Any parents NOT "doing" Santa Claus: meaning you are not telling your kids he is real?

Question

How do you handle all the Santa Claus hype that is in TV shows, commercials, stores, daycare/school, etc.? How do you explain it to a 3 year old when others talk about Santa coming to their house but he is not "coming" to her house? Do you just explain he is not real and hope she doesnt ruin the surprise for others?

I dont need answers bashing me for not doing Santa. If you do Santa with your kids, I promise not to say anything unless you ask a question or for my opinion. I am NOT asking for your opinion about doing Santa so dont give it!

Thanks keevelish.

We chose not to do Santa for religious reasons and because I feel it's wrong/hypocritical to lie to children while telling them not to lie. We have never had to deal with this until now when my daughter has started to realize that there is a character called Santa. Our past Christmases have been hectic and we havent had a chance to start any traditions until now.

Thanks for all the suggestions... well almost all of them.

Answer 1

My husband and I have decided to tell our daughter the truth of Christmas, without all the Santa stuff. Yes, he is going to be around.. cant help him being advertised EVERYWHERE.
Our daughter is only 2 1/2 ATM, so she doesn't fully understand it all, but we will continue to tell her the real story. As for others telling your daughter about Santa coming to her house.. tell them politely that you don't want her to believe all the hype about that and tell them that you would appreciate that they didn't tell her all that nonsense..
We have pretty much just started out telling our daughter that everyone that loves her (i.e. gma, gpa, daddy, mommy, uncle, etc) will be bringing her lots of presents. NOT Santa. We haven't figured out the way to keep her from spoiling it for other kids yet, but she isn't really around other kids very much.
We have kinda talked about telling her that some kids believe in him and it's not nice to spoil fun for the other kids.. It would be kind of like a religion... you wouldn't let your kid go around telling everyone God doesn't exist just because you don't believe in him, right? I would think it is all about educating on the entire situation.

Answer 2

I grew up with Jesus being the focus of Christmas however when I was very little, my mom let me and my sister believe in Santa Claus. I have a 2 1/2 year old. She doesn't know much about Santa but I have no problem letting her think Santa will be coming to her house but I will teach her the true meaning of Christmas. I know really religious people who don't let their kids do anything and I feel sorry for the kids.

Answer 3

My son is only 2 so I haven't got thet far yet, but growing up I didn't believe in Santa because my parents told me he was a holiday character, just like the easter bunny. I knew that santa was real in a sense that I would see him on the streets and in the mall around Christmas, but I always knew that he was a character, like a cartoon, make believe. I also always knew that my parents and other family members gave me gifts not Santa.
So I will do the same with my child, I think it is better to tell the truth now than deal with the AWFUL heartbreak later that they will have to feel if you shatter the "magic" of santa later.

I also wanted to add that I don't remember ever ruining it for other kids, I always assumed that they thought the same as me and it never was a problem.

Answer 4

I have a close friend who recently told me about his experience with santa many years ago as a child, and it was enough to make a grown man cry.

He was 1 of 8 children born to hard working but poor parents. He had been taught that santa was real, and one year he wanted a BB-GUN more than anything. He was sooo sure santa would bring him what he wanted, but his little heart was broken on that Christmas morning. When he went back to school after the break, he saw a bully who had caused him such trouble by teasing him for the way he had to dress & etc., and this bully had gotten a BB-gun from santa. He said that this disturbed him more than anyone could begin to know. He said that he would never teach any child such awful lies. Santa brought this man such pain as a little boy, and I'm sure he isn't the only one.

Santa doesn't know if you've been sleeping, know if you're awake, know if you've been good or bad. Think about it. We teach our babies that this fake has the powers which belongs to God alone.

Santa is no substitute for God, and a lie is no substitute for the truth. The truth is best in ALL situations.

Food for thought; the word Nicolaitanes as used in Revelation 2:6&15 means of Nicolas; Saint Nicolas? "WHICH THING I HATE".

Answer 5

I wish you the best of luck with the no Santa thing. It is such a big part of American culture that it is difficult to explain it to a child. I knew a parent who tried to tell her young child that Santa isn't real because she didn't want to lie to her and end up having to tell her later on when she was older. I don't think the child fully understands that there is no Santa yet, with all the other kids talking about it and all the TV specials dealing with Santa . . . as I said before, good luck!

Answer 6

We don't "do" Santa. We sometimes give gag gifts as from Santa, but my DD is 11, so its not a matter of lying, just joking.
When she was little and I was as single mom, there was no way in hell I was letting some myth get credit for the few presents I could afford to get her. We told her Santa was a story, but lots of parents want their kids to believe the story, so it was not her job to tell them he wasn't real.

As far as my son, he thinks Santa is a character, just like any other cartoon guy on TV or in movies. I think he would be creeped out by stories of some guy creeping into our house in the middle off the night;-)

Answer 7

Excellent question!
I have a one year old son and my husband and I are trying to figure out how to handle this scenario. We intend on making Christmas about what it really means. We have in the past celebrated by having a birthday cake for Jesus, and things like that. We do not decorate with candy canes, santas, elves, etc. We decorate with nativity scenes and lights and stars.
I think it will be a challenge to disassociate Santa from Christmas, and maybe we won't be able to entirely, but what we've decided is to try and make it seem like there are 2 "events" running at the same time. I dont' think you can connect Santa and Jesus, I think they have to be separate. So we'll celebrate Santa and the fun of winter... and we'll celebrate Jesus and his story also. Obviously with more focus on Jesus.

Its hard to say, my son is soo young and we fully expect to have several more children. But I keep telling myself... Jewish and Muslim families have had to fight this battle all along, and they can do it, so can I.

Answer 8

Thanks for confirming what I already thought: that letting the fun of Christmas include Santa was the right decision five years ago. Unlike you, we don't have to fuss over Xmas TV commercials and can focus on what's important for our child's development.

Thank you! You made my day.

The above posters are right: tell your kids Santa falls in the same category as Mickey Mouse, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Bugs Bunny. They're all fictional characters in a make-believe fantasy world, who will never come to your house under any conditions.

And next time you visit Disneyland, emphasize that Mickey Mouse is not a real rodent.

Answer 9

We aren't going to teach our children about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. I was heartbroken when, at the age of 8, I learned that my mom was actually the one wrapping the gifts and putting them under the tree. And by the time I was 10, I was helping because my stepfather always got drunk to the point of passing out on Christmas Eve and didn't help her.

We are simply going to tell our children that some people believe in these things, and some don't. And our family doesn't. It's the same as athiests who teach their children that some people believe there is a God, while some don't. And their family doesn't. We will teach them not to say "Santa doesn't exist!", but rather "My family doesn't believe in Santa, but we respect that you do."

Answer 10

My husband and I don't do the Santa Clause thing. We are raising our daughter in a Christian house hold. We tell her that St. Nicholas was a nice man who lived a long time ago in Russia and gave gifts to children, but he most certainly was not a fat magical man who jumped down chimneys.

I see no reason to lie to her. My family never did Santa Clause either. I never grew up feeling sad that "Santa" wasn't coming to our house. I just enjoyed Christmas for what it is: a celebration of Jesus' birth (even though he was born sometime in spring, or so they say) and that the holidays are for spending time with family and being thankful for what we have.

We don't start explaining to my daughter when she's three. We start from birth. If she chooses to tell other children that there is no Santa then that's the other kid's and parent's problem. They can't shelter their children forever.