how do you start a life from nothing?

Question

so, I live with my dad. it's at least a 20 minute drive to the closest store. I don't have a job. I have a 2 year old son. I don't get child support BUT his father buys his diapers, food, etc. I don't have ANY money, any credit cards, and no one in my family is willing to buy me a car... or give me ANY help whatsoever. The father of my child doesn't want to sign to get me a loan for a car. I understand that my family/boyfriend is trying to protect their credit but I'm constantly getting pelted and nagged about not having a job. How am I supposed to get a job, a car, and/OR childcare if I have nothing to start from? Also, I don't really have any close friends... so I can't ask anyone for a ride. I'm always stuck in the woods with my son. Everyone treats me like I'm a bum, but it's not that I don't WANT a job... I just don't know what to do. How am I supposed to even look for a job if I don't have a ride? And then, I'd have to pay for a baby-sitter... it's frustrating. Any suggestions?

...guess I must add... for the smart asses... that buses do not COME to the middle of the woods in southeast GA and if there was an option of WALKING I wouldn't have had to ask a question in the first place. I live TWENTY MINUTES DRIVING DISTANCE to the nearest gas station who, by the way, is not hiring. lol And to the self righteous ***** who asked if I thought about this before I got pregnant... the answer is NO... obviously not. I was a 19 year old girl who fell in love. It wasn't just some promiscuous teenage tramp who ended up pregnant and boo-hoo nobody wants to save me. I thought I was going to be with this man for the rest of my life. I'm asking a question in hopes of getting a VALUABLE response that might HELP.

Answer 1

is a very difficult situation, and my heart goes out to you. First and foremost, consider this time with your son a blessing and an opportunity. Not many mothers in today's society get the chance to be with their child to love, teach, and give them the care only a mother can provide. The next time someone nags you about your joblessness, tell them you are currently and proudly doing the most noble job in the world.....raising your son and say it like you mean it.
Would your father consider letting you use a car to look for work? You didn't mention if he works or has transportation. There have been some good suggestions made here. For the present, do look into the working at home opportunities and explore every option available through the social system. I think you are a deserving young mother who is sincerely looking for a way to provide a good life for yourself and your little boy. Have faith in yourself. You do have real limitations, and that's the only explanation I'd ever give anyone, except for the one above, because motherhood is the hardest job you'll ever love....you know what I mean? You have the will to succeed and I know you will. Many Blessings.

Answer 2

I'm sorry you had so many inmature and ignorant answers.

This must be so frustrating.

What about school first?...Online classes even? Is this your computer?....or someone elses I'm wondering.

This is going to be an essay here, so bare with me...

Because the thing is...you have a child. Trust me I KNOW, what it feels like to be stuck in a house with absolutely nothing to do....even though you WANT and DESIRE to do so much. I was 25 when I had my first child, and I was lucky because the father was and is Navy, and marriage happened fast...

But..

I always felt empty...always. My job as a stay at home mom was NEVER enough, in my husbands eyes. And even though we were stationed in Hawaii, the state that has the best public transportation in the US, we still only had one car, that he used for work, and babysitting was just too expensive in HI.

My freedom came when I got a Nikon as a gift....a camera, it was actually a Nikon D50. There on Ebay right now for like oh....$300 something dollars. And let me tell you I was a nut with my little digital camera with my first child, always taking pictures of her...but I never though I had an eye for taking pictures.

Slowly I started taking pictures of everything....people.....families.....reading about Photography...learning the ropes....etc.

Then I started Penn Foster Online, wich is only $32 dollars a month..Today? I have my own Photography Web site and I charge...$1,500 for weddings alone. Those prices weren't always that high.

I was actually charging only $30 dollars at first for a photo session. It included 20 Edited photos, a photo collage of there best photo's and their CD with all the original photos, etc...inside. And I took my 2 year old.....Lily...with me to all the sessions, it was hard, but even my clients would play with her and give me breaks.

My point is.....that I started slowly. It took me 2 years to be were I am today. If this is someone elses computer, then ask if you can use it for a couple of hours a day. If this is your computer. Then start looking at Online Classes, and Online Universities.

http://www.elearners.com/colleges/index.asp

How about aplying for Financial Aid...FAFSA Online? Is an easy aplication, and you should have no problem getting assistance for any Online College that takes it, and there are a LOT.

Do a short Certificate....that's what I did. Something out there should catch your interest. My Online school didn't even ask me for my high school diploma.

And all I had was a GED.

Now look in here and tell me if this is not talent.
http://vanorden724.cmdwebsites.com/

Do your research online....make a plan....and slowly start. Because right now you need to be with your baby. Soon that baby will be in pree-school too. And maybe getting a short education first will help you in a few months to get that job you need. Even if it's a part time job.



P.S. And you can also start asking the father of your child to take him on the weekends...or something. He has responsibilities, even though you two were not married. You can still take him to court if he doesn't comply. But if nice is all you can be then so be it....it's ok. It's better sometimes for the sake of the child.

Be strong, you ARE stronger than you think.

Answer 3

I had 5 kids when mine left me. I had no car, no job, but a little help from my Family. I saved up my change, yes, nickels, dimes and quarters. Went to a thrift store and found a child's wagon. Loaded up as many kids I could fit, then, I walked the longest walks I've ever had in my life. 10 to 15 miles a day. Packing the kids some chow and hoped that things would look up. Call your local Human Services Dept.. If you love the situation that you're in, then stay. If not then it's time to move on... For my perseverance, I went to a 2 year college, finished, got two jobs, by the way now the family loved to watch the kids for money, anyhoo, my children are now grown and have chosen great professions and one just recently graduated from college. It was a very long and hard journey, didn't think we'd make it, but we did and all because my children seen how much I sacrificed just for them to have it better than me. Take one step at a time and do something that will further that goal. Start raking leaves for some kind of menial income, run errands for the family. Remember that there are a 100 ways for you to fall but there are also a million ways to get it right. To you, it will seem like you're a slave, but think of it as regaining dignity, then you'll find your self worth........Merry X-mas. Santa's got something for you.........

Answer 4

I always like to copy the phrase where there's a will there's a way....... or with enough effort.............we can accomplish anything........



Sometimes that is a bigger hurdle than other times, but if we sit down and think, there is always a way no matter how far fetched if we try. Many times we can then look back and laugh at how we got where we did.

Ok, first idea.... Perhaps there are other parents in your situation close by? Maybe you can babysit for a few and save some money up for a cheap car that will get you by until you can get better. You have to start somewhere.

Second idea......perhaps you can place an add in the paper for car pooling. I realize you don't have a car on your end, but you can work on a deal to pay a bit of gas for your ride. Gas is high priced many wouldn't mind the relief of cost for a ride share..... Someone has to be going the same way even if there is a bit of time reflection or if you have to find two different rides there and back. You can offer gas money on pay day.

You can then see if there is any babysitting you can trade with others for weekends or an opposite shift and just trade watching each others children.

Does your dad work? Does he travel to town daily? Would he give you a ride for a bit of gas money on payday, until your situated with a cheap car? You could tell him you'll pay the gas back when you get paid if he can help you through a few weeks of tranportation until you can get your own so you can get on your feet.

If none of these work, I would travel the neighborhood asking for small odd jobs, including babysitting, until I could buy that car and make my way up the ladder. Your starting with nothing so it may be a rougher start but with effort you will see yourself begin to accumilate things and it will encourage you to go for more. You just have to get that first foot out there and don't give up until you have it. Each small thing can lead to another until your well on your way to bigger. First you have to start somewhere.

In turn all the people who make comments will see the struggle and efforts you gave to get where you end up and have to be impressed that you rose above it all. You can do it. Get your mind set and go for it.

Answer 5

Tricky .... are there any other Mums nearby in a similar situation? Perhaps you could start a parents and toddler group in your house a few mornings a week, and when you have established good relations with some of these people and are pretty sure that they are trustworthy and reliable, you can explain your situation to them and what you want to do. People who have been in your situation will be more likely to be understanding and helpful, and possibly have much better suggestions.

I must say that you write well, and you seem articulate. Is there any way that you can find a way to earn some money by writing from home, and thus not have to spend what you earn on a babysitter?

Answer 6

i know that social services in ky help in 500 towards a car they also help with medi cab call u may be suprizied at what resources available to u like public housing in the city where u can walk i was a social worker ten yrs where there is a will there is a way .determination, as far as the father child support or help his decsion u didnt get this way all by ur self

Answer 7

Don;t even think twice of depending on your man already..that is not a pathetic situation...you dont need others to start for you and in the end they will take advantage of you...look for a job..even if it meant a lowpaying job, better than nothing or you will be more dependent on others and pathetic.This time you have to be more serious about life.it has been low for sometime..so do it for your kids' sake ok???

Answer 8

Working from home? You could stuff envelopes, or you could do proof reading, there are loads of jobs you can do from home, you have a PC, or access to the web, start searching, everyone starts off from nothing really, you just have to find an opening.

Answer 9

move house or catch the bus, same as the rest of us.