Catholic In-laws....???

Question

I just got married. My husbands parents are strict Catholic and my parents are strict Non-denominational....yes so our wedding was interesting. It’s been two months since we were married. My parents have done a great job at letting us be our own couple and mind their business...his parents not so much.
We decided as a couple that we would try different churches to find what WE like...not just what our parents like. So we have visited Catholic churches as well as non.

I was cleaning my house the other day and found a note from his mom that was complaining about how we never go to mass as she layered the guilt on by saying how she paid for 12 years of Catholic school and how disappointed they were in him. This of course made my furious. I know that we will have ongoing battles for when our first child is born and if we do or don’t get him christened/confirmed/catholic schools ect. What is the nicest way for us to tell her that whatever we deicide is our business?
I AM NOT looking for people to argue with me about Catholic vs. Non and so on. All I want to know is the best way to tell them to mind their own business so we don’t have future arguments about things?

Answer 1

My in laws are also catholic, and I am not. It took a year or two but once my mother in law realized that I was not influenced by her religious opinions, although I respected them and never condemned them, she pretty much leaves us alone about it. Of course my husband had stopped going to church a few years before we married, but she still wanted our children to be christened, and attend Catholic school, as my husband did.
Be a strong woman, and always be overly respectful of her beliefs. It is also absolutely necessary that you and your husband are on the same team with this. Discuss it and ask him what he thinks you should say if his mother confronts you with it, and find out how he handles it so you can back each other up. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Once you are married, the outside world should OFFER their opinions, not shove them down your throat. I am a non-practicing Catholic, my mother is devout. I admire her for that, but it's not who I am. The only person that matters at this point is your husband. A church is only a building. The group of people that attend that church are the ones that count. If you come across a group of people who are welcoming, loving, and caring, and you and your dh feel right about it, then attend that church. Baptize your babies there. MIL did not put him through Catholic school so she could hold it over his head later on. She probably does feel put-off and a little upset. Let her. When she sees that you and your husband are faithful, loving, and eventually, amazing parents, maybe she'll get it. Until then, don't scream and yell with her. Simply let her know (as a married couple) what your plans are. Keep her informed, include her when you can. Telling her to back off won't help matters and then she'll have something ELSE to hold over your husband's head...Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 3

Your husband needs to handle it. They're HIS parents.

I think the best way to solve the problem, though, is for you and your husband to take the RCIA course at the Catholic Church together. You can keep visiting other churches, no problem, but then your husband can tell his parents, "We're in RICA so my wife can learn all about Catholicism. We'll let you know what we decide." The information you get in class will be useful to you as you make your decision, and his parents will be happy that at least you are giving Catholicism a fair trial.

Answer 4

Others have already printed links to the Catechism and the Vatican website.. so I gained't attempt this, yet I especially recommend gazing those. really we: a million. Attend mass on holy days and days of legal responsibility (you should bypass weekley or diverse circumstances per week.. yet no longer everybody does) 2. Attend Confession a minimum of once a 12 months 3. Recieve the Sacrament of Holy Communion a minimum of once a 12 months 4. in case you'd be married, you marry contained in the Church, and promise to advance your toddlers contained in the Church an excellent huge style human beings also tithe weekly to the church, help the undesirable, pray the rosary, etc.

Answer 5

I think ultimately it depends on how unified you and your husband are. Due to the fact that you had to "find" the note on your own and that he neglected to inform you about the note, it sounds like he's not on the same page with you. He might feel a lot of pressure both from you and his family but if he truly feels that you both should visit different churches before you find your church home then there shouldn't be any problems telling his parents to back up.

Answer 6

It is ironic that adults cannot mind their own business and insist on meddling in the lives of their children? Tell your husband that you saw the note and he should not be burdened with guilt. You two have a life which will include a church of worship if he choses, that you both are adults capable of making up your own minds on how you will live your lives. Remember, it takes two to Tango: three don't dance too well!

Answer 7

Others have already printed links to the Catechism and the Vatican website.. so I gained't attempt this, yet I especially recommend gazing those. really we: a million. Attend mass on holy days and days of legal responsibility (you should bypass weekley or diverse circumstances per week.. yet no longer everybody does) 2. Attend Confession a minimum of once a 12 months 3. Recieve the Sacrament of Holy Communion a minimum of once a 12 months 4. in case you'd be married, you marry contained in the Church, and promise to advance your toddlers contained in the Church an excellent huge style human beings also tithe weekly to the church, help the undesirable, pray the rosary, etc.

Answer 8

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but regardless of the decision you make, someone will not like it. You know, "damned if you do, damned if you don't", pardon the choice of phrase.
My point is that sometimes you just have to tell everybody to piss off and do your own thing. Your parents will always be your parents. They will always have a right to tell you what they think and will express this right (again) regardless of your decision. And hey, regardless of their opinion, you should do what you and your spouse feel is best.
You two should talk it over and then TELL your parents firmly (but without being a jerk, you know) what you have decided to do.
Its time you take the reigns.

Suerte,
Angelica.

Answer 9

How nice that his mother gave you scrap paper. Leave it at that, go to the church you want, do your own thing and if she says anything, tell her you and your husband make your own decisions and no one will influence you.