my kid is too agressive?

Question

hi guys my 3yrs boy does everything to behave agressively.he hits,kicks bites and pinches when offended.he is really short tempered and feel offended too easilly and hits back when is scolded,how can i cure him?i am really worried about his nasty behaviour.he is the younger one among two and is a spoiled child.

Answer 1

Please whatever you do don't take your child to a doctor and have him put on Ritalin because that will cause irreparable damage to him that he may never recover from and make his behavior problems much worse especially after he's weaned from Ritalin and turns to street drugs instead.
The main ingredient in Ritalin is methamphetamine which is also the main ingredient in illegal street drugs such as crank and the reason why it slows children down instead of wiring them up is because their metabolisms are opposite from adults so uppers act as downers for children.
Just look at how sugar effects a child if given to an adult it makes us tired but for children sugar makes them hyper and the same goes for coffee if you give coffee to a child they will most likely fall asleep where with an adult it gives us energy.
Your child is acting out some kind of anger he or she is feeling and I'm wondering if their father is in the picture because if he isn't then that would be why they feel angry and are acting out on it.
Children cannot verbalize what their thinking or feeling or even rationalize in a realistic way what's really going on so if the daddy is not around or there's been a death in the family or someone is always yelling at the child or insulting him or anything along those lines the child is not only angry outwardly but also inwardly and probably blames themselves for whatever is wrong.
So what I would suggest is trying to talk to your child and reassure him that you love him and everything is alright.
When my son was acting up instead of getting mad at him I'd run to him and hold him and tell him how much I love him and you wouldn't believe the effect it had.
He'd stop whatever he was doing wrong and love me back and I began to realize he just wanted and craved attention so I began to read to him more and taking him to the park and spending more quality time with him and eventually the behavior problems became a thing of the past.
I also take him to 'The Jungle' every Monday if he's been good all week and that's something he really does not want to miss out on so he's on his best behavior all week so he can go to his favorite place to play.
So maybe you can do the same and find somewhere special your child would like to go and plan on going once a week if he's been good.
But please don't medicate him that will hurt him and could possibly kill him like it already has many other children.

Answer 2

Alot of kids have this issue. It can be caused by alot of different things so I would take an approach that address's more then one reason. First EVERY time your son hits bites ect. get down on his level grab his hands and look him right in the eye and say calmly and firmly no you dont ( whatever ) anymore do you understand. Give him a time out one minute for each year. At the end of the 3 minutes go in and repeat that it is against the rules and if he is calm and ready to apologize for his actions then he can come out. Give him big boy jobs to do because he might be needing more direction in his day. I dont know if your family has a structured daily routine but if you dont get one. Having meals and bedtimes on time everyday gives kids comfort and stability. You should also establish very firmly that his parents are the boss no is no every time in every situation. Give it time he will come around if you take control now.

Answer 3

first don't go running off and putting him on medicine. now a days that is every-ones answer. he is just a typical little boy. my child acts the same way they are going through a phase! I have learned the more you respond to this behavior the worse it Willl get but if you pay him no mind and don't react he wil stop because then he is not being rewarded by getting your attention. if that doesn't work put him in time out don't shut him in his room but find a was such as a baby gate or something to keep him in after awhile he will realize that you won't tolerate his behavior and he will be separated from you and others if he doesn't behave

Answer 4

Temper tantrums are normal part of child development.

The best thing you can do is intervene.

Don't give him a chance to hit you... or stop him in the process.

Grab his hands and look him right in the eyes and tell him in a stern voice, "No hitting, be nice to your mummy and daddy."

Show him that you are the boss... I know he is only 3,

It sounds like there is a little bit of a power struggle going on...

Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.

Useful information to understand and how to deal with similar situations

Answer 5

You should probably have him screened for social behavior issues. However, basically what you want to do is use behavoir modification techniques. These mean rewarding positive behavior and denial of preferred objects or activities.

If you son bites--it probably time for a time out.

More importantly make sure to praise him when he acts appropriately say. Say for instance he's playing nicely with a friend and they are sharing a toy. Make sure to tell him how proud and happy you are that he's playing nicely.

Finally be consistent don't allow him to get away with one thing today and not the same thing tomorrow

Answer 6

stop spoiling him... you created or allowed the behaviour with no consequences therefor he does it and will continue to do it. if you are gonna say you diciplin, then either you are not follwing through with threats, or you are not doing the right way of disiplining. Time out is time out, for the amount of time you set (a minute per year of age typically) and he needs to sit there for that amount of time, if he gets up in the middle, the time gets re set, he gets put back and it continues that way untill he sits there the full 3 minutes. You need to be consistant and not give up as frustrating as it can be....
If time out isnt working for him, then i say a spank on the butt will get your point accorss, but that just me...take his things away from him and he gets them back one at a time with good behaviour....Praise the good behaviour, and not positive attention to the bad or no attention at all. Make sure you are being the parent here and dont let him control you... and that starts by stopping the spoiling.
EDIT: why does everyone, including doctors wanna diagnose every little issue with ADD or ADHD,.. they are fricken kids you people, and will behave hyper, happy,agressive at times, (especially if they are spoiled).... stop trying to medicate issues that can mostlly be controled by a parent being the PARENT

Answer 7

Since, he has 2 big brothers, I have to wonder, if he`s that spoiled,or just defending himself.He`s imitating a lot He may be exposed to that which is not be age appropiate for him, but may be for the older kids. He may see alot,that they probably did`nt see at his age.I`d sit back&watch all the kids,interactions etc. At this age, I would have to say he`s copying a lot-the older ones . They know, how not to get caught. Maybe, you could get them to help you. IMHO

Answer 8

What are yo doing for punishment when he does these things. He has to learn that this is not appropriate behavior. Spanking doesn't work with my child. So recently I found out that she doesn't like time out. She is two and has never tried to get out of her baby crib, so I keep it up. I put her in there for a minute for time out. She absolutley hates it. You just have to keep trying things until you find what works. I think he is too young to be scanned for ADD. He is three, full of energy and still struggles with expressing himself. Just have patience, it will not last forever.

Answer 9

I agree w/Kelly. It may very well be ADHD. I know that seems premature, and we may be wrong. However my oldest son (first born) was similar from 1-3 yrs. of age. I never thought he'd get past this "phase". He was eventually diagnosed w/ADHD at 6 but displayed characteristics of it from as early as 1. He is now 10 and on medication to focus and still has issues (easily cries, over-reacts, etc.) but has come a long way. Keep the faith & get help. We started with a counselor and now work with a pediatrician who specializes in kids w/ADD/ADHD. Good luck & remember it probably has nothing to do with the kind of parent you are and it may be just a phase!

Answer 10

sometimes kids that age can't get their words fast enough to express how they are feeling so they hit and bite and such.

give him the words when you see something happening. If someone takes a toy he is playing with say to him "Tell her 'I'm not done with that.'" Eventually you can expand on that to say "you can have it when I'm done"

also, if he's mad, help him come up with the language for that. tell him, "you can say, 'I'm mad!'"

and praise him like crazy when he does use his words!