part of your life.
I find it a little odd that you have been together for 3 years and have yet to do the "meeting of the parents'
Besides, 10 years is not a big diffrence in age. My parents were 18 years apart. Yes, when he was 18 and you were 8 it was a big diffrence, but the ages you are now, it's NOTHING!
2007-12-03 11:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by theWHYgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know alot of people that have 10 plus years between them, and they are doing fine, it is you that has too be happy remeber that!!
2007-12-03 11:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by LINDA J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please clarify: Over the last 3 years,
Why haven't they met him?
Why haven't you told anyone in your family about him?
2007-12-03 11:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by jirocpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋